Just recently I've been fully fired up for a 'self audit' of my life. So much has settled down now, things that in the past caused me problems or self doubt and now a great deal of that is on a more even keel.
As promised in a much earlier posting, I've been far more open to new experiences, to learning new things - including my speedboat ride and the dreaded Vogel Rok rollercoaster in Holland !! I've tried a great many things that I wouldn't normally have done - an indication of my growing self confidence, I believe.
Last week I wrote a list of things I want to do.....or want to be. A wish list, if you like. They included serious things as well as more frivolous, but all of them important to me. Some are long term goals, others more immediate ones. But even the long term goals give me something to aim for and work towards. I was 'requested' to send a copy to a certain Dutch Gentleman, so a copy swiftly found it's way to Him, along with mutterings from me of 'don't laugh !!!'.
He didn't laugh of course - He supports 100% (no, not 110%). He said He loves the list, and I think we'll have quite a discussion about it at some point. I've now broken the list down into smaller segments, including details of how I'm going to achieve, what I can do already to work towards a particular goal.
I've only really included things that I can control to a great extent. Things that are beyond my control aren't on the list - I won't include things that depend on other people. But the things that I have included will keep me busy for quite a while *smiles.
I've gained so much self confidence in the past few months - time to put some of it to use and address my wishes.
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7 comments:
*hugs her sis*
wowwwwwwwww, what a great idea.. I have some things in my head... and DragonM has some things for me in his head... but writing it down makes it so much more real.. :-)
kussssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
sends a hug....it must be the season for 'life audits'....you know I've just done mine.... smiles
I know all about your passion for lists (especially at Christmas!) and, like lessa, I think this one is a great idea for you. I saw for myself when I visited how much more settled you were, how much more confidence you had and its fantastic. To witness that as someone who I know you believed sometimes created some of those problems and doubts you felt made it even more wonderful to see.
Like you and lessa, I also have my 'wish list'..... and although some of what's on it does include a few things which are very much out of my control... things which can only happen with the help of others....there is evidence already that those things will come nicely to fruition. And if despite our best efforts they don't..........well, in the words of Doris Day..... !!
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Good luck and success with your list clare. And that things come out the way you wish them for.....
huggss my lovely Dutch sis - I love my 'lists'....it helps me to focus, and believe me - I have a lot to focus on *smiles. Especially since Someone added things to the list !! *mutters about your Master being a hard task master !! *grijns en kussssssssss
huggss my lovely Welsh sis - (oh we're so multi cultural!!). To a great extent I created my own problems because of the way I viewed things. And as far as me not having things I didn't control on my list - two things have been added. The list wasn't entirely 'honest' without them.
musi - hugs and thank you. I have a lot of work ahead of me, butlots of support too *smiles
2 things you added... OK.. now you do have me curious....
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Dear Clare, this sounds sooooooo familiar (am I writing this good? lol), my Master is not asking me to make lists in any way, it is stupid how one has to have a list, and another person does not need it, just because it is growing in a natural way, you know what I mean?
That is how I am, working from the heart, I know my wishes, still learning new things to, so the wishes are growing to, and well... Some of them I have to do on my own, like just now, taking out my wisdom tooth last friday, do you know how long it took for me to really go up there and to let it happen?
there is a history afcourse that I was traumatised, and with my Merlin, we worked on this one, but it was just yesterday I was realizing HOW HE DID THIS, I was afraid for the needles, and in the past 5 months He never uses a needle on me, nor made me afraid of it, yes we talked about it in many ways, but in a way that I was taking it all in but I know He is laughing so hard now, because I had one wish...
that He would be with me when I had to go, BUT, He could not come around to come en go with me to hold my hand, and that hurt me in a way, I even was planning to make an new appointment, but then I thought, it is now or never!
I went, it went well, more then well even, and yesterday, I knew how He made me do this on my own, without Him at my side...
Just you go girl and work on that list, you have back up enough ;-) Just like I have :D And the list of people I learn to know now? Is still growing and growing, and it does only good to me.
Before I go off to take my rest now, I came also to tell you that I have put up an update for you! In the same part as you already put up your thoughts ;-) Just see the update, then you know and see what I meant with the words I have written down for your DragonM Sir ;-)
Hugssssssss from me to You clare!
hugs Morgaine-
I've always been one of those people who likes lists - they help me to focus my mind on tasks I have to do (or Christmas presents I have to buy! *winks at m:e).
There's so many things in life that I'd like to do. I'd hate to get to retirement and think...I wish I'd done that. The list is also a reminder of things I need to work on, for example having more confidence.
I think when you lead a busy life, kids, family, work etc, it's easy to forget that you have goals too. And the fact that someone knows your goals too makes them more real. It makes them more like true targets than pipe dreams. And the fact that it's DragonM Sir and lessa that have seen my goals, hell !....I'm so much closer because they will help to push me towards them.
Grins...one of my goals is to have a gorgeous hairstyle - one that really suits me. *weg*.....I'm considering a crew cut !!! *hides*
Thank you for posting the 'after' pics on your blog. Its lovely to see, and must be fantastic to know that the important Man in your life actually cut it for you. Lucky girl.
huggsss and a big smile
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