I’ve shared some great times on Positive Submission, and some not so good times. But sadly, it doesn’t feel like the home it used to. I don’t feel as comfortable as I always have before.
So, it’s time for me to move home.
I have a new blog ‘Embracing my Submission’ where I plan to explore my submission, and share my life further, hopefully taking old friends along with me to my new abode. So please bookmark and update any links to me.
www.embracingmysubmission.blogspot.com
Thank you everyone for all everything we’ve shared on Positive Submission. I have an amazing future in so many ways, and hope to share that with you all too. I will be keeping this site live, because I do have good memories here. On my new site I intend to be more 'me', not try to match people's expectations of me.
May we share much more on ‘Embracing my Submission’.
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Monday, April 23, 2007
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Happiness is.....
Today....
** playing with the girls
** older daughter having a haircut and colour that she loves!
** younger daughter going to a birthday party and having a wonderful time
** serving roasted salmon with a honey glaze, garlic italian roast potatoes, followed by the most gorgeous italian chocolate truffle torte
** receiving a wonderful phone call from two great friends in Canada
** receiving another wonderful phone call from a certain Someone who is away for the weekend on a Scout camping trip but was thinking of me and wanted to say hi
......and knowing that tomorrow will be more of the same
*smiles
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** playing with the girls
** older daughter having a haircut and colour that she loves!
** younger daughter going to a birthday party and having a wonderful time
** serving roasted salmon with a honey glaze, garlic italian roast potatoes, followed by the most gorgeous italian chocolate truffle torte
** receiving a wonderful phone call from two great friends in Canada
** receiving another wonderful phone call from a certain Someone who is away for the weekend on a Scout camping trip but was thinking of me and wanted to say hi
......and knowing that tomorrow will be more of the same
*smiles
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Thursday, April 19, 2007
Self confidence....
I had a lovely talk with a friend last night, and caught up on lots of news with each other. One piece of news that I passed on to her, which I hadn't mentioned here was that I'd entered a 'Serve' competition last week. The chat room/information group to which I belong ran the competition, hoping to bring back the pride in online serve writing, which is often made fun of.
Yes - it's cyber - and I know too many people who will scorn that. But it's a beautiful way of expressing oneself - the same as we do in our blogs. An online serve isn't supposed to be 'practical and real'......it's more about the expression, the description, the grace portrayed.
There were about ten or eleven serves entered, all performed in the room in front of about forty people. A couple of Doms did serves, a male subbie, some gor serves, and me !! I was just proud that I entered. For me to have the self confidence to do that in a public chat room is a big step.
I performed the serve for a certain Someone - he apparently sat there gob smacked - speechless - open mouthed at it (way to shut a Dom up !!). It wasn't Gor - it was 'me', incorporating things that were personal to us both after our last meet. After the serve, everyone in room was applauding, congratulating etc etc.....one Dom even gave me a standing ovation *grins.
And I won.
And no-one was more surprised than me.
I was so proud just to have entered - winning was the icing on the cake.
*smiles
On the home front, hubby went back to work two weeks ago, then the girls had their easter holidays, so for the last ten weeks I've had somebody at home with me during the day.
On Tuesday the girls went back to school, and the house feels so empty !!!
It's not as if I'm bored (on the very rare occasions when I have nothing to do, I find something) but the house feels like a ghost ship. I've taken to bringing the dogs upstairs for company when I'm in my office - one lies under the desk on top of my feet, the other across the doorway. I think it's a canine conspiracy to makedamn sure they know where I am - lying on my feet so I can't stand up, blocking the door in case I try to make a getaway!!
I'll get used to it again, but at the moment it feels so strange.
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Wednesday, April 18, 2007
Blogging Awards
'clare sure does belong on this list! We've laughed together, cried together. She did help me to learn so much and she made me think about myself. What I could and could not do. I love her humor, the way she cares. I think clare might be considered a bit hot sometimes by some people, but there is a lot of sweet beneath that hot. I think people can learn from her, she is a fighter and that is a quality I love!'
smiles...lessa nominated me for the Thinking Bloggers award on Monday, and I'm very proud that she did. Bu I have to admit that I had a chuckle at people thinking I'ma bit hot !! *looks down at the pegged breasts photo below....hmmm...yes...well.....lol.
To those mentioned next, if you wish to continue the chain, here are the rules:
1. If, and only if, you get tagged, write a post with links to five blogs that make you think.
2. Link to this post - http://www.thethinkingblog.com/2007/02/thinking-blogger-awards_11.html so that people can easily find the exact origin of the meme.
3. Optional: Proudly display the ‘Thinking Blogger Award’ with a link to the post that you wrote (silver or gold, your choice)
I'm only going to nominate two blogs, because the others which I read regularly which haven't already been nominated are on a private webring, so not generally accesible.
The two Im going to nominate are kaya and subtle slave. Both incredibly strong strong women, both living with their Master 24/7, but such amazingly different people.
kaya has take us through a pain and pleasure filled life, and also shown the depth of the love and commitment in her relationship, and shared day to day struggles with us. subtle slave has documented struggles, joy, the pleasures (?) *grins of labia rings and padlocks.........and given a wonderful insight to her life.
Those are two of the public blogs that I check into every day - they help me to realise how different all situations, and all people are, and it's lovely to see a regular dose of real life BDSM.....not a theory on how 'its supposed to be'.
Than you both for the joy you've given me in reading your blogs, and thank you lessa for the nomination. It meant a lot.
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Sunday, April 15, 2007
And the correct answer is?????
Ok.....what is the correct response when your 44 year old, totally nilla husband asks for a special present for his 50th birthday....
....a threesome with another girl?????
a) Grin and say, 'oh yes !! I've loved it every other time I've done it !!'
b) Bring out an address book and flick through it, saying 'nope....she doesn't like giving blow jobs....nope.....she was too shy last time'
c) Blush like crazy, mutter about you wouldn't know how on EARTH to arrange somthing like that and find some really urgent cleaning that needs doing somewhere well away from him !!
Need a clue which one I used??? *grins
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....a threesome with another girl?????
a) Grin and say, 'oh yes !! I've loved it every other time I've done it !!'
b) Bring out an address book and flick through it, saying 'nope....she doesn't like giving blow jobs....nope.....she was too shy last time'
c) Blush like crazy, mutter about you wouldn't know how on EARTH to arrange somthing like that and find some really urgent cleaning that needs doing somewhere well away from him !!
Need a clue which one I used??? *grins
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Friday, April 06, 2007
Tuesday, April 03, 2007
Return to normality....
Hubby went back to work today. It's hard to believe that its seven weeks tomorrow since he had his hip replacement.
I was worried about how we'd cope together - we knew it would be at least six weeks, nd we're not used to being together 24/7 like that. But I have to say, it's been great. We've got closer, we only had one argument in all that time, and we're far sronger for having been through it.
And I'll admit - I really, really missed him today.
We met with my daughter's school on Friday- and a breakthrough !! They're doing an enormous amount to get her the support she needs through her GCSEs this summer. The deputy head to whom I spoke actually gave me the answers that I've been trying to get for months. She was so happy as we left the school....she burst out crying.
And I'm currently planning my next visit with my friend.......I think it's going to be a lot different this time *smiles. My ass is still sore and bruised with lots of welts - I'm amazed that I can still feel it, I rarely get any 'memory pain' *grins. I have some beautiful pictures of our play session, but we're hoping to do more next time. We got so into the play that we forgot to actually take the photos !! We're planning on visiting a friend, so will be a lovely day trip, I get to take a picnic again (strawberries and cream have been requested!!) and we may be making a slight detour *weg.
Things are pretty much on an even keel right now, and I'm fervently hoping that it will stay that way for some time to come.
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I was worried about how we'd cope together - we knew it would be at least six weeks, nd we're not used to being together 24/7 like that. But I have to say, it's been great. We've got closer, we only had one argument in all that time, and we're far sronger for having been through it.
And I'll admit - I really, really missed him today.
We met with my daughter's school on Friday- and a breakthrough !! They're doing an enormous amount to get her the support she needs through her GCSEs this summer. The deputy head to whom I spoke actually gave me the answers that I've been trying to get for months. She was so happy as we left the school....she burst out crying.
And I'm currently planning my next visit with my friend.......I think it's going to be a lot different this time *smiles. My ass is still sore and bruised with lots of welts - I'm amazed that I can still feel it, I rarely get any 'memory pain' *grins. I have some beautiful pictures of our play session, but we're hoping to do more next time. We got so into the play that we forgot to actually take the photos !! We're planning on visiting a friend, so will be a lovely day trip, I get to take a picnic again (strawberries and cream have been requested!!) and we may be making a slight detour *weg.
Things are pretty much on an even keel right now, and I'm fervently hoping that it will stay that way for some time to come.
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Friday, March 30, 2007
Play time....
Last night was my meeting with my friend....and the nerves and excitement got worse as the day wore on *smiles.
We ended up meeting earlier than expected and we decided to spend the night together too, instead of me going home then coming back again this morning. So a lovely session from about 4pm til the early hours of the morning with a break for the hamper that I'd taken, and then starting again at about 6am for a few hours.
It was heaven. Everything that I love, plus new things I hadn't yet tried. And photos too *smiles. Flogging, caning, cuffs, collar, cropping, candles, pegs, chains, a rope bra, clingfilm, a hair bondage, cigarettes, latex gloves....(oh WOW!!!!!), spreader bar, pussy and breast torture........................I lost track of how many times, and how many positions I was tied in.
One of the most intense things was having play done on me with a latex glove covered hand over my mouth....unable to speak, ordered not to move or cum until he said - when I was finally, finally given permission to move and to 'release' it was exquisite.....absolute heaven.
I also had a 'no mercy' caning. With a thin, extremely whippy cane - and they're not my favorite toy. But I'd asked for it - and once I'd agreed to it again - and set up safety signs in case of emergency - I got it. A full strength caning that left me actually asking for a gag - not something I do. I took his best shots, and apparently really surprised him at how well I took them and presented myself for the next strike. And I have absolutely wonderful welts to show for it *smiles.
I also got a barrage of 'gifts' from Dom friends. *grins. My first of many spanking sessions included, 'and these are from XXX.......these are from YYY.......and ZZZ asked me to give you ten of my hardest !!'
He played very hard, gave wonderful sensual play too, great aftercare and took no nonsense from me - those cheeky remarks that just slip out (eg oh poor BOY! when he hurt his hand!) were swiftly dealt with.
But we had so much fun - laughing, playing, teasing, begging (me, not him *winks)......and so many more things to try on our next meet *smiles.
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We ended up meeting earlier than expected and we decided to spend the night together too, instead of me going home then coming back again this morning. So a lovely session from about 4pm til the early hours of the morning with a break for the hamper that I'd taken, and then starting again at about 6am for a few hours.
It was heaven. Everything that I love, plus new things I hadn't yet tried. And photos too *smiles. Flogging, caning, cuffs, collar, cropping, candles, pegs, chains, a rope bra, clingfilm, a hair bondage, cigarettes, latex gloves....(oh WOW!!!!!), spreader bar, pussy and breast torture........................I lost track of how many times, and how many positions I was tied in.
One of the most intense things was having play done on me with a latex glove covered hand over my mouth....unable to speak, ordered not to move or cum until he said - when I was finally, finally given permission to move and to 'release' it was exquisite.....absolute heaven.
I also had a 'no mercy' caning. With a thin, extremely whippy cane - and they're not my favorite toy. But I'd asked for it - and once I'd agreed to it again - and set up safety signs in case of emergency - I got it. A full strength caning that left me actually asking for a gag - not something I do. I took his best shots, and apparently really surprised him at how well I took them and presented myself for the next strike. And I have absolutely wonderful welts to show for it *smiles.
I also got a barrage of 'gifts' from Dom friends. *grins. My first of many spanking sessions included, 'and these are from XXX.......these are from YYY.......and ZZZ asked me to give you ten of my hardest !!'
He played very hard, gave wonderful sensual play too, great aftercare and took no nonsense from me - those cheeky remarks that just slip out (eg oh poor BOY! when he hurt his hand!) were swiftly dealt with.
But we had so much fun - laughing, playing, teasing, begging (me, not him *winks)......and so many more things to try on our next meet *smiles.
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Exams.....
The exams that hubby and I sat last weekend, for pub licensing etc...
WE PASSED THEM ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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WE PASSED THEM ALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Wednesday, March 28, 2007
My little Star
My baby performed in her recorder festival last night - and she did sooo well !
Fifteen schools took part, and they were joined by an internationally famous recorder player/artist - it was sheer joy to see her so proud and happy on that stage.
But do you know what I admire most about her? Her patience. They had to practice for eight hours yesterday, and rehearse the show, and a lot of that time was actually just sitting there listening to the speeches, and to other schools performing. She did incredibly well, and I'm so proud of her.
Her mother, however, does not share that same patience. This past week, I've had so much going on real time, that I haven't had much time to think about my upcoming meet with my friend. But now....it's tomorrow!!
I have always got really nervous and excited before a meet - whether it's someone I belonged to, or a first meet. Even before going to a play party with a group of friends, including my Master or Mentor - friends have seen how incredibly nervous I get.
I think I'll clean the entire house today - just to get my mind off the meet !! I've already started packing my bag, and have a few more things to add to it.
Grins...wondering...should I pack the painkillers??
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Fifteen schools took part, and they were joined by an internationally famous recorder player/artist - it was sheer joy to see her so proud and happy on that stage.
But do you know what I admire most about her? Her patience. They had to practice for eight hours yesterday, and rehearse the show, and a lot of that time was actually just sitting there listening to the speeches, and to other schools performing. She did incredibly well, and I'm so proud of her.
