Happy Halloween

I wonder which Doms would prefer to do? Carving the pumpkin or carving the girl ?! *perks at knife play*

Planning France 2011

Imagine its 2010.....we girls want to get started planning important things, like our annual trip to France next year - our 5th anniversary

lessa: hugsssssssssssssssssss her sis.... hey.... the date is set...
lessa: september 6 2011....
lessa: and a couple of days later our guests will arive.. but first a few days that castle for the three of us...
clare: now I just can't wait to see the dungeon...
clare: grins
lessa: I wonder what Dante and tiggr will say.... if they see this castle...
clare: they'll say ..which bedroom will we have? grins
lessa: such a great idea of DragonM to invite a few very close friends for a week...
lessa: can't wait to see Angel and Hans there... and jr and sergantP
clare: uhmmm.. the bedroom with the big bed is for DragonM and us..
lessa: with the beams...
clare: lol !!
lessa: now have you any idea what he has in mind for those first few days alone?
clare: So looking forward to just being with Him. The thought of His arms around us…..and what we’ll all do after we leave the warmth of the log fire in the main room, and make our way upstairs. All of us in that big bed…..wondering if He brought the cane……the flogger…..He will have two very, very excited girls.
lessa: OK... now I am melting, and already it is so hard to wait till we finally can go
clare: And of course, any ice we didn't use in our drinks downstairs will, we're sure, be put to excellent use in bed
clare: of course !!! *big innocent smile
lessa: heyyyyyyyyy, now I am having goosebumps... mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
clare: we deserve more then that
lessa: mmmmm, well I am wondering if M:e and Mike will be able to make it, they are on holiday together just before our week
clare: I'd love to see them - it would be lovely if all our friends could be there
lessa: I do hope we have some time to visit some of those nice Perigord Noir sites we all love
lessa: do you remember the first time the three of us went together... already 5 years ago
clare: nodding hard.....all those dark caves...sooo many places for us to be in *weg*
clare: 5 years !! that long ??? I remember it so well
lessa: mmmm, you loved those caves, and the midnite walks
lessa: but now we are gonna have a France special with so many close friends
clare: the midnight walks....the long trips to that lake nearby.....
lessa: I think even Fian and kd will be able to make it
lessa: oh boy, we need a kitchen schedule
clare: *raises hand....erm...can I do the cooking????
clare: grins
lessa: uhmmm, you will need somne help!
clare: and I'll even dress as a maid for Sir!
lessa: hugsssssssssss her sis... that sure will surprise him!
clare: surely the best person to help in the kitchen would be 'spice' ?? *grins
lessa: ohhhhhhhh yes, and sergeantP can peel potatoes...
clare: huggsss..I love seeing Him so happy...remember that first time in France when we knelt for Him..in togas?
lessa: yes, heyyyyy, maybe it would be an idea if all of us ladies had one of those
clare: yesssss.....all of the men so proud *smiles
lessa: well, as long as DragonM is proud of us, then I am ever so happy
clare: whispers ...best keep M:e out of the kitchen - I remember how dangerous she is with a wooden spoon !!! *grins
clare: smiles...yep, He's the important one
lessa: ohhhhhh, do tell me *winks*
clare: *coughs* chasing a certain Dom around a kitchen with it ...smacking a poor sister's bare bottom with it......
lessa: ooopsssssssss.... mmmmm, now I can't se that happening in such a lovely castle...
clare: that first time in France was the first time I begged for His cane
clare: grins.....but in that lovely castle..so much more room to chase a Dom around !!
lessa: all those lovely memories... and we are gonna make so much more... 2011... 2016.... 2021... mmmmmmmmmmm
clare: smiles....i LOVE making memories with you and Sir
clare: grins...so many memories....kinky and otherwise !
lessa: mmmmmmm... love you..lots.....
clare: love you so much
lessa: cheers, to many more years of DragonM and us!

With all our love to DragonM, from His fox and His lessa

Changes....

NOT the kind of clothes I wear to my office job! But yes, I do wear pinstripes!!

I flopped down to go online for a short while yesterday after spending a few hours sorting through my wardrobes. I needed a rest - lol - I cleared out twelve bags of old clothes altogether !! I had a brief chat with M:e on IM about how we both found it easier now to throw things out - we had less inclination to hang onto things 'just in case'.

