I’ve shared some great times on Positive Submission, and some not so good times. But sadly, it doesn’t feel like the home it used to. I don’t feel as comfortable as I always have before.
So, it’s time for me to move home.
I have a new blog ‘Embracing my Submission’ where I plan to explore my submission, and share my life further, hopefully taking old friends along with me to my new abode. So please bookmark and update any links to me.
www.embracingmysubmission.blogspot.com
Thank you everyone for all everything we’ve shared on Positive Submission. I have an amazing future in so many ways, and hope to share that with you all too. I will be keeping this site live, because I do have good memories here. On my new site I intend to be more 'me', not try to match people's expectations of me.
May we share much more on ‘Embracing my Submission’.
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Monday, April 23, 2007
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Happiness is.....
Today....
** playing with the girls
** older daughter having a haircut and colour that she loves!
** younger daughter going to a birthday party and having a wonderful time
** serving roasted salmon with a honey glaze, garlic italian roast potatoes, followed by the most gorgeous italian chocolate truffle torte
** receiving a wonderful phone call from two great friends in Canada
** receiving another wonderful phone call from a certain Someone who is away for the weekend on a Scout camping trip but was thinking of me and wanted to say hi
......and knowing that tomorrow will be more of the same
*smiles
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** playing with the girls
** older daughter having a haircut and colour that she loves!
** younger daughter going to a birthday party and having a wonderful time
** serving roasted salmon with a honey glaze, garlic italian roast potatoes, followed by the most gorgeous italian chocolate truffle torte
** receiving a wonderful phone call from two great friends in Canada
** receiving another wonderful phone call from a certain Someone who is away for the weekend on a Scout camping trip but was thinking of me and wanted to say hi
......and knowing that tomorrow will be more of the same
*smiles
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Thursday, April 19, 2007
Self confidence....
I had a lovely talk with a friend last night, and caught up on lots of news with each other. One piece of news that I passed on to her, which I hadn't mentioned here was that I'd entered a 'Serve' competition last week. The chat room/information group to which I belong ran the competition, hoping to bring back the pride in online serve writing, which is often made fun of.
Yes - it's cyber - and I know too many people who will scorn that. But it's a beautiful way of expressing oneself - the same as we do in our blogs. An online serve isn't supposed to be 'practical and real'......it's more about the expression, the description, the grace portrayed.
There were about ten or eleven serves entered, all performed in the room in front of about forty people. A couple of Doms did serves, a male subbie, some gor serves, and me !! I was just proud that I entered. For me to have the self confidence to do that in a public chat room is a big step.
I performed the serve for a certain Someone - he apparently sat there gob smacked - speechless - open mouthed at it (way to shut a Dom up !!). It wasn't Gor - it was 'me', incorporating things that were personal to us both after our last meet. After the serve, everyone in room was applauding, congratulating etc etc.....one Dom even gave me a standing ovation *grins.
And I won.
And no-one was more surprised than me.
I was so proud just to have entered - winning was the icing on the cake.
*smiles
On the home front, hubby went back to work two weeks ago, then the girls had their easter holidays, so for the last ten weeks I've had somebody at home with me during the day.
On Tuesday the girls went back to school, and the house feels so empty !!!
It's not as if I'm bored (on the very rare occasions when I have nothing to do, I find something) but the house feels like a ghost ship. I've taken to bringing the dogs upstairs for company when I'm in my office - one lies under the desk on top of my feet, the other across the doorway. I think it's a canine conspiracy to makedamn sure they know where I am - lying on my feet so I can't stand up, blocking the door in case I try to make a getaway!!
I'll get used to it again, but at the moment it feels so strange.
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Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Blogging Awards
'clare sure does belong on this list! We've laughed together, cried together. She did help me to learn so much and she made me think about myself. What I could and could not do. I love her humor, the way she cares. I think clare might be considered a bit hot sometimes by some people, but there is a lot of sweet beneath that hot. I think people can learn from her, she is a fighter and that is a quality I love!'
smiles...lessa nominated me for the Thinking Bloggers award on Monday, and I'm very proud that she did. Bu I have to admit that I had a chuckle at people thinking I'ma bit hot !! *looks down at the pegged breasts photo below....hmmm...yes...well.....lol.
To those mentioned next, if you wish to continue the chain, here are the rules:
1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to five blogs that make you think.
2. Link to this post - http://www.thethinkingblog.com/2007/02/thinking-blogger-awards_11.html so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme.
3. Optional: Proudly display the ‘Thinking Blogger Award’ with a link to the post that you wrote (silver or gold, your choice)
I'm only going to nominate two blogs, because the others which I read regularly which haven't already been nominated are on a private webring, so not generally accesible.
The two Im going to nominate are kaya and subtle slave. Both incredibly strong strong women, both living with their Master 24/7, but such amazingly different people.
kaya has take us through a pain and pleasure filled life, and also shown the depth of the love and commitment in her relationship, and shared day to day struggles with us. subtle slave has documented struggles, joy, the pleasures (?) *grins of labia rings and padlocks.........and given a wonderful insight to her life.
Those are two of the public blogs that I check into every day - they help me to realise how different all situations, and all people are, and it's lovely to see a regular dose of real life BDSM.....not a theory on how 'its supposed to be'.
Than you both for the joy you've given me in reading your blogs, and thank you lessa for the nomination. It meant a lot.
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Sunday, April 15, 2007
And the correct answer is?????
Ok.....what is the correct response when your 44 year old, totally nilla husband asks for a special present for his 50th birthday....
....a threesome with another girl?????
a) Grin and say, 'oh yes !! I've loved it every other time I've done it !!'
b) Bring out an address book and flick through it, saying 'nope....she doesn't like giving blow jobs....nope.....she was too shy last time'
c) Blush like crazy, mutter about you wouldn't know how on EARTH to arrange somthing like that and find some really urgent cleaning that needs doing somewhere well away from him !!
Need a clue which one I used??? *grins
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....a threesome with another girl?????
a) Grin and say, 'oh yes !! I've loved it every other time I've done it !!'
b) Bring out an address book and flick through it, saying 'nope....she doesn't like giving blow jobs....nope.....she was too shy last time'
c) Blush like crazy, mutter about you wouldn't know how on EARTH to arrange somthing like that and find some really urgent cleaning that needs doing somewhere well away from him !!
Need a clue which one I used??? *grins
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Friday, April 06, 2007
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Return to normality....
Hubby went back to work today. It's hard to believe that its seven weeks tomorrow since he had his hip replacement.