Her mother, however, does not share that same patience. This past week, I've had so much going on real time, that I haven't had much time to think about my upcoming meet with my friend. But now....it's tomorrow!!
I have always got really nervous and excited before a meet - whether it's someone I belonged to, or a first meet. Even before going to a play party with a group of friends, including my Master or Mentor - friends have seen how incredibly nervous I get.
I think I'll clean the entire house today - just to get my mind off the meet !! I've already started packing my bag, and have a few more things to add to it.
Grins...wondering...should I pack the painkillers??
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Monday, March 26, 2007
Exams over
Exams are over and we just have to wait for the results now.
The weekend was pretty hard. Ok...really hard. Having to ferry the girls to various relatives while we were at the course, the course itself, the homework, the revision. I'm feeling sooo tired at the minute. Hubby is the same. So at least I know it's not just me being lazy, lol.
The sexy thoughts turn up at the strangest times ! In the coure we were being advised to use latex gloves in certin health situations.....and I got all hot and bothered at the thought of the gloves. Having the tutor point me out to the class as being confident, friendly, outgoing....'and in total control of any situation'....'she will not allow anyone else to dominate a situation'.......they never did understand why I laughed so much at that !
It's only three days till my meet with my friend now, and I've come to the conclusion that all Doms are evil when it comes to teasing a girl about impending play. He has the pre-requisite sadisic streak (I like my sadists) but a very caring side too, leaving me lovely messages to come home to after my exams. It's great - no pretending, no wondering if he really means what he says, no wondering if someone else is really ok with what's happening.
And I'm counting down the days !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I might even.....contrary to what the tutor said......allow him to dominate the situation *big grins and hides !!!!!
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UPDATE - erm.......he WILL dominate the situation.....and my ass is on the line for that comment !!! smiles sweetly and blows a kiss
The weekend was pretty hard. Ok...really hard. Having to ferry the girls to various relatives while we were at the course, the course itself, the homework, the revision. I'm feeling sooo tired at the minute. Hubby is the same. So at least I know it's not just me being lazy, lol.
The sexy thoughts turn up at the strangest times ! In the coure we were being advised to use latex gloves in certin health situations.....and I got all hot and bothered at the thought of the gloves. Having the tutor point me out to the class as being confident, friendly, outgoing....'and in total control of any situation'....'she will not allow anyone else to dominate a situation'.......they never did understand why I laughed so much at that !
It's only three days till my meet with my friend now, and I've come to the conclusion that all Doms are evil when it comes to teasing a girl about impending play. He has the pre-requisite sadisic streak (I like my sadists) but a very caring side too, leaving me lovely messages to come home to after my exams. It's great - no pretending, no wondering if he really means what he says, no wondering if someone else is really ok with what's happening.
And I'm counting down the days !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I might even.....contrary to what the tutor said......allow him to dominate the situation *big grins and hides !!!!!
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UPDATE - erm.......he WILL dominate the situation.....and my ass is on the line for that comment !!! smiles sweetly and blows a kiss
Saturday, March 24, 2007
Cuddles needed !!
Today and tomorrow I'm studying for and sitting the exams to get a licensing qualification which I need to be able to manage a pub. I've been revising for ages, but I have to say that the exams were a lot harder than I expected.
Apparently the exam is the worst that the invigilators have seen yet...very ambiguous questions with no definitive right or wrong all down to opinion, and these exams are supposed to be a straight forward answer - its about law.
I have to wait 7 - 10 days to find out the results.....I can only keep my fingers crossed now.
All day studying, with them ramming info into our heads......only one break for lunch...I'm exhausted !! And the same again tomorrow.
An early night for me I think, after a long cuddle with my babies.
And my husband. *smiles
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Apparently the exam is the worst that the invigilators have seen yet...very ambiguous questions with no definitive right or wrong all down to opinion, and these exams are supposed to be a straight forward answer - its about law.
I have to wait 7 - 10 days to find out the results.....I can only keep my fingers crossed now.
All day studying, with them ramming info into our heads......only one break for lunch...I'm exhausted !! And the same again tomorrow.
An early night for me I think, after a long cuddle with my babies.
And my husband. *smiles
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Wednesday, March 21, 2007
Tired...
I'll admit to feeling tired lately. Looking after hubby, revising for my licensee training course this weekend, the usual family things, extra dance/exercise sessions....today I ended up in bed for quite a while as I think things had probably built up on me.
The ongoing fight with my daughter's school shows no signs of ending - it's given me such a mistrust of educational establishments and sometimes made me feel sick to the stomach.
On the bright side, next week I'm attending my younger daughter's first recorder festival. My older girl has done this for several years, but this will be my baby's debut *smile. Hubby goes to see his consultant on Tuesday when he will hopefully get good news about his hip - he's done so well in his recovery. He's currently walking about a mile, four times a day. Truly unbelievable.
And I also meet a friend next week for coffee and play. Someone I've known for a long time in our chatrooms, we've planned a meet...so definitely something to look forward to *smiles. And the day after our meet, I'm expected to 'sit down' for conferences with various members of management at my daughters review day !! For once, the pained expression on my face won't be at hearing their excuses - it will be from a sore ass!!! Ohhh..counting down the days ! *grins
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The ongoing fight with my daughter's school shows no signs of ending - it's given me such a mistrust of educational establishments and sometimes made me feel sick to the stomach.
On the bright side, next week I'm attending my younger daughter's first recorder festival. My older girl has done this for several years, but this will be my baby's debut *smile. Hubby goes to see his consultant on Tuesday when he will hopefully get good news about his hip - he's done so well in his recovery. He's currently walking about a mile, four times a day. Truly unbelievable.
And I also meet a friend next week for coffee and play. Someone I've known for a long time in our chatrooms, we've planned a meet...so definitely something to look forward to *smiles. And the day after our meet, I'm expected to 'sit down' for conferences with various members of management at my daughters review day !! For once, the pained expression on my face won't be at hearing their excuses - it will be from a sore ass!!! Ohhh..counting down the days ! *grins
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Sunday, March 18, 2007
Happy Mothers' Day
Happy Mothers' Day to everyone !!
I've had a busy but lovely day so far, visiting family, time with the girls etc. They've bought me flowers and one of my favourite perfumes *smiles. I'm a lucky woman.
We went to visit my Aunty today. She was never able to have kids, so for as long as I can remember I've bought her Mothers' Day cards and presents. She's always been there for me ...a lovely lady. She still can't accept sometimes that I'm 'all grown up' - she'll often remind me to make sure seat belts are fastened on the girls, and that I should wear a woollen vest in winter (I don't think silk basques and bodices would quite match her expectations!!).
I played badminton this morning (sooo tempted to call REDREDRED after 45 minutes!!), then went visiting. Two more visits left and a family party that I'm leaving for in a few minutes. And in my case, family parties mean extra baking *grins - I'm always the one nominated to bring cakes and desserts!!! *laughing
We all went to see my hubby's nan yesterday. She's in a nursing home, very frail, and occsionally on a drip. To see him with her - how he talks with her, cares for her - makes my heart flip. He's wonderful like that. I really can't explain how he makes me feel, when I see him with her. I think in any relationship, seeing the softer side of someone helps you to apreciate them more....seeing their 'whole self'. All the men with whom I've been involved in D/s have had massive hearts when it comes to their families, and that's one of the things that makes them so special.
So I'm off now, to a party where the kids will all throw themselves at us (5 nieces and nephews), my sisters in law will get tipsy, and the men will all discuss football and their shared views on Man U !!
And I wouldn't change it for the world. *smiles softly.
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I've had a busy but lovely day so far, visiting family, time with the girls etc. They've bought me flowers and one of my favourite perfumes *smiles. I'm a lucky woman.
We went to visit my Aunty today. She was never able to have kids, so for as long as I can remember I've bought her Mothers' Day cards and presents. She's always been there for me ...a lovely lady. She still can't accept sometimes that I'm 'all grown up' - she'll often remind me to make sure seat belts are fastened on the girls, and that I should wear a woollen vest in winter (I don't think silk basques and bodices would quite match her expectations!!).
I played badminton this morning (sooo tempted to call REDREDRED after 45 minutes!!), then went visiting. Two more visits left and a family party that I'm leaving for in a few minutes. And in my case, family parties mean extra baking *grins - I'm always the one nominated to bring cakes and desserts!!! *laughing
We all went to see my hubby's nan yesterday. She's in a nursing home, very frail, and occsionally on a drip. To see him with her - how he talks with her, cares for her - makes my heart flip. He's wonderful like that. I really can't explain how he makes me feel, when I see him with her. I think in any relationship, seeing the softer side of someone helps you to apreciate them more....seeing their 'whole self'. All the men with whom I've been involved in D/s have had massive hearts when it comes to their families, and that's one of the things that makes them so special.
So I'm off now, to a party where the kids will all throw themselves at us (5 nieces and nephews), my sisters in law will get tipsy, and the men will all discuss football and their shared views on Man U !!
And I wouldn't change it for the world. *smiles softly.
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Monday, March 12, 2007
Get a life
I occasionally - very rarely - post on a blog I visit. To post on there I created a account in the name Dragonsfox.
Since DragonM and I parted company, I have posted maybe twice on that blog, the entries appearing under the original Dragonsfox nick. This automatically happens, I just sign the posts as 'Clare'.
I've been approached tonight to ask if its true that I'm still posting under that name, because lessa's friends have seen it.....and been asking her about it.
Get a life please.
From what I understand, people were going to lessa and questioning her about whether her master now has two slaves back in autumn last year - that upset her then.
I took a lot of rubbish off people while I was Dragon's fox. I certainly don't intend taking it now. I'm also now free to say what I feel on the blog rather than try to keep everyone happy, and be told not to post 'to keep the peace'.
I will not be governed by other people regarding what I write on my blog. I will certainly not be criticised about posts going up in my old name, by people who don't have the gall to speak to me directly about it. If lessa's friends have anything to say about it, then speak to me....don't hide behind DragonM, and leave lessa the hell alone.
Since DragonM and I parted company, I have posted maybe twice on that blog, the entries appearing under the original Dragonsfox nick. This automatically happens, I just sign the posts as 'Clare'.
I've been approached tonight to ask if its true that I'm still posting under that name, because lessa's friends have seen it.....and been asking her about it.
Get a life please.
From what I understand, people were going to lessa and questioning her about whether her master now has two slaves back in autumn last year - that upset her then.
I took a lot of rubbish off people while I was Dragon's fox. I certainly don't intend taking it now. I'm also now free to say what I feel on the blog rather than try to keep everyone happy, and be told not to post 'to keep the peace'.
I will not be governed by other people regarding what I write on my blog. I will certainly not be criticised about posts going up in my old name, by people who don't have the gall to speak to me directly about it. If lessa's friends have anything to say about it, then speak to me....don't hide behind DragonM, and leave lessa the hell alone.
Happy Birthday....
....to a very special friend, who hopefully knows how very much they are loved by me and my babies.
Great big hugs from us all, until we see you again.
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Friday, March 09, 2007
Manners....
I was brought up to use manners...please, thank you...and not to swear. I've brought my children up in the same way.
In chat the other day, I sat watching the scroll and realised just how many people swear as readily as they say hi. And I'm sorry to say that the worst offenders were the girls.
It seems that a lot of the 'newer' submissives seem to think that they need to show how rough and tough they can be, what strong women they are. They tell Doms to f*** off, call other submissives bitches and c***s, and basically scream at people. Their message is meant to be, 'I'm a strong woman, not a doormat, it takes a strong man to make me submit'. I think the message is slightly 'off-key'.
I swear sometimes, yes, but rarely, and only if Im really, really angry (or in play when I'm really taking a hard session). To my mind, projecting that sort of image is letting yourself down - it shows that you have little respect for others or for yourself. It only brings into question the size of your vocabulary, if you have to resort to swearing to make your point. If you're owned or with a Dom - it also reflects badly on him. I'd want to make my Dom proud of me - and swearing at everyone really doesn't do that.
It's sad that so many of the newer submissives seem to want to project this image. I remember many months ago reading a blog littered with profanities - I hated it. I can't understand why someone would portray themselves like that.
Maybe I'm getting old *smiles.
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In chat the other day, I sat watching the scroll and realised just how many people swear as readily as they say hi. And I'm sorry to say that the worst offenders were the girls.
It seems that a lot of the 'newer' submissives seem to think that they need to show how rough and tough they can be, what strong women they are. They tell Doms to f*** off, call other submissives bitches and c***s, and basically scream at people. Their message is meant to be, 'I'm a strong woman, not a doormat, it takes a strong man to make me submit'. I think the message is slightly 'off-key'.
I swear sometimes, yes, but rarely, and only if Im really, really angry (or in play when I'm really taking a hard session). To my mind, projecting that sort of image is letting yourself down - it shows that you have little respect for others or for yourself. It only brings into question the size of your vocabulary, if you have to resort to swearing to make your point. If you're owned or with a Dom - it also reflects badly on him. I'd want to make my Dom proud of me - and swearing at everyone really doesn't do that.
It's sad that so many of the newer submissives seem to want to project this image. I remember many months ago reading a blog littered with profanities - I hated it. I can't understand why someone would portray themselves like that.
Maybe I'm getting old *smiles.
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Education
My 13 year old daughter has been studying for her GCSE maths exam - 2 years early. She's already doing BTEC in Performing arts (yes, she is a drama queen!!) and GNVQ in Technology, and now the school has decided that the more able kids hsould take an extra exam early.
