When I'm good I'm very, very good - when I'm bad I'm better! - Mae West

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Learning....

I'm really starting to get butterflies in my stomach now about the long awaited trip to Dragon M Sir and lessa in France. As you'll see from His posting on lessa's blog - http://lessa.web-log.nl/lessa/2006/08/posted_by_drago.html- the teasing has now gone public *grins.

One of the things that has kept me busy this past couple of months has been my arabic/belly dancing. As past postings showed, I had some dance lessons with a professional teacher and absolutely loved it. A certain Someone expressed an interest in seeing a performance in France, so I've been practising hard. I must have done, so far, about 20-25 hours of practise. I know lessa has been practising too - the lucky Man will get a twin performance !! *huggs my dutch sis

I really do love this form of dance. I'm not a small woman, but it feels very sensual - and I'm sure that Dragon M Sir will enjoy the dance. Not just the dance itself though - He'll recognise the fact that we've put the time into learning the steps. In fact, knowing Him, He'll probably enjoy the fact that we practised so hard as much as He'll appreciate the dance itself. Apart from the joy Ive had learning the dancing, I've had the pleasure of knowing that the learning will please Him.

I really can't wait for this holiday with them both - for so many reasons. I just hope that I don't have too many nights sleepless with excitement.....

...I'll need to be fully awake to deal with what Dragon M Sir has in mind for us !!

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Wednesday, August 30, 2006

A fast, wet woman !!!!

Yesterday I spent several hours in Liverpool, having to go to the Passport Office to renew my passport ready for the trip to France. I had to wait for four hours for the passport to be ready (same day service) so to kill the time - in the rain - My eldest daughter and I went to see Pirates of the Caribbean. It was a fantastic afternoon, quality time with my beloved kid, and I saw a lovely whipping scene on the pirate ship !! (I made notes *winks). My daughter saw it and said.....now THATS gotta hurt !!!! *laughing.

Today the family went to the American Adventure theme park in Derbyshire. We had a great time, family fun, joking, teasing, laughing. But...all day I kept seeing the speedboat that was there, giving passengers daredevil rides on the huge lake. The boat was there last time I visited the theme park, two years ago, but I hadn't got the confidence to go on. Today I did *big grins. And it felt absolutely wonderful. Big spins, 360 degree turns at full speeds, jumping the waves...everything.

Sooo....another first for me. And indeed, another couple of firsts this week for me to do with trust. A busy week for me - and it will certainly be a busy weekend *soft smiles.

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Sunday, August 27, 2006

Monkey Business....



We had a wonderful trip to Monkey Forest - we went at the right time of year, as there were eleven babies around - so beautiful and playful ! My own two monkeys loved the trip, and of course the fact that their beloved elle was there was a huge bonus. We loved in vain, but didn't manage to see any monkeys with red bottoms, although elle seemed delighted to spot a nettle patch !! *grins

A quick lesson for you in monkey D/s - an Alpha male will only stay the Alpha while in the prime of his life, generally about three years, and will then be replaced by the next most popular male. However, the Alpha female stays the Alpha female for her whole life, and is then followed by her daughter. Elle pointed out ....it shows that women know how to do it right !!!

As always it's sad to say goodbye to elle, but the visit was a success. We've been in tears laughing about memories of our time together with Mike, (or should I call Him Mrs Slocombe !! *winks at Him), and I've been totally honest with her about what and who are important to me right now. She also spent a lovely hour yesterday helping the girls and I to create a framed memory picture of our holiday in Holland, including tickets from the safari park, a map from the Spido and photos of everyone that was there.

We will be staying with each other again - this weekend showed us how much we still love each other.

Thank you elle for a wonderful weekend. It meant the world to me.

Hugggs and kisses.
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Saturday.....

Change of plans. We didn't go to the Monkey Forest because I still wasn't feeling 100% (yes...100%..not 110%!!!). So we postponed the nature visit until today, and spent yesterday quite lazily - a trip to the cinema, a doze in the reclining chairs (bliss!!) and then a visit to a local pub. Oh it's a hard life ............