I was worried about how we'd cope together - we knew it would be at least six weeks, nd we're not used to being together 24/7 like that. But I have to say, it's been great. We've got closer, we only had one argument in all that time, and we're far sronger for having been through it.
And I'll admit - I really, really missed him today.
We met with my daughter's school on Friday- and a breakthrough !! They're doing an enormous amount to get her the support she needs through her GCSEs this summer. The deputy head to whom I spoke actually gave me the answers that I've been trying to get for months. She was so happy as we left the school....she burst out crying.
And I'm currently planning my next visit with my friend.......I think it's going to be a lot different this time *smiles. My ass is still sore and bruised with lots of welts - I'm amazed that I can still feel it, I rarely get any 'memory pain' *grins. I have some beautiful pictures of our play session, but we're hoping to do more next time. We got so into the play that we forgot to actually take the photos !! We're planning on visiting a friend, so will be a lovely day trip, I get to take a picnic again (strawberries and cream have been requested!!) and we may be making a slight detour *weg.
Things are pretty much on an even keel right now, and I'm fervently hoping that it will stay that way for some time to come.
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I was worried about how we'd cope together - we knew it would be at least six weeks, nd we're not used to being together 24/7 like that. But I have to say, it's been great. We've got closer, we only had one argument in all that time, and we're far sronger for having been through it.
And I'll admit - I really, really missed him today.
We met with my daughter's school on Friday- and a breakthrough !! They're doing an enormous amount to get her the support she needs through her GCSEs this summer. The deputy head to whom I spoke actually gave me the answers that I've been trying to get for months. She was so happy as we left the school....she burst out crying.
And I'm currently planning my next visit with my friend.......I think it's going to be a lot different this time *smiles. My ass is still sore and bruised with lots of welts - I'm amazed that I can still feel it, I rarely get any 'memory pain' *grins. I have some beautiful pictures of our play session, but we're hoping to do more next time. We got so into the play that we forgot to actually take the photos !! We're planning on visiting a friend, so will be a lovely day trip, I get to take a picnic again (strawberries and cream have been requested!!) and we may be making a slight detour *weg.
Things are pretty much on an even keel right now, and I'm fervently hoping that it will stay that way for some time to come.
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Friday, March 30, 2007
Play time....
Last night was my meeting with my friend....and the nerves and excitement got worse as the day wore on *smiles.
We ended up meeting earlier than expected and we decided to spend the night together too, instead of me going home then coming back again this morning. So a lovely session from about 4pm til the early hours of the morning with a break for the hamper that I'd taken, and then starting again at about 6am for a few hours.
It was heaven. Everything that I love, plus new things I hadn't yet tried. And photos too *smiles. Flogging, caning, cuffs, collar, cropping, candles, pegs, chains, a rope bra, clingfilm, a hair bondage, cigarettes, latex gloves....(oh WOW!!!!!), spreader bar, pussy and breast torture........................I lost track of how many times, and how many positions I was tied in.
One of the most intense things was having play done on me with a latex glove covered hand over my mouth....unable to speak, ordered not to move or cum until he said - when I was finally, finally given permission to move and to 'release' it was exquisite.....absolute heaven.
I also had a 'no mercy' caning. With a thin, extremely whippy cane - and they're not my favorite toy. But I'd asked for it - and once I'd agreed to it again - and set up safety signs in case of emergency - I got it. A full strength caning that left me actually asking for a gag - not something I do. I took his best shots, and apparently really surprised him at how well I took them and presented myself for the next strike. And I have absolutely wonderful welts to show for it *smiles.
I also got a barrage of 'gifts' from Dom friends. *grins. My first of many spanking sessions included, 'and these are from XXX.......these are from YYY.......and ZZZ asked me to give you ten of my hardest !!'
He played very hard, gave wonderful sensual play too, great aftercare and took no nonsense from me - those cheeky remarks that just slip out (eg oh poor BOY! when he hurt his hand!) were swiftly dealt with.
But we had so much fun - laughing, playing, teasing, begging (me, not him *winks)......and so many more things to try on our next meet *smiles.
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We ended up meeting earlier than expected and we decided to spend the night together too, instead of me going home then coming back again this morning. So a lovely session from about 4pm til the early hours of the morning with a break for the hamper that I'd taken, and then starting again at about 6am for a few hours.
It was heaven. Everything that I love, plus new things I hadn't yet tried. And photos too *smiles. Flogging, caning, cuffs, collar, cropping, candles, pegs, chains, a rope bra, clingfilm, a hair bondage, cigarettes, latex gloves....(oh WOW!!!!!), spreader bar, pussy and breast torture........................I lost track of how many times, and how many positions I was tied in.
One of the most intense things was having play done on me with a latex glove covered hand over my mouth....unable to speak, ordered not to move or cum until he said - when I was finally, finally given permission to move and to 'release' it was exquisite.....absolute heaven.
I also had a 'no mercy' caning. With a thin, extremely whippy cane - and they're not my favorite toy. But I'd asked for it - and once I'd agreed to it again - and set up safety signs in case of emergency - I got it. A full strength caning that left me actually asking for a gag - not something I do. I took his best shots, and apparently really surprised him at how well I took them and presented myself for the next strike. And I have absolutely wonderful welts to show for it *smiles.
I also got a barrage of 'gifts' from Dom friends. *grins. My first of many spanking sessions included, 'and these are from XXX.......these are from YYY.......and ZZZ asked me to give you ten of my hardest !!'
He played very hard, gave wonderful sensual play too, great aftercare and took no nonsense from me - those cheeky remarks that just slip out (eg oh poor BOY! when he hurt his hand!) were swiftly dealt with.
But we had so much fun - laughing, playing, teasing, begging (me, not him *winks)......and so many more things to try on our next meet *smiles.
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Exams.....
The exams that hubby and I sat last weekend, for pub licensing etc...
WE PASSED THEM ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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WE PASSED THEM ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Wednesday, March 28, 2007
My little Star
My baby performed in her recorder festival last night - and she did sooo well !
Fifteen schools took part, and they were joined by an internationally famous recorder player/artist - it was sheer joy to see her so proud and happy on that stage.
But do you know what I admire most about her? Her patience. They had to practice for eight hours yesterday, and rehearse the show, and a lot of that time was actually just sitting there listening to the speeches, and to other schools performing. She did incredibly well, and I'm so proud of her.
Her mother, however, does not share that same patience. This past week, I've had so much going on real time, that I haven't had much time to think about my upcoming meet with my friend. But now....it's tomorrow!!