My friends know how highly I value education, but I'm increasingly concerned that she is being overloaded with work at such an early age. My main concern is that she's basically 'self taught' on the GCSE Maths - three 25 minute lessons for each module of coursework, no extra help available, then about 40 hours of working at home to complete each section. And that's a module a week.
I'm angry that parents weren't consulted in this. It's our children who are spending each night working on the coursework until 10pm, and all weekend. It's us that are seeing how frustrated and worried our kids are getting.
I've also been told that even if she passes the GCSE this year, she is still required by law to study maths until she leaves school.....why????? Once she passes the exam, further curriculum time seems rather superfluous.
I'm in discussion with the school now, to ascertain how much help they can give her in the GCSE Maths....they should at least be providing a good grounding in each module before sending the kids home to self study. Sorting out issues like this is the only time I get anywhere near to being Domme....mutters.
Anyone got a flogger I can borrow for the head mistress????
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
My friends know how highly I value education, but I'm increasingly concerned that she is being overloaded with work at such an early age. My main concern is that she's basically 'self taught' on the GCSE Maths - three 25 minute lessons for each module of coursework, no extra help available, then about 40 hours of working at home to complete each section. And that's a module a week.
I'm angry that parents weren't consulted in this. It's our children who are spending each night working on the coursework until 10pm, and all weekend. It's us that are seeing how frustrated and worried our kids are getting.
I've also been told that even if she passes the GCSE this year, she is still required by law to study maths until she leaves school.....why????? Once she passes the exam, further curriculum time seems rather superfluous.
I'm in discussion with the school now, to ascertain how much help they can give her in the GCSE Maths....they should at least be providing a good grounding in each module before sending the kids home to self study. Sorting out issues like this is the only time I get anywhere near to being Domme....mutters.
Anyone got a flogger I can borrow for the head mistress????
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Monday, March 05, 2007
Update....
Hubby has been discharged by the district nurse because she's so pleased with his progress. He's getting better every day, only his sleeping is causing him problems now.
We've been shown details of various pubs in the area we're looking at that are available....WOW !!! Lots of public space, plenty of bedrooms for us, in lovely village communities. I'll be in heaven!!
Oh. And I've been reminded of how 'Doms' (and I really am using the term loosely) in the chatooms assume that because I'm a free girl, I'll do god knows what on cam for them and cyber my ass off. As a friend said, it shows that they really, really don't know me. They offer to cyber with me as a favour, because after all, I must be desperate for some action.
I'll give them action. I'll slap them upside their heads with their flogger handles!
grins.
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
We've been shown details of various pubs in the area we're looking at that are available....WOW !!! Lots of public space, plenty of bedrooms for us, in lovely village communities. I'll be in heaven!!
Oh. And I've been reminded of how 'Doms' (and I really am using the term loosely) in the chatooms assume that because I'm a free girl, I'll do god knows what on cam for them and cyber my ass off. As a friend said, it shows that they really, really don't know me. They offer to cyber with me as a favour, because after all, I must be desperate for some action.
I'll give them action. I'll slap them upside their heads with their flogger handles!
grins.
xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
Breakthrough
My friends know how I've been working on getting pub experience with a view to having my own pub in the next 12 - 18 months. Finally...a breakthrough ! *smiles
I'm proud to announce......*grins....hubby and I are both doing our personal licence training at the end of March, and I'm now booked in for interviews with the major pub companies - as a pub manager.
I'll do my training on site in a training pub, and get paid whilst doing so, then will be able to move into my own pub - a timescale of about 6 months has been suggested.
If you know me - the you'll know how much I want this. It's something I've wanted for a very long time and will solve lots of problems too, including the chance to get my daughters into new schools.
My husband will keep his current job, and I'll run the pub. It will be a hard slog, its not an easy job and I'm aware of how hard I'll have to work.
It finally feels like I'm getting somewhere...I'm absolutely over the moon.
kusssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Monday, February 26, 2007
Domestication
Just lately, I've been on my knees for my husband (tying his shoelaces, washing his feet), serving him meals, fetching, carrying, generally doing anything I can to make his life easier. And he loves it ! *grins
But he'd give all of it up in an instant just to be able to do things for himself. He's really independant, so to have to rely on someone else to do day to day things really grates on him at times. Little things like not being able to take a plate out after he's eaten.
One thing he's really enjoyed though, is the proliferation of baked goods around at the moment. I love baking, and because of how many visitors we're receiving right now, I normally have at least two different kinds of cakes available. Apple crumble sponge, double chocolate muffins, walnut brownies, lemon sponge cake, date and walnut loaf......the man is in heaven !! And so am I....being able to lose myself in my baking, music on full blast (Blame it on the Boogie and Van der Valk are still hot favourites!) and dance away in my kitchen is great. Ohhhh I'm so domesticated ! *grins
I've decided to carry on my blog even though the D/s aspect will from now be pretty much drastically reduced ! I've used my blog in the past as a way to let my friends know how I'm going on, and to let off steam if things annoy me. Even though I'm young, free and single (ok, BDSM wise anyway !) I'm still part of the BDSM world, and still have my opinions about many, many things.
I spoke to someone at the weekend, a friend with whom I've been through a hell of a lot. In the past we've been ready to kill each other, love each other, hang each other off a cliff, and we've laughed and cried together. She tried to slam it into my head that although friendships change, it doesn't necessarily make them 'worse'. Just different. After all we've been through, misunderstandings, my screw ups, the lot, she's still the one I feel the 'need' for when I'm in over my head. The one I can trust to tell me the truth I need, whether I want it or not. And she's the one who makes me question myself when I decide to withdraw from my real life friends mainly because of what online people may think or post about me. Who matters more - the people who know me, or the people who'd like to think they do?
I want to get back to that with lessa. Being able to tell each other anything without hiding, and being able to slap each other upside the head when we're being stupid. M:e and I often talk about our joint time with MP, and about what they're doing now. He's a good friend, and we never avoid talking about him, because there's no need. And I tease the crap out of him in the chatroom we go to ! *weg. And he's just as bad, often bringing up the subject of a certain nosy hotel manager in Sidmouth *groans
Lessa and I will get back to that stage. At the moment it feels awkward, but at some point we'll be making fun of him and worrying about him working too much. We lost a lot of our 'sister' relationship lately, and now I've decided not to hide away I'm going to put the time in to try to get that back. Lessa means the absolute world to me.
Anyone who doesn't know me real time, and is thinking of posting detrimental comments about any of us without knowing each and every side of our relationship - don't bother. People who have never met me , and who judge me, can quite frankly go to hell. Even M:e, who knows me better than anyone, doesn't know everything that happened with lessa, DragonM and myself so other people don't stand a cat's chance in hell.
I'm here, my blog's here, and we're staying.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have a batch of lemon drizzle cake needing my attention *winks
kussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
But he'd give all of it up in an instant just to be able to do things for himself. He's really independant, so to have to rely on someone else to do day to day things really grates on him at times. Little things like not being able to take a plate out after he's eaten.
One thing he's really enjoyed though, is the proliferation of baked goods around at the moment. I love baking, and because of how many visitors we're receiving right now, I normally have at least two different kinds of cakes available. Apple crumble sponge, double chocolate muffins, walnut brownies, lemon sponge cake, date and walnut loaf......the man is in heaven !! And so am I....being able to lose myself in my baking, music on full blast (Blame it on the Boogie and Van der Valk are still hot favourites!) and dance away in my kitchen is great. Ohhhh I'm so domesticated ! *grins
I've decided to carry on my blog even though the D/s aspect will from now be pretty much drastically reduced ! I've used my blog in the past as a way to let my friends know how I'm going on, and to let off steam if things annoy me. Even though I'm young, free and single (ok, BDSM wise anyway !) I'm still part of the BDSM world, and still have my opinions about many, many things.
I spoke to someone at the weekend, a friend with whom I've been through a hell of a lot. In the past we've been ready to kill each other, love each other, hang each other off a cliff, and we've laughed and cried together. She tried to slam it into my head that although friendships change, it doesn't necessarily make them 'worse'. Just different. After all we've been through, misunderstandings, my screw ups, the lot, she's still the one I feel the 'need' for when I'm in over my head. The one I can trust to tell me the truth I need, whether I want it or not. And she's the one who makes me question myself when I decide to withdraw from my real life friends mainly because of what online people may think or post about me. Who matters more - the people who know me, or the people who'd like to think they do?
I want to get back to that with lessa. Being able to tell each other anything without hiding, and being able to slap each other upside the head when we're being stupid. M:e and I often talk about our joint time with MP, and about what they're doing now. He's a good friend, and we never avoid talking about him, because there's no need. And I tease the crap out of him in the chatroom we go to ! *weg. And he's just as bad, often bringing up the subject of a certain nosy hotel manager in Sidmouth *groans
Lessa and I will get back to that stage. At the moment it feels awkward, but at some point we'll be making fun of him and worrying about him working too much. We lost a lot of our 'sister' relationship lately, and now I've decided not to hide away I'm going to put the time in to try to get that back. Lessa means the absolute world to me.
Anyone who doesn't know me real time, and is thinking of posting detrimental comments about any of us without knowing each and every side of our relationship - don't bother. People who have never met me , and who judge me, can quite frankly go to hell. Even M:e, who knows me better than anyone, doesn't know everything that happened with lessa, DragonM and myself so other people don't stand a cat's chance in hell.
I'm here, my blog's here, and we're staying.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have a batch of lemon drizzle cake needing my attention *winks
kussssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Thursday, February 22, 2007
I don't think there's any doubt in anyone's mind that I love lessa and Dragon M . If there is.....you need hitting over the head with a baseball bat. Really.
I'm doing this publically because I think everyone needs to know where they stand, that's been one of the major issues lately. I feel that everyone knows what's going on except me, I'm tired of deciphering blog postings to try and find out how people are, if they're ok. And lessa is in the totally uneviable position of trying to do the right thing and feeling awful no matter what she does. As of today, I'm no longer DragonM's fox. I'm just fox. I'm proud of the person I'm becoming, and will keep that name. But the cost of anything beyond that is just too high. I'm not prepared to lose good friendships, which is what we're in danger of doing.
DragonM is hopefully still one of my friends, and I hope I've stopped the damage in time to avoid losing lessa as a friend too. I am submissive, and that is something I'll need in my life. But with the right man. No matter how much of a right man DragonM is/was, it was the wrong circumstances. And I'll find someone else. In time.
We've all talked, and hopefully everything will be ok.
We'll see.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I'm doing this publically because I think everyone needs to know where they stand, that's been one of the major issues lately. I feel that everyone knows what's going on except me, I'm tired of deciphering blog postings to try and find out how people are, if they're ok. And lessa is in the totally uneviable position of trying to do the right thing and feeling awful no matter what she does. As of today, I'm no longer DragonM's fox. I'm just fox. I'm proud of the person I'm becoming, and will keep that name. But the cost of anything beyond that is just too high. I'm not prepared to lose good friendships, which is what we're in danger of doing.
DragonM is hopefully still one of my friends, and I hope I've stopped the damage in time to avoid losing lessa as a friend too. I am submissive, and that is something I'll need in my life. But with the right man. No matter how much of a right man DragonM is/was, it was the wrong circumstances. And I'll find someone else. In time.
We've all talked, and hopefully everything will be ok.
We'll see.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Another gem....
Luckily, I am finding humour in the strangest places lately !
After washing my husband's hair this morning, bathing him, dressing him and getting him ready, he settled himself down sooooo, so carefully on his speacially made chair. When I asked if he was ok, he grunted and said, 'you have NO idea how painful it is to sit down when your bum is this bruised !'
*laughs hysterically and runs around the house screaming !
I'd like to think (glaring in his direction) that its the eight inch cut on his backside that is causing quite a bit of the 'discomfort', not the teeny weeny amount of bruising.
I ought to offer to get someone to whip his ass for him, and compare THOSE bruises ! lol.
He's tired, still can't really sleep, but feeling better each day.
kussssssssssssssssssssss
After washing my husband's hair this morning, bathing him, dressing him and getting him ready, he settled himself down sooooo, so carefully on his speacially made chair. When I asked if he was ok, he grunted and said, 'you have NO idea how painful it is to sit down when your bum is this bruised !'
*laughs hysterically and runs around the house screaming !
I'd like to think (glaring in his direction) that its the eight inch cut on his backside that is causing quite a bit of the 'discomfort', not the teeny weeny amount of bruising.
I ought to offer to get someone to whip his ass for him, and compare THOSE bruises ! lol.
He's tired, still can't really sleep, but feeling better each day.
kussssssssssssssssssssss
Monday, February 19, 2007
How the HELL????
How the hell can a man who had a hip replacement on Wednesday be desperate for sex already???
MEN !!!!!
MEN !!!!!
Sunday, February 18, 2007
Ice and Fire
This beautiful picture from Artnam is called 'Ice and Fire' - its a celebration of how two extremes can co-exist.
That feels very much like me at the moment. I'm happily looking after my husband, nursing him, taking care of the kids. At the same time I often think of my submission, play with Sir, and time with Sir just chatting. I obviously look forward to being with him again, but there's no resentment about having to take care of my 'vanilla' issues.
All of us are more than just a label...I'm not 'just a subbie' or 'just a wife' to the exclusion of all else. I'm both of those things, and more.
Ice and fire - in one package.
And each one makes the other even more beautiful.
kussssssssssssssssssssssssssss
Saturday, February 17, 2007
Me?? SADISTIC????
My husband came home from hospital today, and is so happy to be back home.
One of the things he has to do as part of his recovery, is to inject himself each day with anti coagulents to help prevent DVT. He's had problems injecting himself though, so the lovely nurse at the hospital asked if anyone at home would be able to do it for him.