The clear out made me realise how much I've changed in some respects. My taste in clothes has changed beyond recognition in the past couple of years. My elder daughter will often see something in my wardrobe and say, 'hmmm.....that's not really you anymore is it Mum?'. The majority of my clothes used to make me blend in - become part of the background. I very rarely used to wear accessories because I deemed them a bit of a waste of time.

On Wednesday, my mother went shopping and bought me a top and jeans that she said were just my thing. Grins - she sees fantastic bargains when she's in Marks & Spencers !! When I saw them, I was quite surprised. A long baggy pink blouse ...did she really see me as wearing somthing like that ? But I realised that I had worn things like that for a long time, she just doesn't see me enough to know that I've changed, both in what I wear and in the way I am. For a long time I used to live in leggings and baggy t-shirts - I won't even wear them to go to bed in now !!

Last week at work, I was told by a colleague that I was in the male staff's 'top ten' of women at work that they'd like to ....er....*blushes*....get friendly with (and before ANYONE says it - no, thats NOT a top ten of only ten women, theres 62 women at work !!).After I dried up all the tears of laughter, picked myself off the floor and stopped hyperventilating he told me that its partly because of the way I dress and look, but partly because there's just 'something about me'. I'm fun, can talk about anything, they love the fact that I don't act differently with the men than the women. I don't put on an act. My colleague told me (with a twinkle in his eye) that I come across as someone who could be a very, very bad girl, and that's what the men love - they'd love to find out just how bad I can be. Grins....they have NO idea !!!

I'm not a small, thin woman by any stretch of the imagination ( and I have a good imagination). So it's lovely to hear this kind of comment, because as my friends know I've had enough negative comments about my size to last a lifetime.

Yes, I still have insecurities in my M/s life, that I generate myself, but in general my self confidence has soared. I'm a pretty strong, confident woman at work and a lot of that is thanks to my M/s life.

I do things now I never thought I'd do - fly to other countries on my own, take the kids abroad without my husband, I've just booked a private house in France for a weeks holiday with my husband and kids next year and am booking flights seperately- I'm not going on a 'safe' package holiday !! Dragon M Sir has said He'll let me practice driving His car to get used to driving on the wrong ......er I mean right side of the road. These are just a few of the things I now have the confidence to do.

Two weeks ago I was assaulted at work. A pupil kept slapping and punching me extremely viciously - I've had to report the assault and use several trees worth of paper to go through all the formalities. I've been told that if I proceed with all of this paperwork and get this boy - a strapping six footer - dealt with I'll probably get his gang of friends/monkeys to intimidate and threaten me.

But, I'm going ahead with it anyway. He will NOT get away with it. I'll see them on the corridors and I'll handle it. I won't let see how much he hurt me.

Now that's confidence.

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A hint....

I'm counting down now until my trip to see Sir and lessa on November 30th - He knows how much I need a spanking and some hard play *smiles (and hopefully He'll allow it !) so I thought I'd leave a picture of a beautiful bare bum - a blank canvas - for Him.......just to remind Him! *grins

kussssssssssssss
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Question time....

I went for an interview today, which instead of being the allocated one hour extended to two !!

Some of the questions I was asked (and the answers I didn't give !!)-

Do you see yourself as a leader?
Er.....more of a follower actually. I mean..have you ever tried leading Dragon M Sir???

Do you have problems taking orders?
Erm....nope, not from Dragon M *winks

Would you have any problems travelling?
Nope - I travel to Holland as much as possible

Are you open to the idea of training?
I'm very open to the idea of training, in fact I'm undergoing BDSM training right now

What training tools are you familiar with?
*blushes* cane, crop and a lovely rubber flogger

Are you familiar with disciplinary procedures?
Absolutely - Sir and I discuss where I went wrong, and how to rectify it. He doesn't use physical punishment but He does use.....oh wait !!! *slaps forehead* sorry !! misunderstood that one !!

What are your feelings on equal opportunities?
I endorse them wholeheartedly. I want an equal opportunity to get a spanked ass !