I have always got really nervous and excited before a meet - whether it's someone I belonged to, or a first meet. Even before going to a play party with a group of friends, including my Master or Mentor - friends have seen how incredibly nervous I get.
I think I'll clean the entire house today - just to get my mind off the meet !! I've already started packing my bag, and have a few more things to add to it.
Grins...wondering...should I pack the painkillers??
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Fifteen schools took part, and they were joined by an internationally famous recorder player/artist - it was sheer joy to see her so proud and happy on that stage.
But do you know what I admire most about her? Her patience. They had to practice for eight hours yesterday, and rehearse the show, and a lot of that time was actually just sitting there listening to the speeches, and to other schools performing. She did incredibly well, and I'm so proud of her.
Her mother, however, does not share that same patience. This past week, I've had so much going on real time, that I haven't had much time to think about my upcoming meet with my friend. But now....it's tomorrow!!
I have always got really nervous and excited before a meet - whether it's someone I belonged to, or a first meet. Even before going to a play party with a group of friends, including my Master or Mentor - friends have seen how incredibly nervous I get.
I think I'll clean the entire house today - just to get my mind off the meet !! I've already started packing my bag, and have a few more things to add to it.
Grins...wondering...should I pack the painkillers??
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Monday, March 26, 2007
Exams over
Exams are over and we just have to wait for the results now.
The weekend was pretty hard. Ok...really hard. Having to ferry the girls to various relatives while we were at the course, the course itself, the homework, the revision. I'm feeling sooo tired at the minute. Hubby is the same. So at least I know it's not just me being lazy, lol.
The sexy thoughts turn up at the strangest times ! In the coure we were being advised to use latex gloves in certin health situations.....and I got all hot and bothered at the thought of the gloves. Having the tutor point me out to the class as being confident, friendly, outgoing....'and in total control of any situation'....'she will not allow anyone else to dominate a situation'.......they never did understand why I laughed so much at that !
It's only three days till my meet with my friend now, and I've come to the conclusion that all Doms are evil when it comes to teasing a girl about impending play. He has the pre-requisite sadisic streak (I like my sadists) but a very caring side too, leaving me lovely messages to come home to after my exams. It's great - no pretending, no wondering if he really means what he says, no wondering if someone else is really ok with what's happening.
And I'm counting down the days !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I might even.....contrary to what the tutor said......allow him to dominate the situation *big grins and hides !!!!!
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UPDATE - erm.......he WILL dominate the situation.....and my ass is on the line for that comment !!! smiles sweetly and blows a kiss
The weekend was pretty hard. Ok...really hard. Having to ferry the girls to various relatives while we were at the course, the course itself, the homework, the revision. I'm feeling sooo tired at the minute. Hubby is the same. So at least I know it's not just me being lazy, lol.
The sexy thoughts turn up at the strangest times ! In the coure we were being advised to use latex gloves in certin health situations.....and I got all hot and bothered at the thought of the gloves. Having the tutor point me out to the class as being confident, friendly, outgoing....'and in total control of any situation'....'she will not allow anyone else to dominate a situation'.......they never did understand why I laughed so much at that !
It's only three days till my meet with my friend now, and I've come to the conclusion that all Doms are evil when it comes to teasing a girl about impending play. He has the pre-requisite sadisic streak (I like my sadists) but a very caring side too, leaving me lovely messages to come home to after my exams. It's great - no pretending, no wondering if he really means what he says, no wondering if someone else is really ok with what's happening.
And I'm counting down the days !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I might even.....contrary to what the tutor said......allow him to dominate the situation *big grins and hides !!!!!
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UPDATE - erm.......he WILL dominate the situation.....and my ass is on the line for that comment !!! smiles sweetly and blows a kiss
Saturday, March 24, 2007
Cuddles needed !!
Today and tomorrow I'm studying for and sitting the exams to get a licensing qualification which I need to be able to manage a pub. I've been revising for ages, but I have to say that the exams were a lot harder than I expected.
Apparently the exam is the worst that the invigilators have seen yet...very ambiguous questions with no definitive right or wrong all down to opinion, and these exams are supposed to be a straight forward answer - its about law.
I have to wait 7 - 10 days to find out the results.....I can only keep my fingers crossed now.
All day studying, with them ramming info into our heads......only one break for lunch...I'm exhausted !! And the same again tomorrow.
An early night for me I think, after a long cuddle with my babies.
And my husband. *smiles
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Apparently the exam is the worst that the invigilators have seen yet...very ambiguous questions with no definitive right or wrong all down to opinion, and these exams are supposed to be a straight forward answer - its about law.
I have to wait 7 - 10 days to find out the results.....I can only keep my fingers crossed now.
All day studying, with them ramming info into our heads......only one break for lunch...I'm exhausted !! And the same again tomorrow.
An early night for me I think, after a long cuddle with my babies.
And my husband. *smiles
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Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Tired...
I'll admit to feeling tired lately. Looking after hubby, revising for my licensee training course this weekend, the usual family things, extra dance/exercise sessions....today I ended up in bed for quite a while as I think things had probably built up on me.
The ongoing fight with my daughter's school shows no signs of ending - it's given me such a mistrust of educational establishments and sometimes made me feel sick to the stomach.
On the bright side, next week I'm attending my younger daughter's first recorder festival. My older girl has done this for several years, but this will be my baby's debut *smile. Hubby goes to see his consultant on Tuesday when he will hopefully get good news about his hip - he's done so well in his recovery. He's currently walking about a mile, four times a day. Truly unbelievable.
And I also meet a friend next week for coffee and play. Someone I've known for a long time in our chatrooms, we've planned a meet...so definitely something to look forward to *smiles. And the day after our meet, I'm expected to 'sit down' for conferences with various members of management at my daughters review day !! For once, the pained expression on my face won't be at hearing their excuses - it will be from a sore ass!!! Ohhh..counting down the days ! *grins
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The ongoing fight with my daughter's school shows no signs of ending - it's given me such a mistrust of educational establishments and sometimes made me feel sick to the stomach.
On the bright side, next week I'm attending my younger daughter's first recorder festival. My older girl has done this for several years, but this will be my baby's debut *smile. Hubby goes to see his consultant on Tuesday when he will hopefully get good news about his hip - he's done so well in his recovery. He's currently walking about a mile, four times a day. Truly unbelievable.