'Oh yes,' he replied. 'My wife will be able to do that for me. It will fulfil her sadistic streak!'.
Me?? SADISTIC??
He thinks I can't take pain - he thinks I'm sadistic - I must be damn good at hiding my submissive painslut side !! *weg.
And if he thinks that I'm sadistic.....I could introduce him to a few people who could really surprise him ! Lol.
On the serious side - he's home, he's healing, he's happy. Who could ask for more.
kussssssssssssssssss
One of the things he has to do as part of his recovery, is to inject himself each day with anti coagulents to help prevent DVT. He's had problems injecting himself though, so the lovely nurse at the hospital asked if anyone at home would be able to do it for him.
'Oh yes,' he replied. 'My wife will be able to do that for me. It will fulfil her sadistic streak!'.
Me?? SADISTIC??
He thinks I can't take pain - he thinks I'm sadistic - I must be damn good at hiding my submissive painslut side !! *weg.
And if he thinks that I'm sadistic.....I could introduce him to a few people who could really surprise him ! Lol.
On the serious side - he's home, he's healing, he's happy. Who could ask for more.
kussssssssssssssssss
Thursday, February 15, 2007
Cyber
I went into my usual chatroom tonight just for a few minutes, to try and 'switch off', and I walked into a room of people being derogatory about cyber/online relationships. Pure cyber will never be for me, but the nature of my relationship with Sir , and the fact that we live in different countries means that a fair amount of our time is spent online, or the phone, or texting. That time with him is very valuable.
One of the comments I heard was - 'cyber is telling someone what to do online so that they can pretend to do it'. We keep saying that one of the beautiful aspects of BDSM is its diversity - everyone conducts their relationship in the way that suits them best. I didn't see much of that 'open mindedness' tonight.
If Sir tells me to do something - he knows that I'll do it, and if I don't, I'll tell him, whether its going to bed early or writing a business report. That's because of something basic and vital in any BDSM relationship.
Trust.
Trust applies whether you're 24/7 TPE, living together or pure cyber. I see Sir every few months in real, and I obey him the same at a distance as I do face to face.
After a long day, I really wasn't in the mood for this discussion in room, so I just left.
So many people are open minded.
When it suits them.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
One of the comments I heard was - 'cyber is telling someone what to do online so that they can pretend to do it'. We keep saying that one of the beautiful aspects of BDSM is its diversity - everyone conducts their relationship in the way that suits them best. I didn't see much of that 'open mindedness' tonight.
If Sir tells me to do something - he knows that I'll do it, and if I don't, I'll tell him, whether its going to bed early or writing a business report. That's because of something basic and vital in any BDSM relationship.
Trust.
Trust applies whether you're 24/7 TPE, living together or pure cyber. I see Sir every few months in real, and I obey him the same at a distance as I do face to face.
After a long day, I really wasn't in the mood for this discussion in room, so I just left.
So many people are open minded.
When it suits them.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Just a quickie....
We decided not to bother about valentines day, because of the operation etc.
But my hubby left me an envelope not to be opened 'unless he grows wings'.....grins.....he's an organised soul.
Inside he says he's got all his life assurance policies, his will, and a letter for me just in case the worst should happen when he's in hospital. I know...it's 'only' a hip replacement.
But making sure that everything I'd need is somewhere safe just in case the worst happens, when I'll least be able to deal with things.....one hell of a way to say 'I love you'.
I love you too baby.
You soft sod. Kisssssssssssssss
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
But my hubby left me an envelope not to be opened 'unless he grows wings'.....grins.....he's an organised soul.
Inside he says he's got all his life assurance policies, his will, and a letter for me just in case the worst should happen when he's in hospital. I know...it's 'only' a hip replacement.
But making sure that everything I'd need is somewhere safe just in case the worst happens, when I'll least be able to deal with things.....one hell of a way to say 'I love you'.
I love you too baby.
You soft sod. Kisssssssssssssss
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Tired....
My husband was admitted to hospital today, and is having his hip replacement tomorrow at about midday.
We chose a hospital which admittedly isn't the closest to us, but its reputation for cleanliness and actual surgical procedures is wonderful, so for us to travel a fair way to visit him is worth it.
Because of road works, it took 90 minutes to get there this morning, but it took me two and a half hours to drive back.....I was silly enough not to eat this morning because of nerves, so I got home tired, aching and starving !
So.....to visit him for one hour I'll be driving for four hours - but it's worth every minute for the care he'll get there. My only concern it that the staff are now saying that he's booked to go home on Saturday, whereas the consultant who is doing the operation told him Monday at the earliest. I really don't want him sent home before he's ready just to free up a bed. I guess we'll have to wait and see.
My blog isn't always BDSM - it's my life, and my family is a big part of that.
I think Sir would now tell me to go and eat, cuddle the girls and go to bed and have a good nights sleep, so I think I'll go and do that soon.
He has some good ideas sometimes *smiles.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
We chose a hospital which admittedly isn't the closest to us, but its reputation for cleanliness and actual surgical procedures is wonderful, so for us to travel a fair way to visit him is worth it.
Because of road works, it took 90 minutes to get there this morning, but it took me two and a half hours to drive back.....I was silly enough not to eat this morning because of nerves, so I got home tired, aching and starving !
So.....to visit him for one hour I'll be driving for four hours - but it's worth every minute for the care he'll get there. My only concern it that the staff are now saying that he's booked to go home on Saturday, whereas the consultant who is doing the operation told him Monday at the earliest. I really don't want him sent home before he's ready just to free up a bed. I guess we'll have to wait and see.
My blog isn't always BDSM - it's my life, and my family is a big part of that.
I think Sir would now tell me to go and eat, cuddle the girls and go to bed and have a good nights sleep, so I think I'll go and do that soon.
He has some good ideas sometimes *smiles.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Monday, February 12, 2007
Birthday Candles....
A belated happy birthday to kaya's Master. He celebrated this weekend with a 'birthday buttcake' *grins http://kaya-s.livejournal.com/
I've considered whether to post this or not, but I think I'll be safe - I won't be able to see Sir around His birthday, so it's ok if He gets ideas after seeing this.
You HAVE to admire kaya !!!
*grins
I've considered whether to post this or not, but I think I'll be safe - I won't be able to see Sir around His birthday, so it's ok if He gets ideas after seeing this.
You HAVE to admire kaya !!!
*grins
Sunday, February 11, 2007
Natural beauty....
Next week my darling sister will be enjoying a sauna, spa, and various other watery fun, with Sir, M:e and guests *grins. After the stressful few weeks they've all had, I can't think of a better place for them to go.
knuffels and kusssssssssssssssssss
Saturday, February 10, 2007
Communication....
My husband went to the pub last night on his usual Friday night out with the lads, for the last time before his operation. Me being me, I didn't go to bed until I'd seen him walking down the street on his way back home. And then slipping into bed and 'playing dead' because it wouldn't do for him to know I was concerned enough about him to stand at my bedroom window needing to know that he was safe before I could go to sleep, now would it? *smiles
Sometimes, it really hits me how bad his walking is because of his hip. Last night was one of those times. I really can't describe actually here how he walks.....maybe saying that his limp can be so bad that it looks like one leg is 6 inches shorter than the other. The consultant last week told him that his hip is basically shattered - that he must have an incredible pain threshold to be able to actually walk. His reply? 'Thank god it's not my wife - she can't take pain at all.'
*speechless!*
We've had big problems in the past, nearly ending in divorce, but we won through. We found ways to communicate with each other, taking into account how different we are in this. Communication is also a major issue in my BDSM relationship, but Sir and I have overcome many of my insecurities in being able to talk about things that trouble me. I can now tell him why I react to a certain issue, what I think lies behind it and why it upsets me/frustrates me/why I avoid a certain type of 'play' like the plague. And it still amazes me that I can do this.
We've found what works for us - it doesn't mean that is right for us is right for everyone.
This next couple of months are going to be hard in many ways - my husband healing, in physio, trying to work from home. I won't get the contact I usually get with Sir because I won't be available as much - my husband needs me, and I'll be there. And Sir wouldn't expect anything less from me - to be there for my family. We'll still talk, and text, and IM, and use our established ways of communicating - just not so often. And having my hubby in the house 24/7 for at least six weeks means no 'play' for that long !! *sobs*
But...it doesn't change things with Sir and I. He's still me Sir, I'm still His fox. Less contact doesn't mean less submission. I'm His fox 24/7, regardless of what I'm doing, whether I'm in sweet agony from tacks in my bra or driving my husband to phsyio.
To all of us - lessa, Sir and myself - family is so important. We love the way that Sir is with His family, it's part of what makes Him so special. And the same applies in reverse. He loves how lessa is with her family, with the recent wonderful new addition to the clan. And He loves my relationship with my kids, and knows that I will look after my husband totally while he's recovering.
He wouldn't expect any less from His slave or His fox. It's part of who we are.
And He loves every part *smiles.
kussssssssssss
Sometimes, it really hits me how bad his walking is because of his hip. Last night was one of those times. I really can't describe actually here how he walks.....maybe saying that his limp can be so bad that it looks like one leg is 6 inches shorter than the other. The consultant last week told him that his hip is basically shattered - that he must have an incredible pain threshold to be able to actually walk. His reply? 'Thank god it's not my wife - she can't take pain at all.'
*speechless!*
We've had big problems in the past, nearly ending in divorce, but we won through. We found ways to communicate with each other, taking into account how different we are in this. Communication is also a major issue in my BDSM relationship, but Sir and I have overcome many of my insecurities in being able to talk about things that trouble me. I can now tell him why I react to a certain issue, what I think lies behind it and why it upsets me/frustrates me/why I avoid a certain type of 'play' like the plague. And it still amazes me that I can do this.
We've found what works for us - it doesn't mean that is right for us is right for everyone.
This next couple of months are going to be hard in many ways - my husband healing, in physio, trying to work from home. I won't get the contact I usually get with Sir because I won't be available as much - my husband needs me, and I'll be there. And Sir wouldn't expect anything less from me - to be there for my family. We'll still talk, and text, and IM, and use our established ways of communicating - just not so often. And having my hubby in the house 24/7 for at least six weeks means no 'play' for that long !! *sobs*
But...it doesn't change things with Sir and I. He's still me Sir, I'm still His fox. Less contact doesn't mean less submission. I'm His fox 24/7, regardless of what I'm doing, whether I'm in sweet agony from tacks in my bra or driving my husband to phsyio.
To all of us - lessa, Sir and myself - family is so important. We love the way that Sir is with His family, it's part of what makes Him so special. And the same applies in reverse. He loves how lessa is with her family, with the recent wonderful new addition to the clan. And He loves my relationship with my kids, and knows that I will look after my husband totally while he's recovering.
He wouldn't expect any less from His slave or His fox. It's part of who we are.
And He loves every part *smiles.
kussssssssssss
Friday, February 09, 2007
Play....
OK... a subject that I think all my friends and I have mentioned at some point or other on our blogs and in conversation -
Can we please find another word for play??
Play makes me think of it as something lighthearted, meaningless...something taken lightly. Don't get me wrong, play with Sir often incorporates fun, and laughing, as with most Doms I've heard of/experienced. But to me, play is more about the submission, pleasing him, feeling really close. A beautiful part of a relationship. The word play doesn't really do it for me.
There must be alternatives??
xxxxxxxxx
Can we please find another word for play??
Play makes me think of it as something lighthearted, meaningless...something taken lightly. Don't get me wrong, play with Sir often incorporates fun, and laughing, as with most Doms I've heard of/experienced. But to me, play is more about the submission, pleasing him, feeling really close. A beautiful part of a relationship. The word play doesn't really do it for me.
There must be alternatives??
xxxxxxxxx
Thursday, February 08, 2007
Snow Day....
Both of my daughters schools are closed today, due to the snow storm that's on its way - we've had quite a bit of snow, but the worst is expected in a couple of hours.
So, they're just getting bundled up in warm clothing, and then we're going in the garden to make snow angels, have snowball fights and generally have winter fun. Their pyjamas are warming on the radiators, and when we've finishing pelting each other with snowbals, we'll dry off, get the nice warm pyjamas on and snuggle up with blankets and watch tv. I'll even wear my 'mouse' pyjamas that my youngest daughter delighted in showing to M:e ! Definitely not 'wearing in front of Sir' clothing *winks. I've made baked potato soup, we have a fresh loaf from the bread machine overnight, and lots of hot chocolate.
Kussssssssssssssssss
That, to me, sounds like a perfect day *smiles.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
The Art of Balance....
In every relationship there has to be a balance - his needs, her needs....the fun, the serious....the intense, the soft....
This picture makes me think of a beautifully balanced submissive. Her own woman, but strong enough to submit totally. As confident in herself as she is in him.
So often in chat rooms today, strong women are seen as too much of a challenge - if they don't submit to anybody typing their names in capitals, they're not a 'real' submissive. If you ever show a backbone and an opinion you're seen as a 'switch' because no true submissive would say boo to a goose *grins.
The right Dom allows his girl to feel that she has the strength to be herself, and I've seen many beautiful examples of this, not least of all my sister lessa and the lovely M:e.
Both perfectly balanced ....both strong women....both very, very happy.
The only way to be *smiles
kussssssssssssssssssssssss
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Beautiful day...
We woke up this morning to a light covering of snow - not enough to be inconvenient, just enough to be beautiful. The lovely bright subshine is reflecting off the snow, and is currently lighting up my office brighter than any lightbulb could. It's a beautiful day. I'm actually feeling pretty calm now, things are underway for my hubby's operation, things are far more on track with DragonM Sir (and I'm thinking of You today, Sir, hoping things are easier) and I can almost feel the excitement emanating from lessa and M:e who are meeting up again in ten days. Apart from one thing that is a little unclear right now - not BDSM related - things are pretty much on an even keel.
