Confidence....

I've learnt a lot this past few months, and my confidence has grown immeasurably. I've done things I never thought I'd do, and changed how I react to certain situations too.

A certain Sir had me writing a poem, something which I've always said I'm no good at. I worked hard on it, and by the time it was finished felt extremely proud. And He loved it, so that left a very happy girl here *smiles (if I ever get brave enough I may even post it on the blog !).

And of course there was the infamous Vogel Rok rollercoaster when the girls and I visited Sir and lessa. What started off as teasing ended up with Him giving me the confidence to go on a rollercoaster for the first time in my life. Admittedly I clung to His hand and buried my head in His chest all the way , but I did it !!

He also got me into sub space - again the first time in my life. That was an incredible experience, and left me absolutely speechless.

He's also taught me to let go - something I've never been good at. I was frustrated at something the other day, and pretty upset. When lessa came online, I asked if we could talk about it - we did, we agreed the best course of action and I asked for His approval on that. I also wrote down all my feelings on an email to Him - He can see what I was so upset about, and hopefully understand my reactions, and I've got it off my chest and not bottled it up. So now it's dealt with, I won't 'go back there', it's a closed book.

Having Someone that I can go to without worrying about being rejected, who follows through on His word and who lets me know how important I am to Him and lessa means the world to me. I have so many less fears with Him. I can be myself. In France, if I wanted to sit at His feet - I did. If I wanted a cuddle, I wrapped my arms around Him and hugged Him, or curled up on one side of Him on the couch while lessa was on the other side !! He takes an interest in all areas of my life, down to chatting with my colleague at work if I can't take His call !

Not having to second guess what He means, if He really meant what He said and 'does He really actually want to see me' means that I can concentrate on the things He wants me to. As I've said before, I'm not His slave - I'm His fox - but He says nothing to me that He doesn't say to lessa - no double standards. Lessa and I talk about everything and she's well aware of my feelings. I've been extremely blessed with both of my sisters. I couldn't have wished for any better.

I know I'll never see as much of Him as lessa does....they're in the same country !! But because that's what I expect, that's what I know and understand, I have no problems with it whatsoever. There's no secrecy and everything is out in the open - I know where I stand.

I know who I am.

I'm His fox.

kussssssssssss for Sir and lessa
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