And I also meet a friend next week for coffee and play. Someone I've known for a long time in our chatrooms, we've planned a meet...so definitely something to look forward to *smiles. And the day after our meet, I'm expected to 'sit down' for conferences with various members of management at my daughters review day !! For once, the pained expression on my face won't be at hearing their excuses - it will be from a sore ass!!! Ohhh..counting down the days ! *grins
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Sunday, March 18, 2007
Happy Mothers' Day
Happy Mothers' Day to everyone !!
I've had a busy but lovely day so far, visiting family, time with the girls etc. They've bought me flowers and one of my favourite perfumes *smiles. I'm a lucky woman.
We went to visit my Aunty today. She was never able to have kids, so for as long as I can remember I've bought her Mothers' Day cards and presents. She's always been there for me ...a lovely lady. She still can't accept sometimes that I'm 'all grown up' - she'll often remind me to make sure seat belts are fastened on the girls, and that I should wear a woollen vest in winter (I don't think silk basques and bodices would quite match her expectations!!).
I played badminton this morning (sooo tempted to call REDREDRED after 45 minutes!!), then went visiting. Two more visits left and a family party that I'm leaving for in a few minutes. And in my case, family parties mean extra baking *grins - I'm always the one nominated to bring cakes and desserts!!! *laughing
We all went to see my hubby's nan yesterday. She's in a nursing home, very frail, and occsionally on a drip. To see him with her - how he talks with her, cares for her - makes my heart flip. He's wonderful like that. I really can't explain how he makes me feel, when I see him with her. I think in any relationship, seeing the softer side of someone helps you to apreciate them more....seeing their 'whole self'. All the men with whom I've been involved in D/s have had massive hearts when it comes to their families, and that's one of the things that makes them so special.
So I'm off now, to a party where the kids will all throw themselves at us (5 nieces and nephews), my sisters in law will get tipsy, and the men will all discuss football and their shared views on Man U !!
And I wouldn't change it for the world. *smiles softly.
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I've had a busy but lovely day so far, visiting family, time with the girls etc. They've bought me flowers and one of my favourite perfumes *smiles. I'm a lucky woman.
We went to visit my Aunty today. She was never able to have kids, so for as long as I can remember I've bought her Mothers' Day cards and presents. She's always been there for me ...a lovely lady. She still can't accept sometimes that I'm 'all grown up' - she'll often remind me to make sure seat belts are fastened on the girls, and that I should wear a woollen vest in winter (I don't think silk basques and bodices would quite match her expectations!!).
I played badminton this morning (sooo tempted to call REDREDRED after 45 minutes!!), then went visiting. Two more visits left and a family party that I'm leaving for in a few minutes. And in my case, family parties mean extra baking *grins - I'm always the one nominated to bring cakes and desserts!!! *laughing
We all went to see my hubby's nan yesterday. She's in a nursing home, very frail, and occsionally on a drip. To see him with her - how he talks with her, cares for her - makes my heart flip. He's wonderful like that. I really can't explain how he makes me feel, when I see him with her. I think in any relationship, seeing the softer side of someone helps you to apreciate them more....seeing their 'whole self'. All the men with whom I've been involved in D/s have had massive hearts when it comes to their families, and that's one of the things that makes them so special.
So I'm off now, to a party where the kids will all throw themselves at us (5 nieces and nephews), my sisters in law will get tipsy, and the men will all discuss football and their shared views on Man U !!
And I wouldn't change it for the world. *smiles softly.
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Monday, March 12, 2007
Get a life
I occasionally - very rarely - post on a blog I visit. To post on there I created a account in the name Dragonsfox.
Since DragonM and I parted company, I have posted maybe twice on that blog, the entries appearing under the original Dragonsfox nick. This automatically happens, I just sign the posts as 'Clare'.
I've been approached tonight to ask if its true that I'm still posting under that name, because lessa's friends have seen it.....and been asking her about it.
Get a life please.
From what I understand, people were going to lessa and questioning her about whether her master now has two slaves back in autumn last year - that upset her then.
I took a lot of rubbish off people while I was Dragon's fox. I certainly don't intend taking it now. I'm also now free to say what I feel on the blog rather than try to keep everyone happy, and be told not to post 'to keep the peace'.
I will not be governed by other people regarding what I write on my blog. I will certainly not be criticised about posts going up in my old name, by people who don't have the gall to speak to me directly about it. If lessa's friends have anything to say about it, then speak to me....don't hide behind DragonM, and leave lessa the hell alone.
Since DragonM and I parted company, I have posted maybe twice on that blog, the entries appearing under the original Dragonsfox nick. This automatically happens, I just sign the posts as 'Clare'.
I've been approached tonight to ask if its true that I'm still posting under that name, because lessa's friends have seen it.....and been asking her about it.
Get a life please.
From what I understand, people were going to lessa and questioning her about whether her master now has two slaves back in autumn last year - that upset her then.
I took a lot of rubbish off people while I was Dragon's fox. I certainly don't intend taking it now. I'm also now free to say what I feel on the blog rather than try to keep everyone happy, and be told not to post 'to keep the peace'.
I will not be governed by other people regarding what I write on my blog. I will certainly not be criticised about posts going up in my old name, by people who don't have the gall to speak to me directly about it. If lessa's friends have anything to say about it, then speak to me....don't hide behind DragonM, and leave lessa the hell alone.
Happy Birthday....
....to a very special friend, who hopefully knows how very much they are loved by me and my babies.
Great big hugs from us all, until we see you again.
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Friday, March 09, 2007
Manners....
I was brought up to use manners...please, thank you...and not to swear. I've brought my children up in the same way.
In chat the other day, I sat watching the scroll and realised just how many people swear as readily as they say hi. And I'm sorry to say that the worst offenders were the girls.
It seems that a lot of the 'newer' submissives seem to think that they need to show how rough and tough they can be, what strong women they are. They tell Doms to f*** off, call other submissives bitches and c***s, and basically scream at people. Their message is meant to be, 'I'm a strong woman, not a doormat, it takes a strong man to make me submit'. I think the message is slightly 'off-key'.
I swear sometimes, yes, but rarely, and only if Im really, really angry (or in play when I'm really taking a hard session). To my mind, projecting that sort of image is letting yourself down - it shows that you have little respect for others or for yourself. It only brings into question the size of your vocabulary, if you have to resort to swearing to make your point. If you're owned or with a Dom - it also reflects badly on him. I'd want to make my Dom proud of me - and swearing at everyone really doesn't do that.
It's sad that so many of the newer submissives seem to want to project this image. I remember many months ago reading a blog littered with profanities - I hated it. I can't understand why someone would portray themselves like that.
Maybe I'm getting old *smiles.