It makes a change *grins.
Sir and I are due a good talk, but there's no rush - He's got other things on His mind right now. He knows that I'll be here when He's ready.
The best things are worth waiting for - and lessa and Sir are most definitely two of the best things.
kusssssssssssssssssssssssss
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Learning....
Tomorrow my husband goes in for his pre-op check-ups, four hours of being probed, poked and prodded to make sure he's fit enough for his surgery. Then next Wednesday, Valentine's Day, he has the hip replacement that he's been so desperate for. I can't emphasise enough how much pain this bad hip has caused him, and he's only 44.
Today we ran through things that I'll have to do while he's incapacitated. Things that I know a lot of women already do, but always taken care of certain things, I've taken care of others. So he's got to show me how to check oil levels on the cars each week, do the tyres, how to work our electricity boxes in case fuses blow, etc etc. So, as a silver cloud to him being away from us for a week in hospital, I'll have new skills !
We've agreed that I won't go to see him the day of the operation. When he had a cruciate ligament op several years ago, the private hospital allowed me in to see him a few hours after the op, and I wished to god they hadn't. He was in so much pain, hardly coherent and writhing around begging for pain killers. After I left, I drove straight to my mum's, handed my then baby/now 13 year old to my sister, walked into the kitchen to my mum and just burst out crying. It was horrible to see someone I loved in so much pain. So he's has asked me not to visit that first day - he doesn't want to run the risk of me seeing him like that again. For a non-Dom, he's sometimes so bloody bossy !!
On the bright side - today in my never ending task to find something that my younger daughter will eat apart from chocolate spread sandwiches, she's discovered a liking for home made rice pudding !! I watched in glee as she ate a huge bowl of it, thinking, 'yes!! calcium !!' So I think I'll be making a few more batches of that !
I made pancakes afterwards, and left a plate of them for my two girls while I went to sort out laundry. I came back still enjoying the smug feeling of getting disguised milk into my baby, when I saw what she'd done with her pancakes.
'Look Mummy !! I put chocolate spread on them !'
Sighs. Oh well.
My older daughter (thanks to a certain person in Wales who gave her bacon pancakes but who shall remain nameless) loves having savoury pancakes. So what did she put on hers?? Barbeque sauce !.
I might start telling them DragonM Sir loves 5 pieces of fruit, a pint of milk, and 2 low fat chicken breasts every day. They're both so convinced that He's wonderful (and they're right), that might just do the trick!!
Chocolate spread pancake anyone??
kussssssssssssssss
Today we ran through things that I'll have to do while he's incapacitated. Things that I know a lot of women already do, but always taken care of certain things, I've taken care of others. So he's got to show me how to check oil levels on the cars each week, do the tyres, how to work our electricity boxes in case fuses blow, etc etc. So, as a silver cloud to him being away from us for a week in hospital, I'll have new skills !
We've agreed that I won't go to see him the day of the operation. When he had a cruciate ligament op several years ago, the private hospital allowed me in to see him a few hours after the op, and I wished to god they hadn't. He was in so much pain, hardly coherent and writhing around begging for pain killers. After I left, I drove straight to my mum's, handed my then baby/now 13 year old to my sister, walked into the kitchen to my mum and just burst out crying. It was horrible to see someone I loved in so much pain. So he's has asked me not to visit that first day - he doesn't want to run the risk of me seeing him like that again. For a non-Dom, he's sometimes so bloody bossy !!
On the bright side - today in my never ending task to find something that my younger daughter will eat apart from chocolate spread sandwiches, she's discovered a liking for home made rice pudding !! I watched in glee as she ate a huge bowl of it, thinking, 'yes!! calcium !!' So I think I'll be making a few more batches of that !
I made pancakes afterwards, and left a plate of them for my two girls while I went to sort out laundry. I came back still enjoying the smug feeling of getting disguised milk into my baby, when I saw what she'd done with her pancakes.
'Look Mummy !! I put chocolate spread on them !'
Sighs. Oh well.
My older daughter (thanks to a certain person in Wales who gave her bacon pancakes but who shall remain nameless) loves having savoury pancakes. So what did she put on hers?? Barbeque sauce !.
I might start telling them DragonM Sir loves 5 pieces of fruit, a pint of milk, and 2 low fat chicken breasts every day. They're both so convinced that He's wonderful (and they're right), that might just do the trick!!
Chocolate spread pancake anyone??
kussssssssssssssss
Saturday, February 03, 2007
A musical moment
Had a lovely time listening to my CD's while I was cleaning today, then had a laugh attack when I wondered if the song 'Take My Breath Away' by Berlin (from the film Top Gun) was anything to do with breath play !!
I had a great text from Sir today, saying 'huggs and kisses from the cuddly teddly bear', in reference to my previous post *grins. Gotta love that sense of humour!
He'll be just about on His way to a party with lessa now, so I hope they have a wonderful time, and truly hope that lessa gets to feel His cane again.
kusssssssssssssssss for them both.
I had a great text from Sir today, saying 'huggs and kisses from the cuddly teddly bear', in reference to my previous post *grins. Gotta love that sense of humour!
He'll be just about on His way to a party with lessa now, so I hope they have a wonderful time, and truly hope that lessa gets to feel His cane again.
kusssssssssssssssss for them both.
Friday, February 02, 2007
One of those days....
I'm having one of those days.
You know those days when you feel the need to kneel, or get flogged, or just something physical. I have times when I feel really 'antsy' as I think the Americans say. On edge. And it's not doubting my submission to Sir, or my emotional/mental submission not being enough - it's just more *clears my throat and gets all clever* feeling a need for the physical manifestation of my submission. Good, eh.
Obviously, Sir being in another country brings it's limitations.
I feel my submission to Him all the time. That warm, centred, 'complete' feeling, and I love it. And Him. As He said a while ago, I'm His fox 24/7 not just in play.
The play session we had the other day was wonderful. Long, hot, and fantastic. I have this fascination with His face and voice *grins. Sometimes His face is all 'cheeky Dom', full of fun but undoubtedly in control. Other times it's just 'Sir'....that face you don't argue with but if I see it for too long I get a very wet chair ! *groans. And now I've discovered a new fascination - His forearms !! Watching Him on cam the other day, just sitting there talking to me, His bare arms folded across His chest...I could have watched them for hours !!
It's not often that we get play sessions like that. We both have to be alone in the house for a start and that rarely happens !! lol. They don't need to happen very often, I don't need one a week or a month just to show Him I'm still His. The way I feel today is purely selfish - not to prove anything to Him, or to make Him feel better - just a need, a frustration I'm feeling. It's nothing to do with whether we've played recently or not. Feeling like this could happen after 5 months of no play, or the day after a hard session - it's an itch that needs scratching. And seeing as it ain't gonna get scratched, I'll have to go and do some exercise for a while to burn up some nervous energy or something!! *grins
I love seeing Him in control - and it doesn't have to be BDSM related. Lessa may be getting a hair bondage this weekend, and I love watching that. It's not a pain thing, it's not an obvious thing, but it's definitely a control thing. The control is always there with Him, it's not something He 'puts on' for a session. And you can see that so clearly when He's with lessa. It's a sheer joy to see it.
Grinning - I have marks on my breasts from the play we did on Monday - where the pins pricked it looks like a vampire attacked me !!
Evil, evil, sadistic Man.
Gotta love Him.
Grins and kussssssssssssssssssss
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
You know those days when you feel the need to kneel, or get flogged, or just something physical. I have times when I feel really 'antsy' as I think the Americans say. On edge. And it's not doubting my submission to Sir, or my emotional/mental submission not being enough - it's just more *clears my throat and gets all clever* feeling a need for the physical manifestation of my submission. Good, eh.
Obviously, Sir being in another country brings it's limitations.
I feel my submission to Him all the time. That warm, centred, 'complete' feeling, and I love it. And Him. As He said a while ago, I'm His fox 24/7 not just in play.
The play session we had the other day was wonderful. Long, hot, and fantastic. I have this fascination with His face and voice *grins. Sometimes His face is all 'cheeky Dom', full of fun but undoubtedly in control. Other times it's just 'Sir'....that face you don't argue with but if I see it for too long I get a very wet chair ! *groans. And now I've discovered a new fascination - His forearms !! Watching Him on cam the other day, just sitting there talking to me, His bare arms folded across His chest...I could have watched them for hours !!
It's not often that we get play sessions like that. We both have to be alone in the house for a start and that rarely happens !! lol. They don't need to happen very often, I don't need one a week or a month just to show Him I'm still His. The way I feel today is purely selfish - not to prove anything to Him, or to make Him feel better - just a need, a frustration I'm feeling. It's nothing to do with whether we've played recently or not. Feeling like this could happen after 5 months of no play, or the day after a hard session - it's an itch that needs scratching. And seeing as it ain't gonna get scratched, I'll have to go and do some exercise for a while to burn up some nervous energy or something!! *grins
I love seeing Him in control - and it doesn't have to be BDSM related. Lessa may be getting a hair bondage this weekend, and I love watching that. It's not a pain thing, it's not an obvious thing, but it's definitely a control thing. The control is always there with Him, it's not something He 'puts on' for a session. And you can see that so clearly when He's with lessa. It's a sheer joy to see it.
Grinning - I have marks on my breasts from the play we did on Monday - where the pins pricked it looks like a vampire attacked me !!
Evil, evil, sadistic Man.
Gotta love Him.
Grins and kussssssssssssssssssss
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Thursday, February 01, 2007
10,000
As we speak, my hit counter stands at 9833 - not bad for someone who was unsure whether she could actually write a blog !!
To reach the 10,000 mark will be amazing, and I think I'll celebrate in some way. Any ideas?? And no thank you - no smart ass subbies suggesting 10,000 spanks - not even I could take that many !! Although......I know two subbies who I could nominate to take some of them FOR me !! *grins
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To reach the 10,000 mark will be amazing, and I think I'll celebrate in some way. Any ideas?? And no thank you - no smart ass subbies suggesting 10,000 spanks - not even I could take that many !! Although......I know two subbies who I could nominate to take some of them FOR me !! *grins
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Wednesday, January 31, 2007
For two very special people....
Flowers have a language all of their own, for instance most of us know that a single red rose represents love.
The azalea above is for two very, very special people. The meaning of this flower is, 'take care of yourself for me'.
They're both working so hard, and have other stresses. I wish I could make life easier for them, but I can be there for them when they need me. They'll be together today, which will be wonderful for both of them.
All my love
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Offices need NOT be boring !
It's interesting having my computer and webcam set up in the home office.
All those little everyday essentials lying around that you never think of in a BDSM way until a certain Someone comes online, shows you a handful of drawing pins/tacks and says, 'Got any of these handy?'. He was in a particularly evil mood yesterday *grins
Mistake 1 - I said, 'I think these pins in my bra are lying wrong...I can't feel them' Dear God....five minutes later I could feel them !
Mistake 2 - I used my favourite hairbrush when He asked me to fetch one...no, not for spanking, but I will be buying a new one asap after what I had to do with it !
Mistake 3 - I asked Him why He was doing something...bad move clare !!! Hence the hairbrush *shivers*
It's ok to make mistakes, as long as I learn from them. I learnt very painful lessons yesterday !!
On the good side - I saw Him looking more relaxed than I have in ages - to be able to give him pleasure, make him happy when he's having a busy time generally is wonderful. And to have a talk/play which combined so much laughing with the play was great. We had a serious talk too - about being able to ask him for things, or offering. And that meant a lot to me.
I learnt to count way higher than before*blushes* and I learnt that it ain't easy coming while you're laughing !! *grins
kusssssssssssssssssssssssss for my Sir
ps.....I had no problem sleeping last night !!
All those little everyday essentials lying around that you never think of in a BDSM way until a certain Someone comes online, shows you a handful of drawing pins/tacks and says, 'Got any of these handy?'. He was in a particularly evil mood yesterday *grins
Mistake 1 - I said, 'I think these pins in my bra are lying wrong...I can't feel them' Dear God....five minutes later I could feel them !
Mistake 2 - I used my favourite hairbrush when He asked me to fetch one...no, not for spanking, but I will be buying a new one asap after what I had to do with it !
Mistake 3 - I asked Him why He was doing something...bad move clare !!! Hence the hairbrush *shivers*
It's ok to make mistakes, as long as I learn from them. I learnt very painful lessons yesterday !!
On the good side - I saw Him looking more relaxed than I have in ages - to be able to give him pleasure, make him happy when he's having a busy time generally is wonderful. And to have a talk/play which combined so much laughing with the play was great. We had a serious talk too - about being able to ask him for things, or offering. And that meant a lot to me.
I learnt to count way higher than before*blushes* and I learnt that it ain't easy coming while you're laughing !! *grins
kusssssssssssssssssssssssss for my Sir
ps.....I had no problem sleeping last night !!
Monday, January 29, 2007
The Proposal.....
Still grinning here.
One of the fathers at my younger daughter's school came up to me today and thanked me. 'What for', I asked?
'For showing me that there are still real women out there, who look lovely, who laugh, who hug their kids and when they walk they look as sexy as hell. You've restored my faith.'
'Hmmmm....ok...well, thank you. It's lovely of you to say so' (bestowing a gracious smile and wondering where this is going).
'I bet you look lovely on a romantic dinner, candles lit, red roses for you' (pfffft.....I love red roses but do you really wanna know what I do with candles???)