Elle and I had yet another late night discussion, as we're famous for. Now that we're not sharing a Master it's easier for us to understand certain things that happened in the past. I've really understood what created one of the 'flash points' in our relationship in May. And elle has seen more of what led to my insecurities.

It feels like it used to - it feels like 'us'. None of the stress and problems caused by trying to talk without offending - we were honest, and we've taken huge steps down the road to being totally open again, like we used to be. We'd both got to the stage where we hardly dared voice an opinion in case it offended or caused more misunderstanding.

So...a successful weekend for us. I had no problem at all discussing and hearing about Mike, and elle heard a lot about Dragon M Sir and lessa. (ohhhhhh SO many ears must have been burning this weekend!!).

Today IS Monkey Forest day - we'll be on the lookout for cheeky dominant males, and I'll be thinking.....this time next week, I'll be in France.

Look out for photos of monkeys with red asses !!!!

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Friday, August 25, 2006

Guest Posting from Elle

Yes.............. I finally arrived!!!

Clare is letting me put this guest posting up because I KNOW everyone will tease me for what happened yesterday so I thought I'd give you the laugh myself before the story takes on a life of its own and becomes some sort of folklore!! (Clare's already done all the jokes about haggis for tea!!!)

I set off nice and early, on what should have been a two and a half hour journey, knowing where I was going, but needing to check directions again for motorway exits. Don't ask me how, but between phone calls and just a cursory glance at the directions I ended up going the wrong way on the motorway and ended up almost in London!!!

So, the two and a half hour journey became six hours!!! Many thanks to DragonM for getting my message to clare to let her know I was going to be so late.....I didn't want her having visions of either something having happened to me, or my famous visits to police stations (it really only happened the once!) turning into an 'extended stay'.... cells....handcuffs......oooohhhhh lets not go there!!

Its lovely to see clare so relaxed, so happy, and its made such a difference to us. We talked last night about all sorts of things (I know there'll be a lot more of that this weekend) and even things which we both thought might be difficult seem so easy now.... smiles.

As I went off to sleep last night, our conversation reminded me in some ways of the journey earlier.....even while the drive appeared to be going well, there was some sort of sense I was headed in the wrong direction, getting further away from where I needed to be. Once I was certain of it, stopping, turning around and getting on the right road was easy and, even though it made the journey so much longer, I travelled through places and saw sights I wouldn't have otherwise seen. That can happen to us all in our professional and personal lives sometimes just as easily as it can a car journey.

I'm spending today with our oldest snugglebunny while clare's in work.... and then a girlie night tonight for us all. There are lots of other things planned for the weekend, including a visit to see those 'cheeky monkeys' tomorrow..... we must make sure we take the camera just in case we spot two that we recognise.... winks at M and DragonM.

and especially for clare...... thank you for the wonderful welcome to both your homes babes..... its like I've never been away....hugs.

xxxxx

Thursday, August 24, 2006

Changes and adapting....

My lovely Welsh sister is visiting the girls and I this weekend - she should be here around tea time (provided she doesn't haveto stop at any police stations *winks at her).

The girls are really looking forward to it, not having seen her since we visited her in late spring when we were doing the gardening with her. I don't think they've gone so long between elle visits before!! It's also been three months since I've been with her, so a lot of catching up to do.

A lot has happened in those intervening months. Mike dissolving the family, elle's change in direction re switching, Mike and I parting D/s company but remaining friends, and my growing friendship with Dragon M Sir and lessa.

There is quite a lot of opportunity for miscommunication, misunderstandings, and a lot of awkward moments this weekend. But when all is said and done, elle and I are sisters regardless of who our Master is, so we will value the opportunity to talk and cuddle, as we've always done.

My friendship with lessa and Dragon M Sir has grown a hell of a lot. As you know I've just spent a week in Holland with them and RB, and this truly was a wonderful time. Spending so much time with them all left us all far closer. Two full days out with Dragon M Sir and two nights of play, plus evenings and mornings of chat and fun left a big impression on me. Important things like that are what elle and I have always talked about. But, how we'll feel if we talk about it now will be the acid test. Will she be ok hearing me talk about time with someone other than Mike? Equally, will I feel alright hearing her talk about future plans with Mike now that I'm no longer part of them?