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In chat the other day, I sat watching the scroll and realised just how many people swear as readily as they say hi. And I'm sorry to say that the worst offenders were the girls.
It seems that a lot of the 'newer' submissives seem to think that they need to show how rough and tough they can be, what strong women they are. They tell Doms to f*** off, call other submissives bitches and c***s, and basically scream at people. Their message is meant to be, 'I'm a strong woman, not a doormat, it takes a strong man to make me submit'. I think the message is slightly 'off-key'.
I swear sometimes, yes, but rarely, and only if Im really, really angry (or in play when I'm really taking a hard session). To my mind, projecting that sort of image is letting yourself down - it shows that you have little respect for others or for yourself. It only brings into question the size of your vocabulary, if you have to resort to swearing to make your point. If you're owned or with a Dom - it also reflects badly on him. I'd want to make my Dom proud of me - and swearing at everyone really doesn't do that.
It's sad that so many of the newer submissives seem to want to project this image. I remember many months ago reading a blog littered with profanities - I hated it. I can't understand why someone would portray themselves like that.
Maybe I'm getting old *smiles.
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Education
My 13 year old daughter has been studying for her GCSE maths exam - 2 years early. She's already doing BTEC in Performing arts (yes, she is a drama queen!!) and GNVQ in Technology, and now the school has decided that the more able kids hsould take an extra exam early.
My friends know how highly I value education, but I'm increasingly concerned that she is being overloaded with work at such an early age. My main concern is that she's basically 'self taught' on the GCSE Maths - three 25 minute lessons for each module of coursework, no extra help available, then about 40 hours of working at home to complete each section. And that's a module a week.
I'm angry that parents weren't consulted in this. It's our children who are spending each night working on the coursework until 10pm, and all weekend. It's us that are seeing how frustrated and worried our kids are getting.
I've also been told that even if she passes the GCSE this year, she is still required by law to study maths until she leaves school.....why????? Once she passes the exam, further curriculum time seems rather superfluous.
I'm in discussion with the school now, to ascertain how much help they can give her in the GCSE Maths....they should at least be providing a good grounding in each module before sending the kids home to self study. Sorting out issues like this is the only time I get anywhere near to being Domme....mutters.
Anyone got a flogger I can borrow for the head mistress????
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
My friends know how highly I value education, but I'm increasingly concerned that she is being overloaded with work at such an early age. My main concern is that she's basically 'self taught' on the GCSE Maths - three 25 minute lessons for each module of coursework, no extra help available, then about 40 hours of working at home to complete each section. And that's a module a week.
I'm angry that parents weren't consulted in this. It's our children who are spending each night working on the coursework until 10pm, and all weekend. It's us that are seeing how frustrated and worried our kids are getting.
I've also been told that even if she passes the GCSE this year, she is still required by law to study maths until she leaves school.....why????? Once she passes the exam, further curriculum time seems rather superfluous.
I'm in discussion with the school now, to ascertain how much help they can give her in the GCSE Maths....they should at least be providing a good grounding in each module before sending the kids home to self study. Sorting out issues like this is the only time I get anywhere near to being Domme....mutters.
Anyone got a flogger I can borrow for the head mistress????
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Monday, March 05, 2007
Update....
Hubby has been discharged by the district nurse because she's so pleased with his progress. He's getting better every day, only his sleeping is causing him problems now.
We've been shown details of various pubs in the area we're looking at that are available....WOW !!! Lots of public space, plenty of bedrooms for us, in lovely village communities. I'll be in heaven!!
Oh. And I've been reminded of how 'Doms' (and I really am using the term loosely) in the chatooms assume that because I'm a free girl, I'll do god knows what on cam for them and cyber my ass off. As a friend said, it shows that they really, really don't know me. They offer to cyber with me as a favour, because after all, I must be desperate for some action.
I'll give them action. I'll slap them upside their heads with their flogger handles!
grins.
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
We've been shown details of various pubs in the area we're looking at that are available....WOW !!! Lots of public space, plenty of bedrooms for us, in lovely village communities. I'll be in heaven!!
Oh. And I've been reminded of how 'Doms' (and I really am using the term loosely) in the chatooms assume that because I'm a free girl, I'll do god knows what on cam for them and cyber my ass off. As a friend said, it shows that they really, really don't know me. They offer to cyber with me as a favour, because after all, I must be desperate for some action.
I'll give them action. I'll slap them upside their heads with their flogger handles!
grins.
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Breakthrough
My friends know how I've been working on getting pub experience with a view to having my own pub in the next 12 - 18 months. Finally...a breakthrough ! *smiles
I'm proud to announce......*grins....hubby and I are both doing our personal licence training at the end of March, and I'm now booked in for interviews with the major pub companies - as a pub manager.
I'll do my training on site in a training pub, and get paid whilst doing so, then will be able to move into my own pub - a timescale of about 6 months has been suggested.
If you know me - the you'll know how much I want this. It's something I've wanted for a very long time and will solve lots of problems too, including the chance to get my daughters into new schools.
My husband will keep his current job, and I'll run the pub. It will be a hard slog, its not an easy job and I'm aware of how hard I'll have to work.
It finally feels like I'm getting somewhere...I'm absolutely over the moon.
kusssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Monday, February 26, 2007
Domestication
Just lately, I've been on my knees for my husband (tying his shoelaces, washing his feet), serving him meals, fetching, carrying, generally doing anything I can to make his life easier. And he loves it ! *grins
But he'd give all of it up in an instant just to be able to do things for himself. He's really independant, so to have to rely on someone else to do day to day things really grates on him at times. Little things like not being able to take a plate out after he's eaten.
One thing he's really enjoyed though, is the proliferation of baked goods around at the moment. I love baking, and because of how many visitors we're receiving right now, I normally have at least two different kinds of cakes available. Apple crumble sponge, double chocolate muffins, walnut brownies, lemon sponge cake, date and walnut loaf......the man is in heaven !! And so am I....being able to lose myself in my baking, music on full blast (Blame it on the Boogie and Van der Valk are still hot favourites!) and dance away in my kitchen is great. Ohhhh I'm so domesticated ! *grins
I've decided to carry on my blog even though the D/s aspect will from now be pretty much drastically reduced ! I've used my blog in the past as a way to let my friends know how I'm going on, and to let off steam if things annoy me. Even though I'm young, free and single (ok, BDSM wise anyway !) I'm still part of the BDSM world, and still have my opinions about many, many things.