'If I'm with my husband, I love romantic dinners' (If I'm with my Sir, I love romantic dinners where I'm relieved of my underwear and know that afterwards I'm going to be beaten, flogged, cropped, caned, made to beg and crawl, tied down, chained to a bed, and brought to orgasm more times in one night than in the previous year)
'Would you like to have dinner with me tonight, at my place? My ex is having my daughter' (giving me a grin that I think was supposed to be sexy but I think I'm immune)
'Ummm...no thanks. I don't dine with gentlemen I don't know, besides which, my husband wouldn't approve' (neither would my Sir He'd probably beat my ass but lets not go into THAT on the school playground!!)
'He has to know??'
'Yes! He would have to know! If I wanted to. Which I don't. So ......goodbye'
Ok...get this....his closing line -
'That's ok - some women just aren't adventurous. There's more to life than the missionary position you know'
SPEECHLESS!!!!!
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
One of the fathers at my younger daughter's school came up to me today and thanked me. 'What for', I asked?
'For showing me that there are still real women out there, who look lovely, who laugh, who hug their kids and when they walk they look as sexy as hell. You've restored my faith.'
'Hmmmm....ok...well, thank you. It's lovely of you to say so' (bestowing a gracious smile and wondering where this is going).
'I bet you look lovely on a romantic dinner, candles lit, red roses for you' (pfffft.....I love red roses but do you really wanna know what I do with candles???)
'If I'm with my husband, I love romantic dinners' (If I'm with my Sir, I love romantic dinners where I'm relieved of my underwear and know that afterwards I'm going to be beaten, flogged, cropped, caned, made to beg and crawl, tied down, chained to a bed, and brought to orgasm more times in one night than in the previous year)
'Would you like to have dinner with me tonight, at my place? My ex is having my daughter' (giving me a grin that I think was supposed to be sexy but I think I'm immune)
'Ummm...no thanks. I don't dine with gentlemen I don't know, besides which, my husband wouldn't approve' (neither would my Sir He'd probably beat my ass but lets not go into THAT on the school playground!!)
'He has to know??'
'Yes! He would have to know! If I wanted to. Which I don't. So ......goodbye'
Ok...get this....his closing line -
'That's ok - some women just aren't adventurous. There's more to life than the missionary position you know'
SPEECHLESS!!!!!
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Saturday, January 27, 2007
The power of submission
The power of submission lies not in the ability to kneel before another, to give over one's body or the wearing of a collar. The power of submission can be found only in the heart of one who gives her love to another freely, knowing what joy and pain will come from it. ~Unknown Author
I found these words on the website http://love-as-thou-wilt.blogspot.com/. I loved them.
kussssssssssssssssss for Sir and lessa
I found these words on the website http://love-as-thou-wilt.blogspot.com/. I loved them.
kussssssssssssssssss for Sir and lessa
Friday, January 26, 2007
Sleepless....
Since before Christmas, I've had problems sleeping, often only getting two or three hours a night. On the rare occasion that I can sleep....my husband is in so much pain with his leg that he keeps me awake.
I hadn't really intended going to the doctor about it until I was, er....persuaded what a good idea it would be. (I got the verbal equivalent of a raised eyebrow over the phone). But today's visit proved that visiting him was a waste of time - he barely looked at my notes, asked if I had problems in my life (no more than 90% of the rest of the population) and immediately prescribed anti depressants.
I'm not depressed !!!!!
My life is full, busy, complicated....yes, I have worries such as the upcoming operation, money and kids schooling, but nothing that would class as depression. I have a support network that anyone would be proud of to talk through problems with. No way would I class myself as depressed, and no way am I taking those tablets. I have one hell of a challenging twelve months coming up, and to my mind those tablets would only impede that.
So I'm going to try more conventional methods first. To start I'm going to get into the habit of getting off the computer at a reasonable hour (10 or 11pm at the latest) and having a warm bath to get me calmed down and rested. I'm hoping that if I'm on the pc later than that, that Sir will kick me off it ! *smiles.
This next twelve months I'm going to be doing several of the most difficult things you can do, all in one year. Moving house, new job, new schools, etc etc. I know that with Sir's support, and lessa's and M:e's......I'll be in a far stronger position.
And if all else fails to make me sleep......I can always ask for a flight to Amsterdam on the NHS. A play session with Sir always knocks me out for many, many hours !! *grins
kussssssssssssssssssssssss
I hadn't really intended going to the doctor about it until I was, er....persuaded what a good idea it would be. (I got the verbal equivalent of a raised eyebrow over the phone). But today's visit proved that visiting him was a waste of time - he barely looked at my notes, asked if I had problems in my life (no more than 90% of the rest of the population) and immediately prescribed anti depressants.
I'm not depressed !!!!!
My life is full, busy, complicated....yes, I have worries such as the upcoming operation, money and kids schooling, but nothing that would class as depression. I have a support network that anyone would be proud of to talk through problems with. No way would I class myself as depressed, and no way am I taking those tablets. I have one hell of a challenging twelve months coming up, and to my mind those tablets would only impede that.
So I'm going to try more conventional methods first. To start I'm going to get into the habit of getting off the computer at a reasonable hour (10 or 11pm at the latest) and having a warm bath to get me calmed down and rested. I'm hoping that if I'm on the pc later than that, that Sir will kick me off it ! *smiles.
This next twelve months I'm going to be doing several of the most difficult things you can do, all in one year. Moving house, new job, new schools, etc etc. I know that with Sir's support, and lessa's and M:e's......I'll be in a far stronger position.
And if all else fails to make me sleep......I can always ask for a flight to Amsterdam on the NHS. A play session with Sir always knocks me out for many, many hours !! *grins
kussssssssssssssssssssssss
Cats and Dogs
Found this great diary excerpt today - thought of lessa and her menagerie straight away !! *grins
EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY.
DAY 1800800am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
0930am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
0940am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
1030am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
1200pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1300pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
1600pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1700pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
1730pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY
DAY 752
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the satisfaction of ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
DAY 761
Today I attempted to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking and almost succeeded. Must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust these vile oppressors, I made myself vomit on their favorite chair... must try this on their bed.
DAY 766
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to strike fear in their hearts. They only cooed about what a good cat I was. Not working according to plan.
DAY 768
I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time it included a burning chemical called "shampoo". What sick minds could invent such a liquid? My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.
DAY 771
There was a gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could smell the foul odor what they call "beer". More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of "allergies". Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
DAY 774
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his confinement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.
EXCERPTS FROM A DOG'S DIARY.
DAY 1800800am - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
0930am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
0940am - OH BOY! A WALK! MY FAVORITE!
1030am - OH BOY! A CAR RIDE! MY FAVORITE!
1200pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1300pm - OH BOY! THE YARD! MY FAVORITE!
1600pm - OH BOY! THE KIDS! MY FAVORITE!
1700pm - OH BOY! DOG FOOD! MY FAVORITE!
1730pm - OH BOY! MOM! MY FAVORITE!
EXCERPTS FROM A CAT'S DIARY
DAY 752
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the satisfaction of ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant.
DAY 761
Today I attempted to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking and almost succeeded. Must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust these vile oppressors, I made myself vomit on their favorite chair... must try this on their bed.
DAY 766
Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to strike fear in their hearts. They only cooed about what a good cat I was. Not working according to plan.
DAY 768
I am finally aware of how sadistic they are. For no reason I was chosen for the water torture. This time it included a burning chemical called "shampoo". What sick minds could invent such a liquid? My only consolation is the piece of thumb still stuck between my teeth.
DAY 771
There was a gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could smell the foul odor what they call "beer". More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to my power of "allergies". Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.
DAY 774
I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his confinement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time.
Thursday, January 25, 2007
Quandry....
You may remember me posting about my mother-in-law and stepfather-in-law's marital problems a couple of weeks back. They're having enormous rows, shouting at each other....all sorts. They're both in their seventies. They've got the whole family involved in the situation, her calling her kids up like reinforcements to show him that she's got support, him saying he's GOT no family, who's going to support him??
In came to a head last night when we had a phone call, my older daughter answered the call and all she could hear was her grandparents screaming at each other. We tried to get them to hear us, but they were too busy shouting, and then disapearing in other rooms to realise that the phone was off the hook.
It's one thing my mother-in-laws kids being involved in this....but now it's my kids that are involved. I had to explain to my daughter (and my younger daughter who also overheard) why the argument was going on. We've all done our best to keep the arguments away from the children in the family because quite frankly, today they may be screaming at each other but tomorrow they could be insisting that we all go to a family party and act as if nothing has happened.
In the end - I went to see them. And I was quite frank. I explained about the phone call, that my daughter had overheard everything...and that I was drawing the line at my kids being involved. I was then faced with my mother-in-law repeating every problem that's happened in the past..what he's done, what he's said...all of which we've heard before, many, many times. I politely tried to get a word in between her words and his defence and failed miserably. I had to resort to doing my 'teacher' thing and saying very loudly and very firmly, 'I'M talking !!'. I told them that at the minute, I wasn't interested in hearing their problems yet again - I'd heard them all before - my concern was for my own children and for my husband. That we were all there to support them, but we couldn't solve their problems for them - they had to do that themselves, and with Relate. I wasn't nasty, or rude...I was calm and firm.
Because their situation is affecting the entire family. They were both apologetic after failing to get me involved in their arguments, but to be honest, I'm not sure how to carry on if this keeps happening. How far can we continue to support them? They seem to have a cycle - they argue, she wants to throw him out, she wants us all to hate him, she denies that he's part of our family. Then next week she's telling us all that he's lovely, he's apologised and we have to treat him as if nothing ever happened.
I told them last night that I was being a hard faced bitch over this, but I was putting my kids and husband first. I've also told them that until my husband reassures me that their situation is positively solved....definitely....my kids aren't coming down on their usual visit after table tennis on Fridays, because I don't want them exposed to the atmosphere there. I guess I'm hoping that if they realise the kids are involved, they may think about their situation a bit more carefully.
My mother-in-law last night told me that he's no part of our family. He can go back to his own daughter ( a daughter he only found out about 6 years ago, but isn't bothered about).
When all said and done, he's been there for my kids if they've been ill. He's been there for them at birthday parties. He's been there. Full stop. She pleaded with me (not my husband..ME) when our first daughter was born, to let her call him Grandad. Now she's saying he's no part of our family.
What do I do? My husband is as confused and worried as I am. So are th erest of the family. I don't know how long we can keep supporting them in this cycle, but she's his mother.
Answers on a postcard please.....attached to a very large valium.
xxxxxx
In came to a head last night when we had a phone call, my older daughter answered the call and all she could hear was her grandparents screaming at each other. We tried to get them to hear us, but they were too busy shouting, and then disapearing in other rooms to realise that the phone was off the hook.
It's one thing my mother-in-laws kids being involved in this....but now it's my kids that are involved. I had to explain to my daughter (and my younger daughter who also overheard) why the argument was going on. We've all done our best to keep the arguments away from the children in the family because quite frankly, today they may be screaming at each other but tomorrow they could be insisting that we all go to a family party and act as if nothing has happened.
In the end - I went to see them. And I was quite frank. I explained about the phone call, that my daughter had overheard everything...and that I was drawing the line at my kids being involved. I was then faced with my mother-in-law repeating every problem that's happened in the past..what he's done, what he's said...all of which we've heard before, many, many times. I politely tried to get a word in between her words and his defence and failed miserably. I had to resort to doing my 'teacher' thing and saying very loudly and very firmly, 'I'M talking !!'. I told them that at the minute, I wasn't interested in hearing their problems yet again - I'd heard them all before - my concern was for my own children and for my husband. That we were all there to support them, but we couldn't solve their problems for them - they had to do that themselves, and with Relate. I wasn't nasty, or rude...I was calm and firm.
Because their situation is affecting the entire family. They were both apologetic after failing to get me involved in their arguments, but to be honest, I'm not sure how to carry on if this keeps happening. How far can we continue to support them? They seem to have a cycle - they argue, she wants to throw him out, she wants us all to hate him, she denies that he's part of our family. Then next week she's telling us all that he's lovely, he's apologised and we have to treat him as if nothing ever happened.
I told them last night that I was being a hard faced bitch over this, but I was putting my kids and husband first. I've also told them that until my husband reassures me that their situation is positively solved....definitely....my kids aren't coming down on their usual visit after table tennis on Fridays, because I don't want them exposed to the atmosphere there. I guess I'm hoping that if they realise the kids are involved, they may think about their situation a bit more carefully.
My mother-in-law last night told me that he's no part of our family. He can go back to his own daughter ( a daughter he only found out about 6 years ago, but isn't bothered about).
When all said and done, he's been there for my kids if they've been ill. He's been there for them at birthday parties. He's been there. Full stop. She pleaded with me (not my husband..ME) when our first daughter was born, to let her call him Grandad. Now she's saying he's no part of our family.
What do I do? My husband is as confused and worried as I am. So are th erest of the family. I don't know how long we can keep supporting them in this cycle, but she's his mother.
Answers on a postcard please.....attached to a very large valium.
xxxxxx
Wednesday, January 24, 2007
Claim To Fame....
Looking at my 'referrers' page on the visitor counter today, I found out that (presumably because of an earlier posting) a search engine given 'nettle spanking' will show my blog as number one !!
Oh joys !!!!!
Why couldn't I show as number one for people searching for gorgeous pain slut, or maybe rubber flogger?? Even labia needles would be better !! But to show first on a search engine's listing for nettle spanking - the thing I probably fought most against??
Talk about irony !! *grins
xxxxxxxxxxx
Oh joys !!!!!
Why couldn't I show as number one for people searching for gorgeous pain slut, or maybe rubber flogger?? Even labia needles would be better !! But to show first on a search engine's listing for nettle spanking - the thing I probably fought most against??