What hobbies do you have?
Kinky sex, kneeling for my Sir, being beaten, caned, flogged, spanked, caned, candle wax dripped on me, fisting, cropping, being chained, being made to crawl, sex chat rooms, reading my friends BDSM blogs, being my Sir's fox and pleasing Him in every way I can, needle play, knife play..........oh, and I like to bake

Here was a strange one.....do you consider yourself shy or outgoing?
Erm....I've had threesomes, had my then Master doing hard play on me in front of my two sisters and Dragon M Sir, had full play in a public play party, walked around naked with a VERY red arse in front of a full room, walked naked outdoors hand in hand with my sister in France, had my Sir beating my arse whilst I leant against the outside wall of a dilapidated cottage, sat in the back of Sir's car chained and half naked on the way to our cottage, walked around a Dutch safari park for a day wearing a vibrator which SOMEONE kept tutning on and off...on and off...all day long and didn't give permission !!!!!........DON'T think shy would apply !!

I would have LOVED to have given some of those answers ! *grins

Instead I was my usual professional, restrained, calm self and answered them all in a way that would make Dragon M Sir proud. But it's amazing how my M/s life can give me a slightly 'twisted' view on everyday things *grins.

Can't wait for my next interview !!!!

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Still learning....

Wow...no posts for ages, then two in one day.

I mentioned in a previous post about my tendency to hide - to build my wall. This happened again this week, quite severely.

Different factors over a period of about a week had left me feeling vulnerable and pretty weak. Some problems were M/s related - but of my own making - others weren't. Job problems, kid stuff, an assault at work all added up to my feeling so low. It pretty much came to a head one night this week when in IM with Sir, I mentally shut Him out, basically not talking with Him and doing my hiding routine. I took down one of my postings from this blog, and actually tried to temporarily close it - not permanently because I have too many precious memories on here.

The next day I talked it over with lessa, trying to explain exactly why I'd reacted the way I had, also giving her a copy of the explanatory e-mail that I had sent to Sir. But, how do I explain something I don't understand myself??

In a previous M/s relationship, I felt able to share only the 'good' side of me. I tried not to show any problems, however sometimes not showing them caused more difficulties in the end. When I had issues, and insecurity problems, I would try to shut myself away from him until they were solved and then emerge, thus keeping the negative side hidden away.

Lessa pointed something out to me - that submission isn't just the fun stuff, it's letting Him see the bad stuff too. She also pointed out that I gave Him the right to see all of me not just the bits I chose to show when I gave Him my submission. Basically - my sister kicked my arse, and not gently.

My discussion with her led to us narrowing down one of my problems - I actually get quite scared at how intense my feelings are. I've only known Sir since January real time, and obviously this past few months have really been a whirlwind. My release, my holiday with Sir and lessa and my daughters in Holland, then my holiday with them in France. So a lot in a relatively short space of time. It sometimes seems difficult to justify such strong feelings for Him after such a short time. But......do I need to justify? And to whom? I find it hard to comprehend how I can feel so safe and secure with Him, and still doubt myself so much, or at least my ability to please Him, to be what/who He wants.

I sometimes get scared of hurting Sir, lessa and yes....of hurting myself. And occasionally my old 'lets hide and create a distance between us so I don't get too close and get hurt' routine seems such an easy solution. But as lessa pointed out (rather forcefully!) submission isn't meant to always be easy, and besides....we don't quit !!

So I will listen to my sister and my Sir. I'll buckle down and get through my 'rough patch' - He knows whats on my mind, and He's still on my side of my wall. He isn't going anywhere else, and I know that lessa is with Him.

No-one else will ever cause enough insecurity to threaten what Sir, lessa and I have - I'm the only one who can threaten it, through my own insecurities. So I need to get those under control. It will happen. It's just a matter of time.

In the past, I've often been told one thing and seen something entirely different.

I just have to remember that Dragon M Sir is NOT one of those who have done that to me - ever - so, as lessa said, why make Him pay the price?


kusssssssssssss Sir, kussssssssssssss lessa

For the newest brat....

For my darling sister - a beautiful, handmade, extremely soft cushion for your sure to be tender bottom *grins

And oh look !! It features the currently most popular girls' cartoon characters....

BRATZ !!