I spoke to someone at the weekend, a friend with whom I've been through a hell of a lot. In the past we've been ready to kill each other, love each other, hang each other off a cliff, and we've laughed and cried together. She tried to slam it into my head that although friendships change, it doesn't necessarily make them 'worse'. Just different. After all we've been through, misunderstandings, my screw ups, the lot, she's still the one I feel the 'need' for when I'm in over my head. The one I can trust to tell me the truth I need, whether I want it or not. And she's the one who makes me question myself when I decide to withdraw from my real life friends mainly because of what online people may think or post about me. Who matters more - the people who know me, or the people who'd like to think they do?
I want to get back to that with lessa. Being able to tell each other anything without hiding, and being able to slap each other upside the head when we're being stupid. M:e and I often talk about our joint time with MP, and about what they're doing now. He's a good friend, and we never avoid talking about him, because there's no need. And I tease the crap out of him in the chatroom we go to ! *weg. And he's just as bad, often bringing up the subject of a certain nosy hotel manager in Sidmouth *groans
Lessa and I will get back to that stage. At the moment it feels awkward, but at some point we'll be making fun of him and worrying about him working too much. We lost a lot of our 'sister' relationship lately, and now I've decided not to hide away I'm going to put the time in to try to get that back. Lessa means the absolute world to me.
Anyone who doesn't know me real time, and is thinking of posting detrimental comments about any of us without knowing each and every side of our relationship - don't bother. People who have never met me , and who judge me, can quite frankly go to hell. Even M:e, who knows me better than anyone, doesn't know everything that happened with lessa, DragonM and myself so other people don't stand a cat's chance in hell.
I'm here, my blog's here, and we're staying.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have a batch of lemon drizzle cake needing my attention *winks
kussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
But he'd give all of it up in an instant just to be able to do things for himself. He's really independant, so to have to rely on someone else to do day to day things really grates on him at times. Little things like not being able to take a plate out after he's eaten.
One thing he's really enjoyed though, is the proliferation of baked goods around at the moment. I love baking, and because of how many visitors we're receiving right now, I normally have at least two different kinds of cakes available. Apple crumble sponge, double chocolate muffins, walnut brownies, lemon sponge cake, date and walnut loaf......the man is in heaven !! And so am I....being able to lose myself in my baking, music on full blast (Blame it on the Boogie and Van der Valk are still hot favourites!) and dance away in my kitchen is great. Ohhhh I'm so domesticated ! *grins
I've decided to carry on my blog even though the D/s aspect will from now be pretty much drastically reduced ! I've used my blog in the past as a way to let my friends know how I'm going on, and to let off steam if things annoy me. Even though I'm young, free and single (ok, BDSM wise anyway !) I'm still part of the BDSM world, and still have my opinions about many, many things.
I spoke to someone at the weekend, a friend with whom I've been through a hell of a lot. In the past we've been ready to kill each other, love each other, hang each other off a cliff, and we've laughed and cried together. She tried to slam it into my head that although friendships change, it doesn't necessarily make them 'worse'. Just different. After all we've been through, misunderstandings, my screw ups, the lot, she's still the one I feel the 'need' for when I'm in over my head. The one I can trust to tell me the truth I need, whether I want it or not. And she's the one who makes me question myself when I decide to withdraw from my real life friends mainly because of what online people may think or post about me. Who matters more - the people who know me, or the people who'd like to think they do?
I want to get back to that with lessa. Being able to tell each other anything without hiding, and being able to slap each other upside the head when we're being stupid. M:e and I often talk about our joint time with MP, and about what they're doing now. He's a good friend, and we never avoid talking about him, because there's no need. And I tease the crap out of him in the chatroom we go to ! *weg. And he's just as bad, often bringing up the subject of a certain nosy hotel manager in Sidmouth *groans
Lessa and I will get back to that stage. At the moment it feels awkward, but at some point we'll be making fun of him and worrying about him working too much. We lost a lot of our 'sister' relationship lately, and now I've decided not to hide away I'm going to put the time in to try to get that back. Lessa means the absolute world to me.
Anyone who doesn't know me real time, and is thinking of posting detrimental comments about any of us without knowing each and every side of our relationship - don't bother. People who have never met me , and who judge me, can quite frankly go to hell. Even M:e, who knows me better than anyone, doesn't know everything that happened with lessa, DragonM and myself so other people don't stand a cat's chance in hell.
I'm here, my blog's here, and we're staying.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have a batch of lemon drizzle cake needing my attention *winks
kussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Thursday, February 22, 2007
I don't think there's any doubt in anyone's mind that I love lessa and Dragon M . If there is.....you need hitting over the head with a baseball bat. Really.
I'm doing this publically because I think everyone needs to know where they stand, that's been one of the major issues lately. I feel that everyone knows what's going on except me, I'm tired of deciphering blog postings to try and find out how people are, if they're ok. And lessa is in the totally uneviable position of trying to do the right thing and feeling awful no matter what she does. As of today, I'm no longer DragonM's fox. I'm just fox. I'm proud of the person I'm becoming, and will keep that name. But the cost of anything beyond that is just too high. I'm not prepared to lose good friendships, which is what we're in danger of doing.
DragonM is hopefully still one of my friends, and I hope I've stopped the damage in time to avoid losing lessa as a friend too. I am submissive, and that is something I'll need in my life. But with the right man. No matter how much of a right man DragonM is/was, it was the wrong circumstances. And I'll find someone else. In time.
We've all talked, and hopefully everything will be ok.
We'll see.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I'm doing this publically because I think everyone needs to know where they stand, that's been one of the major issues lately. I feel that everyone knows what's going on except me, I'm tired of deciphering blog postings to try and find out how people are, if they're ok. And lessa is in the totally uneviable position of trying to do the right thing and feeling awful no matter what she does. As of today, I'm no longer DragonM's fox. I'm just fox. I'm proud of the person I'm becoming, and will keep that name. But the cost of anything beyond that is just too high. I'm not prepared to lose good friendships, which is what we're in danger of doing.
DragonM is hopefully still one of my friends, and I hope I've stopped the damage in time to avoid losing lessa as a friend too. I am submissive, and that is something I'll need in my life. But with the right man. No matter how much of a right man DragonM is/was, it was the wrong circumstances. And I'll find someone else. In time.
We've all talked, and hopefully everything will be ok.
We'll see.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Another gem....
Luckily, I am finding humour in the strangest places lately !
After washing my husband's hair this morning, bathing him, dressing him and getting him ready, he settled himself down sooooo, so carefully on his speacially made chair. When I asked if he was ok, he grunted and said, 'you have NO idea how painful it is to sit down when your bum is this bruised !'