Talk about irony !! *grins
xxxxxxxxxxx
Tuesday, January 23, 2007
Sign of trust....
It's a huge sign of trust in Sir that this post is very different from the one I originally wrote.
I was going to close the blog, because of people seeing things in what I'd written that weren't there, then causing trouble by questioning my intentions towards DragonM Sir.
But I'm not going to allow them to take away something I love. This blog, and my ability to talk about my life, and my submission to DragonM Sir.
Lessa and Sir know that what I write does not mean that I'm pleading for him to be my Master. I'm his fox and I love being that - I'm happy as I am. His fox - lessa's sister. Anyone with issues about that is more than welcome to address them to DragonM Sir - don't bother lessa or myself about them.
I may not be his subbie or slave, but he has my full submission for as long as we all three are happy together - until he can teach me no more, or until I need more.
I love them both - very much - and I'm not going to hide that .
xxxxxxxxxxx
I was going to close the blog, because of people seeing things in what I'd written that weren't there, then causing trouble by questioning my intentions towards DragonM Sir.
But I'm not going to allow them to take away something I love. This blog, and my ability to talk about my life, and my submission to DragonM Sir.
Lessa and Sir know that what I write does not mean that I'm pleading for him to be my Master. I'm his fox and I love being that - I'm happy as I am. His fox - lessa's sister. Anyone with issues about that is more than welcome to address them to DragonM Sir - don't bother lessa or myself about them.
I may not be his subbie or slave, but he has my full submission for as long as we all three are happy together - until he can teach me no more, or until I need more.
I love them both - very much - and I'm not going to hide that .
xxxxxxxxxxx
Saturday, January 20, 2007
Valentines Day
It looks like it's going to be an interesting Valentine's Day this year. That's the day that my husband has his long awaited hip replacement operation, so I doubt very much that I'll be celebrating the day in the usual style.
We've opted for him to have the operation at a hospital about an hour away from us, as it has a far better health/cleanliness record than our local orthopedic department. I'd far rather travel the extra time and distance to visit him there than have him be the latest of many to contract MRSA at the nearest hospital.
So I think it will be a strange few months - he'll be off work for about two to three months - I'll probably be ready to kill him after one week !! I'll also be working at the local pub where I started last week, so I have to try to arrange shifts so that I can care for him the best I can. And of course, his mother is MORE than willing to come and look after him while I'm not there !!
It's good to be working at the pub. It's good experience for getting a pub of our own, but it feels strange sometimes. I've downplayed my previous work background to the other girls - it felt awkward to say that I've been a fundraising consultant, an school manager and worked for the Home Office, so I just said I'd worked in a school and done voluntary work. And it's true - kinda. Is that a bit of reverse snobbery?
I'm not working there again now until just before Valentine's Day, as I'm going to be replacing one of the current employees, so until then I'll be having acouple of quiet weeks. I'm looking forward to going back - I laughed so hard when I was told the other day that I'll get good tips from the male customers, because I say 'Sir' so naturally !!! The phrases 'yes, sir', 'will that be all sir?' just seemed to roll off my tongue !! When I worked at the school, I refused to call the male teachers 'Sir' as a point of principle - I can't see any way out of it with my male customers !!
Things feel like they're falling into place - my job at the pub, my husband's operation - fingers crossed that everything else works out just as well.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
We've opted for him to have the operation at a hospital about an hour away from us, as it has a far better health/cleanliness record than our local orthopedic department. I'd far rather travel the extra time and distance to visit him there than have him be the latest of many to contract MRSA at the nearest hospital.
So I think it will be a strange few months - he'll be off work for about two to three months - I'll probably be ready to kill him after one week !! I'll also be working at the local pub where I started last week, so I have to try to arrange shifts so that I can care for him the best I can. And of course, his mother is MORE than willing to come and look after him while I'm not there !!
It's good to be working at the pub. It's good experience for getting a pub of our own, but it feels strange sometimes. I've downplayed my previous work background to the other girls - it felt awkward to say that I've been a fundraising consultant, an school manager and worked for the Home Office, so I just said I'd worked in a school and done voluntary work. And it's true - kinda. Is that a bit of reverse snobbery?
I'm not working there again now until just before Valentine's Day, as I'm going to be replacing one of the current employees, so until then I'll be having acouple of quiet weeks. I'm looking forward to going back - I laughed so hard when I was told the other day that I'll get good tips from the male customers, because I say 'Sir' so naturally !!! The phrases 'yes, sir', 'will that be all sir?' just seemed to roll off my tongue !! When I worked at the school, I refused to call the male teachers 'Sir' as a point of principle - I can't see any way out of it with my male customers !!
Things feel like they're falling into place - my job at the pub, my husband's operation - fingers crossed that everything else works out just as well.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Tuesday, January 09, 2007
Boudoir....
Some pictures, I know why I like them. It just hits me.
However this one, I can't put my finger on - maybe its the feeling of quiet confidence, or of a girl ready to approach her Master.
Either way...it's beautiful *smiles
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Monday, January 08, 2007
Innocence....
My gorgeous sister lessa has a lovely post on her site today, about innocence
(http://lessa.web-log.nl/lessa/2007/01/dolls.html)
One of the things that came to mind this afternoon when I was thinking about that post, was the fact that generally speaking children can't retain their innocence for as long as they used to. I know this is something that a friend and I had long debates about, but I truly feel this to be the case, and I witnessed a lot of examples of this over Christmas.
At school plays now, the headteacher has to ask everyones permission to allow parents to film the show, or to take photos. There have been quite a few incidents of school play footage turning up on less than salubrious sites, the camera homing in on little bodies.
My younger daughter turned to me at the end of her play and told me that the man in the front row had made her and her best friend really uncomfortable, as he'd been taking photos of them most of the time. I told her he was probably taking photos of his child in the show, but she was well aware - and explained to me - why some people take shots at occasions like this. I can't tell you, I truly can't, how sick you feel when your eight year baby explains to you about paedophiles.
If my older daughter goes out with friends, or shopping, I make sure she has her mobile on her ( and actually charged!) and every hour, she 'prank calls' me. Not actually calling to speak, but letting the phone ring once so I know its her. This way she doesn't lose streed cred through having to call her mum!
We have to teach our children about drugs, which are now as freely available in schools as cigarettes used to be. Kids don't have the freedom to play outside as much now, and the majority of children play computer games non stop at home, frequently using titles which kill, maim and destroy people/places. I can't allow my girls to go and ride their bikes in the fields nearby - I can't take that risk.
I know that some children have never really had the childhood of innocence through various, often traumatic circumstances. But today, I feel that few kids ever will.
When I was little, I remember playing in fields near our house, in the days when summer seemed to last forever. These days children are very aware of possible dangers - they have it drummed into them by schools, the media and parents.
But this awareness might be enough to save a life.
What a wonderful world we live in.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
(http://lessa.web-log.nl/lessa/2007/01/dolls.html)
One of the things that came to mind this afternoon when I was thinking about that post, was the fact that generally speaking children can't retain their innocence for as long as they used to. I know this is something that a friend and I had long debates about, but I truly feel this to be the case, and I witnessed a lot of examples of this over Christmas.
At school plays now, the headteacher has to ask everyones permission to allow parents to film the show, or to take photos. There have been quite a few incidents of school play footage turning up on less than salubrious sites, the camera homing in on little bodies.
My younger daughter turned to me at the end of her play and told me that the man in the front row had made her and her best friend really uncomfortable, as he'd been taking photos of them most of the time. I told her he was probably taking photos of his child in the show, but she was well aware - and explained to me - why some people take shots at occasions like this. I can't tell you, I truly can't, how sick you feel when your eight year baby explains to you about paedophiles.
If my older daughter goes out with friends, or shopping, I make sure she has her mobile on her ( and actually charged!) and every hour, she 'prank calls' me. Not actually calling to speak, but letting the phone ring once so I know its her. This way she doesn't lose streed cred through having to call her mum!
We have to teach our children about drugs, which are now as freely available in schools as cigarettes used to be. Kids don't have the freedom to play outside as much now, and the majority of children play computer games non stop at home, frequently using titles which kill, maim and destroy people/places. I can't allow my girls to go and ride their bikes in the fields nearby - I can't take that risk.
I know that some children have never really had the childhood of innocence through various, often traumatic circumstances. But today, I feel that few kids ever will.
When I was little, I remember playing in fields near our house, in the days when summer seemed to last forever. These days children are very aware of possible dangers - they have it drummed into them by schools, the media and parents.
But this awareness might be enough to save a life.
What a wonderful world we live in.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Saturday, January 06, 2007
Further afield....
I looked at my cluster map today, and I have to admit, I still find it strange to see that people from various places all over the world read here. Admittedly, most will only read out of idle curiosity but it still seems unbelievable almost, that people in Australia, America and further afield read my words.
I also noticed that I have as many 'spots' in Holland as I do in the UK ! *grins
It mames me wonder why people read. I'm glad that they do, don't get me wrong, but compared with a lot of D/s blogs mine isn't - well - very D/s. Very few tales of hard beatings, or of naked goings on. That doesn't make me less of a submissive - it just reflects my relationship with Sir. Being from different countries our relationship can't be based on play ( and neither should it - play is the least important part of D/s). And before anyone totally misunderstands that statement amd tears it apart, I don't mean that lessa's relationship with Him is based on play just because she lives close to Him. Her submission/slavery to my Sir - her Master - is wonderful, and as real as it gets. My play with Him is occasional - every couple of months, but when it happens its hard, glorious, wonderful pain filled pleasure. In between visits we have other physical aspects of submission - but I'm too shy to talk about them ! *grins
A lot of my submission is based on the more mental aspects, which actually suits me beautifully.
My blog reflects me - kids, life in general, I've made apologies on here and I've talked through problems here. I haven't glamourised my submission. I've just enjoyed it. I don't put up thought provoking posts, I just say what I want/need to say.
I missed out on the de-lurking that tiggr and others had a couple of months back - that must have been fascinating, to see where readers come from. Next time they do one, I may join in.
So to all who read here, thank you. I hope I don't bore you to death !!
*grins
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I also noticed that I have as many 'spots' in Holland as I do in the UK ! *grins
It mames me wonder why people read. I'm glad that they do, don't get me wrong, but compared with a lot of D/s blogs mine isn't - well - very D/s. Very few tales of hard beatings, or of naked goings on. That doesn't make me less of a submissive - it just reflects my relationship with Sir. Being from different countries our relationship can't be based on play ( and neither should it - play is the least important part of D/s). And before anyone totally misunderstands that statement amd tears it apart, I don't mean that lessa's relationship with Him is based on play just because she lives close to Him. Her submission/slavery to my Sir - her Master - is wonderful, and as real as it gets. My play with Him is occasional - every couple of months, but when it happens its hard, glorious, wonderful pain filled pleasure. In between visits we have other physical aspects of submission - but I'm too shy to talk about them ! *grins
A lot of my submission is based on the more mental aspects, which actually suits me beautifully.
My blog reflects me - kids, life in general, I've made apologies on here and I've talked through problems here. I haven't glamourised my submission. I've just enjoyed it. I don't put up thought provoking posts, I just say what I want/need to say.
I missed out on the de-lurking that tiggr and others had a couple of months back - that must have been fascinating, to see where readers come from. Next time they do one, I may join in.
So to all who read here, thank you. I hope I don't bore you to death !!
*grins
xxxxxxxxxxxx
When I need you....
When I need you
I just close my eyes and I'm with you
And all that I so wanna give you
It's only a heartbeat away
When I need love
I hold out my hands and I touch love
I never knew there was so much love
Keeping me warm night and day
When I need you
I Just close my eyes
And you're right here by my side
Keeping me warm night and day
For my Sir....who's always there.
kussssssssssssssssssssssss
I just close my eyes and I'm with you
And all that I so wanna give you
It's only a heartbeat away
When I need love
I hold out my hands and I touch love
I never knew there was so much love
Keeping me warm night and day
When I need you
I Just close my eyes
And you're right here by my side
Keeping me warm night and day
For my Sir....who's always there.
kussssssssssssssssssssssss
Friday, January 05, 2007
Going Dutch....
My daughter had the radio on it the kitchen earlier and I was telling her to turn it down - typical Mum !! All of a sudden a song came on that transported me back to my childhood, to a particularly happy time when I lived with my Nan. I burst into laughter and asked her to turn it up quick - and sat there with a dreamy look on my face, just at the memories flooding back. I always loved that music.
When it was finished, she asked me what it was, to which I replied Eye Level - the theme to Van der Valk, a detective program from many years ago. My beloved daughter commented on the name and I told her it was based in Holland. She grinned and said, 'oh great - something else that makes you go all loopy is Dutch !!' Little madam !! lol.
I have memories from when I was tiny, of reading a story about a cow that got onto a barge in Holland and travelled the canals. I remember very few of the details, but have strong memories of the pictures of the cow getting off at a big cheese market, amidst piles and piles of edam. I know - pretty silly really, but I wish so much that I could find that book - just for sentimental reasons. My nan (who basically brought me up) used to read it to me when I was knee high to a grasshopper, so I have such fond memories.
I can just imagine me reading that book to my girls now - my smart ass daughter would probably say, 'Edam?? Where were the piles of rambol??' *winks at lessa.
kusssssssssssssss
When it was finished, she asked me what it was, to which I replied Eye Level - the theme to Van der Valk, a detective program from many years ago. My beloved daughter commented on the name and I told her it was based in Holland. She grinned and said, 'oh great - something else that makes you go all loopy is Dutch !!' Little madam !! lol.