Tiggr....kay....PLEASE look after your new recruit - we don't want Dragon M Sir's arm getting too sore from all that spanking when she's a brat!!

laughing, hugs and kisses
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Get Well Soon

For my favourite Sir.....get well soon, if we could, we'd send You a nurse for 24/7 care !

kussssssssssssss
Your fox

Confidence....

I've learnt a lot this past few months, and my confidence has grown immeasurably. I've done things I never thought I'd do, and changed how I react to certain situations too.

A certain Sir had me writing a poem, something which I've always said I'm no good at. I worked hard on it, and by the time it was finished felt extremely proud. And He loved it, so that left a very happy girl here *smiles (if I ever get brave enough I may even post it on the blog !).

And of course there was the infamous Vogel Rok rollercoaster when the girls and I visited Sir and lessa. What started off as teasing ended up with Him giving me the confidence to go on a rollercoaster for the first time in my life. Admittedly I clung to His hand and buried my head in His chest all the way , but I did it !!

He also got me into sub space - again the first time in my life. That was an incredible experience, and left me absolutely speechless.

He's also taught me to let go - something I've never been good at. I was frustrated at something the other day, and pretty upset. When lessa came online, I asked if we could talk about it - we did, we agreed the best course of action and I asked for His approval on that. I also wrote down all my feelings on an email to Him - He can see what I was so upset about, and hopefully understand my reactions, and I've got it off my chest and not bottled it up. So now it's dealt with, I won't 'go back there', it's a closed book.

Having Someone that I can go to without worrying about being rejected, who follows through on His word and who lets me know how important I am to Him and lessa means the world to me. I have so many less fears with Him. I can be myself. In France, if I wanted to sit at His feet - I did. If I wanted a cuddle, I wrapped my arms around Him and hugged Him, or curled up on one side of Him on the couch while lessa was on the other side !! He takes an interest in all areas of my life, down to chatting with my colleague at work if I can't take His call !

Not having to second guess what He means, if He really meant what He said and 'does He really actually want to see me' means that I can concentrate on the things He wants me to. As I've said before, I'm not His slave - I'm His fox - but He says nothing to me that He doesn't say to lessa - no double standards. Lessa and I talk about everything and she's well aware of my feelings. I've been extremely blessed with both of my sisters. I couldn't have wished for any better.

I know I'll never see as much of Him as lessa does....they're in the same country !! But because that's what I expect, that's what I know and understand, I have no problems with it whatsoever. There's no secrecy and everything is out in the open - I know where I stand.

I know who I am.

I'm His fox.

kussssssssssss for Sir and lessa
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A recipe....

I admit to being a painslut submissive who LOVES chains, beatings and hard play, but I have my sensitive side too ! *grins

I found this 'recipe' in a WI cookbook I love, for making jams, preserves and chutneys (can't you just see me in a frilly apron in the kitchen?).

I've had one of those days where I took something that someone said to heart, and upset myself about it for the majority of the day. I'm now concentrating on not letting this issue become 'another brick in the wall' (apologies to Pink Floyd) that I build to protect myself.

And this recipe seemed so, so perfect today.


Recipe for preserving friends

Select those with round hearts
Don't bruise with unfeeling words
Add a heartful of the milk of human kindness and plenty of tact
Warm with sympathy
Don't overheat or it may ferment mischief
Knead with oil of unselfishness but beware of jars
Keep in a warm corner of the heart

Years will improve the flavour of this preserve


I know I'm extremely lucky in my friends, they support, love and help me and I enjoy their company so much. I can't imagine not having them.

Thank you all so much.

By the way.....I also have some GREAT recipes for marmalade !!

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Meet the boys !!

Ok....I saw a beautiful Dutch Belgian Shepherd dog the other day, so I thought I'd share a picture of my boys - my two lovely golden retrievers.

Jorge (the paler dog)we had from a pup and is now four, and Bruce was a rescue dog. His details were in the paper as free to good home from a local animal rescue centre. They said he his elderly owner had died and he missed his cuddles and lying by the fire. He's certainly made up for that ! At fourteen years old, we've certainly enjoyed his company for longer than the RSPCA said we would - they told us he'd be around for a maximum of a year. But you should see him, at times he acts like a puppy. And he - like Jorge - absolutely adores the girls.

Two very happy dogs there *grins.


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For lessa....

all my love sweetheart, thinking of you.

kussssssssssssssssssss