*laughs hysterically and runs around the house screaming !
I'd like to think (glaring in his direction) that its the eight inch cut on his backside that is causing quite a bit of the 'discomfort', not the teeny weeny amount of bruising.
I ought to offer to get someone to whip his ass for him, and compare THOSE bruises ! lol.
He's tired, still can't really sleep, but feeling better each day.
kussssssssssssssssssssss
After washing my husband's hair this morning, bathing him, dressing him and getting him ready, he settled himself down sooooo, so carefully on his speacially made chair. When I asked if he was ok, he grunted and said, 'you have NO idea how painful it is to sit down when your bum is this bruised !'
*laughs hysterically and runs around the house screaming !
I'd like to think (glaring in his direction) that its the eight inch cut on his backside that is causing quite a bit of the 'discomfort', not the teeny weeny amount of bruising.
I ought to offer to get someone to whip his ass for him, and compare THOSE bruises ! lol.
He's tired, still can't really sleep, but feeling better each day.
kussssssssssssssssssssss
Monday, February 19, 2007
How the HELL????
How the hell can a man who had a hip replacement on Wednesday be desperate for sex already???
MEN !!!!!
MEN !!!!!
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Ice and Fire
This beautiful picture from Artnam is called 'Ice and Fire' - its a celebration of how two extremes can co-exist.
That feels very much like me at the moment. I'm happily looking after my husband, nursing him, taking care of the kids. At the same time I often think of my submission, play with Sir, and time with Sir just chatting. I obviously look forward to being with him again, but there's no resentment about having to take care of my 'vanilla' issues.
All of us are more than just a label...I'm not 'just a subbie' or 'just a wife' to the exclusion of all else. I'm both of those things, and more.
Ice and fire - in one package.
And each one makes the other even more beautiful.
kussssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Me?? SADISTIC????
My husband came home from hospital today, and is so happy to be back home.
One of the things he has to do as part of his recovery, is to inject himself each day with anti coagulents to help prevent DVT. He's had problems injecting himself though, so the lovely nurse at the hospital asked if anyone at home would be able to do it for him.
'Oh yes,' he replied. 'My wife will be able to do that for me. It will fulfil her sadistic streak!'.
Me?? SADISTIC??
He thinks I can't take pain - he thinks I'm sadistic - I must be damn good at hiding my submissive painslut side !! *weg.
And if he thinks that I'm sadistic.....I could introduce him to a few people who could really surprise him ! Lol.
On the serious side - he's home, he's healing, he's happy. Who could ask for more.
kussssssssssssssssss
One of the things he has to do as part of his recovery, is to inject himself each day with anti coagulents to help prevent DVT. He's had problems injecting himself though, so the lovely nurse at the hospital asked if anyone at home would be able to do it for him.
'Oh yes,' he replied. 'My wife will be able to do that for me. It will fulfil her sadistic streak!'.
Me?? SADISTIC??
He thinks I can't take pain - he thinks I'm sadistic - I must be damn good at hiding my submissive painslut side !! *weg.
And if he thinks that I'm sadistic.....I could introduce him to a few people who could really surprise him ! Lol.
On the serious side - he's home, he's healing, he's happy. Who could ask for more.
kussssssssssssssssss
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Cyber
I went into my usual chatroom tonight just for a few minutes, to try and 'switch off', and I walked into a room of people being derogatory about cyber/online relationships. Pure cyber will never be for me, but the nature of my relationship with Sir , and the fact that we live in different countries means that a fair amount of our time is spent online, or the phone, or texting. That time with him is very valuable.
One of the comments I heard was - 'cyber is telling someone what to do online so that they can pretend to do it'. We keep saying that one of the beautiful aspects of BDSM is its diversity - everyone conducts their relationship in the way that suits them best. I didn't see much of that 'open mindedness' tonight.
If Sir tells me to do something - he knows that I'll do it, and if I don't, I'll tell him, whether its going to bed early or writing a business report. That's because of something basic and vital in any BDSM relationship.
Trust.
Trust applies whether you're 24/7 TPE, living together or pure cyber. I see Sir every few months in real, and I obey him the same at a distance as I do face to face.
After a long day, I really wasn't in the mood for this discussion in room, so I just left.
So many people are open minded.
When it suits them.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
One of the comments I heard was - 'cyber is telling someone what to do online so that they can pretend to do it'. We keep saying that one of the beautiful aspects of BDSM is its diversity - everyone conducts their relationship in the way that suits them best. I didn't see much of that 'open mindedness' tonight.
If Sir tells me to do something - he knows that I'll do it, and if I don't, I'll tell him, whether its going to bed early or writing a business report. That's because of something basic and vital in any BDSM relationship.
Trust.
Trust applies whether you're 24/7 TPE, living together or pure cyber. I see Sir every few months in real, and I obey him the same at a distance as I do face to face.
After a long day, I really wasn't in the mood for this discussion in room, so I just left.
So many people are open minded.
When it suits them.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Just a quickie....
We decided not to bother about valentines day, because of the operation etc.
But my hubby left me an envelope not to be opened 'unless he grows wings'.....grins.....he's an organised soul.
Inside he says he's got all his life assurance policies, his will, and a letter for me just in case the worst should happen when he's in hospital. I know...it's 'only' a hip replacement.
But making sure that everything I'd need is somewhere safe just in case the worst happens, when I'll least be able to deal with things.....one hell of a way to say 'I love you'.
I love you too baby.
You soft sod. Kisssssssssssssss
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
But my hubby left me an envelope not to be opened 'unless he grows wings'.....grins.....he's an organised soul.
Inside he says he's got all his life assurance policies, his will, and a letter for me just in case the worst should happen when he's in hospital. I know...it's 'only' a hip replacement.
But making sure that everything I'd need is somewhere safe just in case the worst happens, when I'll least be able to deal with things.....one hell of a way to say 'I love you'.
I love you too baby.
You soft sod. Kisssssssssssssss
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Tired....
My husband was admitted to hospital today, and is having his hip replacement tomorrow at about midday.
We chose a hospital which admittedly isn't the closest to us, but its reputation for cleanliness and actual surgical procedures is wonderful, so for us to travel a fair way to visit him is worth it.
Because of road works, it took 90 minutes to get there this morning, but it took me two and a half hours to drive back.....I was silly enough not to eat this morning because of nerves, so I got home tired, aching and starving !