I have memories from when I was tiny, of reading a story about a cow that got onto a barge in Holland and travelled the canals. I remember very few of the details, but have strong memories of the pictures of the cow getting off at a big cheese market, amidst piles and piles of edam. I know - pretty silly really, but I wish so much that I could find that book - just for sentimental reasons. My nan (who basically brought me up) used to read it to me when I was knee high to a grasshopper, so I have such fond memories.
I can just imagine me reading that book to my girls now - my smart ass daughter would probably say, 'Edam?? Where were the piles of rambol??' *winks at lessa.
kusssssssssssssss
Thursday, January 04, 2007
There's a NAME for it????
I found a piece the other day that gave a name to what I did last year....nettle play. I can't believe there's a name for it !!
Urtication: Sex & Nettles
Using The Stinging Nettle For Spanking & Pleasure
What is Urtication?From the Nettle Sex FAQ:
Urtication (urtica: nettle) refers to those who use stinging nettles to stimulate the skin for sex games, such as spanking and BDSM practices. Nettles cause intense burning sensations in the skin where applied, very similar to the sharp pain of a whip. In fact the family classification Urtica comes from the Latin uro meaning 'to burn.' But while a whipstroke comparatively fades rapidly (within an hour at least, with aching for a few more) the hot, intense burn of a nettle can last for up to 24 hours! The sensation takes a long time to cool and you're aware of it the entire time due to the almost electric tingle through the area effected. This is wonderful for longterm D/s scenes or verbal and light play in public.
In addition to this intense longterm burning, urtication can also turning even the most jaded iron bottoms into mewling kittens. Sensitivity to any sensations increases markedly, and in the words of Master Conrad Hodson "a feather can feel like a brush, a light spanking feels like a strap, a light strap or flogger blows their minds." One bottom, inquiring if a nettling would effect a spanking and in answer receiving a few swats with just the fingertips, exclaimed "a four-year-old could have me in agony!"
Nettles cause intense burning sensations in the skin where applied, very similar to the sharp pain of a whip. In fact the family classification Urtica comes from the Latin uro meaning 'to burn.' But while a whipstroke comparatively fades rapidly (within an hour at least, with aching for a few more) the hot, intense burn of a nettle can last for up to 24 hours! The sensation takes a long time to cool and you're aware of it the entire time due to the almost electric tingle through the area effected. This is wonderful for longterm D/s scenes or verbal and light play in public.
In addition to this intense longterm burning, urtication can also turning even the most jaded iron bottoms into mewling kittens. Sensitivity to any sensations increases markedly, and in the words of Master Conrad Hodson "a feather can feel like a brush, a light spanking feels like a strap, a light strap or flogger blows their minds." One bottom, inquiring if a nettling would effect a spanking and in answer receiving a few swats with just the fingertips, exclaimed "a four-year-old could have me in agony!"
Urtication: Sex & Nettles
Using The Stinging Nettle For Spanking & Pleasure
What is Urtication?From the Nettle Sex FAQ:
Urtication (urtica: nettle) refers to those who use stinging nettles to stimulate the skin for sex games, such as spanking and BDSM practices. Nettles cause intense burning sensations in the skin where applied, very similar to the sharp pain of a whip. In fact the family classification Urtica comes from the Latin uro meaning 'to burn.' But while a whipstroke comparatively fades rapidly (within an hour at least, with aching for a few more) the hot, intense burn of a nettle can last for up to 24 hours! The sensation takes a long time to cool and you're aware of it the entire time due to the almost electric tingle through the area effected. This is wonderful for longterm D/s scenes or verbal and light play in public.
In addition to this intense longterm burning, urtication can also turning even the most jaded iron bottoms into mewling kittens. Sensitivity to any sensations increases markedly, and in the words of Master Conrad Hodson "a feather can feel like a brush, a light spanking feels like a strap, a light strap or flogger blows their minds." One bottom, inquiring if a nettling would effect a spanking and in answer receiving a few swats with just the fingertips, exclaimed "a four-year-old could have me in agony!"
Nettles cause intense burning sensations in the skin where applied, very similar to the sharp pain of a whip. In fact the family classification Urtica comes from the Latin uro meaning 'to burn.' But while a whipstroke comparatively fades rapidly (within an hour at least, with aching for a few more) the hot, intense burn of a nettle can last for up to 24 hours! The sensation takes a long time to cool and you're aware of it the entire time due to the almost electric tingle through the area effected. This is wonderful for longterm D/s scenes or verbal and light play in public.
In addition to this intense longterm burning, urtication can also turning even the most jaded iron bottoms into mewling kittens. Sensitivity to any sensations increases markedly, and in the words of Master Conrad Hodson "a feather can feel like a brush, a light spanking feels like a strap, a light strap or flogger blows their minds." One bottom, inquiring if a nettling would effect a spanking and in answer receiving a few swats with just the fingertips, exclaimed "a four-year-old could have me in agony!"
I just can't believe there's a name for it !! Does that make me an urticationist?? Or more likely in my case, an oh-my-god-please-don't-get-those-things-on-my-ass-oh-go-on-then-ist?? *grins
xxx
Last night....
Last night was strange. I had a phone call at about 8pm from my mother-in-law, telling me that her husband (my husband's step father) had threatened to smash her face in with a hammer, and had been shouting and screaming at her all day. Her husband had then come on the phone screaming at me about what she had done. My husband was out at karate with my younger daughter at the time so I couldn't get him to go down - they only live about a three minute drive away.
I told my mother-in-law that I'd tell my husband as soon as he got in, but she started telling me adamantly that she didn't want him to know. But why phone us to tell if if she didn't want us to know? This has happened so many times in the past, I've lost count. So I did the best thing I could at the time - I phoned my sister-in-law, who went down immediately. And no - there was no point just telling her to call the police, there's no actual violence. And these people are in their seventies.
My husband and I ended up at their house last night until 11pm, along with the his two sisters and a brother-in-law. I went to make damn sure my husband didn't just punch his step father's lights out for threatening his mum. I - the 'emotional' one in the family - ended up as the referee/counsellor. Strange, eh?
They each keep throwing old arguments in each others faces - his betrayal eighteen years ago, her insistance that her three kids are more important to her than he is, and that she'll never forgive him for what he's done. She said she wants what my husband and I have - a perfect marriage. Perfect marriages in my opinion are as real as fairies and Doctor Who. My close friends know the troubles that we have had in our marriage, but we decided to work through them. And it's worked.
My....er...step-father-in-law never had kids of his own, he doesn't understand the bond that comes with that. And yes, my mother-in-law does make a point of telling him on an extremely regular basis that her children are the most important thing in her life, far more than him. It's really six of one, half a dozen of another - but there's no excuse for the threat of violence.
M:e would have been proud of me last night - I kept thinking 'what would she say in this position?' and pretty much took it from there. I've got them to agree to go to Relate - marriage guidance counselling- although I was so tempted to say.....I've got this friend in Wales...she'll help !! *winks at M:e.
We've also got them to agree to look at developing new hobbies and interests so that they can get back their individual selves and not just be half of the 'Jane and John' double act. They're so much in each others pockets that arguments intensify. But they've got to want to carry on - if not then Relate, and certainly not any of us can help.
It's so much easier to be wise and wonderful when you're not a central part of the problem/issue. When it comes to my own life, I often can't see the woods for the trees and usually fail to see why I'm reacting badly to something.
This blog isn't just about D/s - its about me, and what affects me/involves me. This situation certainly had me thinking a lot last night. But it also brought other stuff up with my husband - when we were talking afterwards he told me that he's been looking at jobs in Devon/Cornwall (we're currently central UK). He feels its a far better place to bring up children, and a better place for us to get a pub. The agreement is that I'd run the pub, and he would continue working as an accountant. He needs to get this hip replacement operation out of the way first, but he's seriously interested in us moving South. Just another example of how much things can change for me this year.
Two of the main areas of my life are my D/s life, and my nilla life, like most subs. When one is strong, firm, the other is easier to work on. It gives you the strength to makes changes if you need to. I know I'll have the strength for the changes coming up in my nilla life this year *smiles.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
I told my mother-in-law that I'd tell my husband as soon as he got in, but she started telling me adamantly that she didn't want him to know. But why phone us to tell if if she didn't want us to know? This has happened so many times in the past, I've lost count. So I did the best thing I could at the time - I phoned my sister-in-law, who went down immediately. And no - there was no point just telling her to call the police, there's no actual violence. And these people are in their seventies.
My husband and I ended up at their house last night until 11pm, along with the his two sisters and a brother-in-law. I went to make damn sure my husband didn't just punch his step father's lights out for threatening his mum. I - the 'emotional' one in the family - ended up as the referee/counsellor. Strange, eh?
They each keep throwing old arguments in each others faces - his betrayal eighteen years ago, her insistance that her three kids are more important to her than he is, and that she'll never forgive him for what he's done. She said she wants what my husband and I have - a perfect marriage. Perfect marriages in my opinion are as real as fairies and Doctor Who. My close friends know the troubles that we have had in our marriage, but we decided to work through them. And it's worked.
My....er...step-father-in-law never had kids of his own, he doesn't understand the bond that comes with that. And yes, my mother-in-law does make a point of telling him on an extremely regular basis that her children are the most important thing in her life, far more than him. It's really six of one, half a dozen of another - but there's no excuse for the threat of violence.
M:e would have been proud of me last night - I kept thinking 'what would she say in this position?' and pretty much took it from there. I've got them to agree to go to Relate - marriage guidance counselling- although I was so tempted to say.....I've got this friend in Wales...she'll help !! *winks at M:e.
We've also got them to agree to look at developing new hobbies and interests so that they can get back their individual selves and not just be half of the 'Jane and John' double act. They're so much in each others pockets that arguments intensify. But they've got to want to carry on - if not then Relate, and certainly not any of us can help.
It's so much easier to be wise and wonderful when you're not a central part of the problem/issue. When it comes to my own life, I often can't see the woods for the trees and usually fail to see why I'm reacting badly to something.
This blog isn't just about D/s - its about me, and what affects me/involves me. This situation certainly had me thinking a lot last night. But it also brought other stuff up with my husband - when we were talking afterwards he told me that he's been looking at jobs in Devon/Cornwall (we're currently central UK). He feels its a far better place to bring up children, and a better place for us to get a pub. The agreement is that I'd run the pub, and he would continue working as an accountant. He needs to get this hip replacement operation out of the way first, but he's seriously interested in us moving South. Just another example of how much things can change for me this year.
Two of the main areas of my life are my D/s life, and my nilla life, like most subs. When one is strong, firm, the other is easier to work on. It gives you the strength to makes changes if you need to. I know I'll have the strength for the changes coming up in my nilla life this year *smiles.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Tuesday, January 02, 2007
Happy New Year
My first post of 2007 came after a fair bit of deliberation.
I have, on the left of my blog, a list of things Ive achieved during 2006 including such things as riding Vogel Rok *shudders*, electro play and holding a spider. So, as its the start of a new year I was going to delete the list and start afresh.
However, I decided to keep it. It may be a new year, but I'm still proud of doing these things. I reemember being absolutely gob smacked at the time when I did some of them, as I never though in a million years that I would. So I'm going to keep it and add to it as and when I achieve something or try something new. I'm not going to wipe out some of my highlights just because its a new year *smiles.
My 'path' in many aspects of my life has changed a lot - I'm not going where I expected to in a lot of ways. I've always liked having plans - a five year plan for my life of where I'm going, when I'm going, who with etc etc. Last year my plan was non existant, mainly because of the situation between myself and my husband. It felt horrible.....as if I was just floating, waiting for a piece of driftwood to pass by so that I could try to grab it. This year my marital/nilla/family plan is set....we're all pulling in the same direction, and its wonderful.
My D/s path, my submission to Dragon M Sir is set too. Very very firmly. In fact, I'd say its set in stone.
It's to do my best, and follow his plans. That's all. He's steering the boat *smiles. So wherever he decides to sail, is where I'll end up. And for someone who likes....no, loves to know where I'll be 6 months down the road, that's pretty scary. Or it would be - if I didn't trust him so much.
I'm going to live life to the full this year, try my hardest at everything and be the best 'me' I can be.
That's living to my Sir's standards.
And mine.
kussssssssssssssssssssssss
I have, on the left of my blog, a list of things Ive achieved during 2006 including such things as riding Vogel Rok *shudders*, electro play and holding a spider. So, as its the start of a new year I was going to delete the list and start afresh.
However, I decided to keep it. It may be a new year, but I'm still proud of doing these things. I reemember being absolutely gob smacked at the time when I did some of them, as I never though in a million years that I would. So I'm going to keep it and add to it as and when I achieve something or try something new. I'm not going to wipe out some of my highlights just because its a new year *smiles.
My 'path' in many aspects of my life has changed a lot - I'm not going where I expected to in a lot of ways. I've always liked having plans - a five year plan for my life of where I'm going, when I'm going, who with etc etc. Last year my plan was non existant, mainly because of the situation between myself and my husband. It felt horrible.....as if I was just floating, waiting for a piece of driftwood to pass by so that I could try to grab it. This year my marital/nilla/family plan is set....we're all pulling in the same direction, and its wonderful.
My D/s path, my submission to Dragon M Sir is set too. Very very firmly. In fact, I'd say its set in stone.
It's to do my best, and follow his plans. That's all. He's steering the boat *smiles. So wherever he decides to sail, is where I'll end up. And for someone who likes....no, loves to know where I'll be 6 months down the road, that's pretty scary. Or it would be - if I didn't trust him so much.
I'm going to live life to the full this year, try my hardest at everything and be the best 'me' I can be.
That's living to my Sir's standards.
And mine.
kussssssssssssssssssssssss
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