Changes....

NOT the kind of clothes I wear to my office job! But yes, I do wear pinstripes!!

I flopped down to go online for a short while yesterday after spending a few hours sorting through my wardrobes. I needed a rest - lol - I cleared out twelve bags of old clothes altogether !! I had a brief chat with M:e on IM about how we both found it easier now to throw things out - we had less inclination to hang onto things 'just in case'.

The clear out made me realise how much I've changed in some respects. My taste in clothes has changed beyond recognition in the past couple of years. My elder daughter will often see something in my wardrobe and say, 'hmmm.....that's not really you anymore is it Mum?'. The majority of my clothes used to make me blend in - become part of the background. I very rarely used to wear accessories because I deemed them a bit of a waste of time.

On Wednesday, my mother went shopping and bought me a top and jeans that she said were just my thing. Grins - she sees fantastic bargains when she's in Marks & Spencers !! When I saw them, I was quite surprised. A long baggy pink blouse ...did she really see me as wearing somthing like that ? But I realised that I had worn things like that for a long time, she just doesn't see me enough to know that I've changed, both in what I wear and in the way I am. For a long time I used to live in leggings and baggy t-shirts - I won't even wear them to go to bed in now !!

Last week at work, I was told by a colleague that I was in the male staff's 'top ten' of women at work that they'd like to ....er....*blushes*....get friendly with (and before ANYONE says it - no, thats NOT a top ten of only ten women, theres 62 women at work !!).After I dried up all the tears of laughter, picked myself off the floor and stopped hyperventilating he told me that its partly because of the way I dress and look, but partly because there's just 'something about me'. I'm fun, can talk about anything, they love the fact that I don't act differently with the men than the women. I don't put on an act. My colleague told me (with a twinkle in his eye) that I come across as someone who could be a very, very bad girl, and that's what the men love - they'd love to find out just how bad I can be. Grins....they have NO idea !!!

I'm not a small, thin woman by any stretch of the imagination ( and I have a good imagination). So it's lovely to hear this kind of comment, because as my friends know I've had enough negative comments about my size to last a lifetime.

Yes, I still have insecurities in my M/s life, that I generate myself, but in general my self confidence has soared. I'm a pretty strong, confident woman at work and a lot of that is thanks to my M/s life.

I do things now I never thought I'd do - fly to other countries on my own, take the kids abroad without my husband, I've just booked a private house in France for a weeks holiday with my husband and kids next year and am booking flights seperately- I'm not going on a 'safe' package holiday !! Dragon M Sir has said He'll let me practice driving His car to get used to driving on the wrong ......er I mean right side of the road. These are just a few of the things I now have the confidence to do.

Two weeks ago I was assaulted at work. A pupil kept slapping and punching me extremely viciously - I've had to report the assault and use several trees worth of paper to go through all the formalities. I've been told that if I proceed with all of this paperwork and get this boy - a strapping six footer - dealt with I'll probably get his gang of friends/monkeys to intimidate and threaten me.

But, I'm going ahead with it anyway. He will NOT get away with it. I'll see them on the corridors and I'll handle it. I won't let see how much he hurt me.

Now that's confidence.

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