So.....to visit him for one hour I'll be driving for four hours - but it's worth every minute for the care he'll get there. My only concern it that the staff are now saying that he's booked to go home on Saturday, whereas the consultant who is doing the operation told him Monday at the earliest. I really don't want him sent home before he's ready just to free up a bed. I guess we'll have to wait and see.
My blog isn't always BDSM - it's my life, and my family is a big part of that.
I think Sir would now tell me to go and eat, cuddle the girls and go to bed and have a good nights sleep, so I think I'll go and do that soon.
He has some good ideas sometimes *smiles.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
We chose a hospital which admittedly isn't the closest to us, but its reputation for cleanliness and actual surgical procedures is wonderful, so for us to travel a fair way to visit him is worth it.
Because of road works, it took 90 minutes to get there this morning, but it took me two and a half hours to drive back.....I was silly enough not to eat this morning because of nerves, so I got home tired, aching and starving !
So.....to visit him for one hour I'll be driving for four hours - but it's worth every minute for the care he'll get there. My only concern it that the staff are now saying that he's booked to go home on Saturday, whereas the consultant who is doing the operation told him Monday at the earliest. I really don't want him sent home before he's ready just to free up a bed. I guess we'll have to wait and see.
My blog isn't always BDSM - it's my life, and my family is a big part of that.
I think Sir would now tell me to go and eat, cuddle the girls and go to bed and have a good nights sleep, so I think I'll go and do that soon.
He has some good ideas sometimes *smiles.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Monday, February 12, 2007
Birthday Candles....
A belated happy birthday to kaya's Master. He celebrated this weekend with a 'birthday buttcake' *grins http://kaya-s.livejournal.com/
I've considered whether to post this or not, but I think I'll be safe - I won't be able to see Sir around His birthday, so it's ok if He gets ideas after seeing this.
You HAVE to admire kaya !!!
*grins
I've considered whether to post this or not, but I think I'll be safe - I won't be able to see Sir around His birthday, so it's ok if He gets ideas after seeing this.
You HAVE to admire kaya !!!
*grins
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Natural beauty....
Next week my darling sister will be enjoying a sauna, spa, and various other watery fun, with Sir, M:e and guests *grins. After the stressful few weeks they've all had, I can't think of a better place for them to go.
knuffels and kusssssssssssssssssss
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Communication....
My husband went to the pub last night on his usual Friday night out with the lads, for the last time before his operation. Me being me, I didn't go to bed until I'd seen him walking down the street on his way back home. And then slipping into bed and 'playing dead' because it wouldn't do for him to know I was concerned enough about him to stand at my bedroom window needing to know that he was safe before I could go to sleep, now would it? *smiles
Sometimes, it really hits me how bad his walking is because of his hip. Last night was one of those times. I really can't describe actually here how he walks.....maybe saying that his limp can be so bad that it looks like one leg is 6 inches shorter than the other. The consultant last week told him that his hip is basically shattered - that he must have an incredible pain threshold to be able to actually walk. His reply? 'Thank god it's not my wife - she can't take pain at all.'
*speechless!*
We've had big problems in the past, nearly ending in divorce, but we won through. We found ways to communicate with each other, taking into account how different we are in this. Communication is also a major issue in my BDSM relationship, but Sir and I have overcome many of my insecurities in being able to talk about things that trouble me. I can now tell him why I react to a certain issue, what I think lies behind it and why it upsets me/frustrates me/why I avoid a certain type of 'play' like the plague. And it still amazes me that I can do this.
We've found what works for us - it doesn't mean that is right for us is right for everyone.
This next couple of months are going to be hard in many ways - my husband healing, in physio, trying to work from home. I won't get the contact I usually get with Sir because I won't be available as much - my husband needs me, and I'll be there. And Sir wouldn't expect anything less from me - to be there for my family. We'll still talk, and text, and IM, and use our established ways of communicating - just not so often. And having my hubby in the house 24/7 for at least six weeks means no 'play' for that long !! *sobs*
But...it doesn't change things with Sir and I. He's still me Sir, I'm still His fox. Less contact doesn't mean less submission. I'm His fox 24/7, regardless of what I'm doing, whether I'm in sweet agony from tacks in my bra or driving my husband to phsyio.
To all of us - lessa, Sir and myself - family is so important. We love the way that Sir is with His family, it's part of what makes Him so special. And the same applies in reverse. He loves how lessa is with her family, with the recent wonderful new addition to the clan. And He loves my relationship with my kids, and knows that I will look after my husband totally while he's recovering.
He wouldn't expect any less from His slave or His fox. It's part of who we are.
And He loves every part *smiles.
kussssssssssss
Sometimes, it really hits me how bad his walking is because of his hip. Last night was one of those times. I really can't describe actually here how he walks.....maybe saying that his limp can be so bad that it looks like one leg is 6 inches shorter than the other. The consultant last week told him that his hip is basically shattered - that he must have an incredible pain threshold to be able to actually walk. His reply? 'Thank god it's not my wife - she can't take pain at all.'
*speechless!*
We've had big problems in the past, nearly ending in divorce, but we won through. We found ways to communicate with each other, taking into account how different we are in this. Communication is also a major issue in my BDSM relationship, but Sir and I have overcome many of my insecurities in being able to talk about things that trouble me. I can now tell him why I react to a certain issue, what I think lies behind it and why it upsets me/frustrates me/why I avoid a certain type of 'play' like the plague. And it still amazes me that I can do this.
We've found what works for us - it doesn't mean that is right for us is right for everyone.
This next couple of months are going to be hard in many ways - my husband healing, in physio, trying to work from home. I won't get the contact I usually get with Sir because I won't be available as much - my husband needs me, and I'll be there. And Sir wouldn't expect anything less from me - to be there for my family. We'll still talk, and text, and IM, and use our established ways of communicating - just not so often. And having my hubby in the house 24/7 for at least six weeks means no 'play' for that long !! *sobs*
But...it doesn't change things with Sir and I. He's still me Sir, I'm still His fox. Less contact doesn't mean less submission. I'm His fox 24/7, regardless of what I'm doing, whether I'm in sweet agony from tacks in my bra or driving my husband to phsyio.
To all of us - lessa, Sir and myself - family is so important. We love the way that Sir is with His family, it's part of what makes Him so special. And the same applies in reverse. He loves how lessa is with her family, with the recent wonderful new addition to the clan. And He loves my relationship with my kids, and knows that I will look after my husband totally while he's recovering.
He wouldn't expect any less from His slave or His fox. It's part of who we are.
And He loves every part *smiles.
kussssssssssss
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