As far as me hearing about Mike - I think I'll be fine - my future wasn't with Him - we wanted different things and this past few weeks since my release I've realised this more and more. He's a wonderful Dom - and I hope He will remain a good friend. He taught me a lot and helped me to develop, he also introduced me to many new things. Mike has played a big part in my life, and I'm glad that He did. It's just a shame that His taste in music included Amarillo ! *weg*

I played with a friend's Master once. I'd gone down to see them for a visit and it sort of developed into a small play session. But there was no feeling there, no emotion, so after about five minutes I called red. I couldn't take even a small amount of pain - I take pain partly because I enjoy it - partly as a submission. This wasn't submission. It was just play, and I can't really do that. My friend even commented on my inability to play saying,'pffft!! thought you were meant to be a painslut!!'. Laughs - she was still keen on meeting Mike for a play session though !! *grins at Him.

I submitted to Dragon M Sir last week, it wasn't just play. I took a hell of a lot of pain, and also had a session which wasn't pain based, but control based - His 'experiment' with lessa and I. Even on our day out at the safari park the control was there - it wasn't just in the playroom. A long friendship, countless hours with all three of us talking, and huge amounts of respect opened up this submission. I'm not going to dismiss it as 'just play' to make myself or anyone else think better of me - being recently released. I'm not using Him as a substitute or 'any port in a storm' and He knows that. I'm proud that I submitted to Him, and proud that I played with them both. And they both know how much I think of them.

I'm going out to France with them both on 3rd September, a holiday which was arranged long ago, because of the connection that we all felt. That will be something else that I will want to talk about with elle. She told me on one of our long chats a couple of weeks ago that she has no problem hearing about my play with Him now that I'm no longer Mike's girl. There's no 'conflict' now. So I hope this holds true *smiles. I love her far too much to want us not to be able to talk to each other about everything.

So here's to a girlie weekend with elle - laughing, cuddling, shopping and talking. Maybe even a visit to the local Monkey Forest, where the guides give talks on how the dominant males rule the submissive females *grins.

Huggs for everyone.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Friday, August 18, 2006

Home....



An early start today, a late night last night and a long journey back from the airport - but I'm finally home. I already miss everyone !!!!

So many wonderful memories from our holiday, everyone was wonderful.

'Mum...thanks for the best holiday ever...I've loved it' from my eldest

'He's like a big, cuddly teddy bear' from my youngest about Dragon M Sir (ok I've just REALLY killed His reputation as a hard Man !!)

'You're my favourite duck !!' from my youngest to RB after she admired his animal noises

'Don't pick on my sister ! That's my job!!' again from my youngest when RB was chasing my older daughter *grins

I will put other posts up over the weekend about our holiday, but for now I'll just highlight some of the memories.

- A Spido (big boat) ride around the Rotterdam harbour, a lovely leisurely trip which showed us some of the best views in the city
- Getting dressed up nicely to go to a beachfront mexican restaurant but then going and playing in the sea anyway *grins.....kicking water at each other and running in the waves was WORTH getting wet and sandy for
- Seeing the trust my youngest daughter had in Dragon M Sir as she took His hand for virtually the entire day at the Efteling theme park and followed Him onto rides
- My youngest curled up with RB at the restaurants we visited and playing with him - it was sheer joy to see the look on her face - and on his
- Being able to just sit with Dragon M Sir, lessa and RB at night to chat
- My eldest daughter proudly telling me that I was one of the most fun, cool and wonderful mums around....(ok, I had tears in my eyes at that one)
- A phone call from Hans last night during which He told me how much He liked my kids, and how proud I must be of them (ok, tears there too)
- Trying NOT to stand there open mouthed when my youngest saw Dragon M Sir start to put His shoes on and then ask, 'Can I do that for You??' and then promptly sit at His feet !!
- Again, my youngest - on our days out with Dragon M Sir, when ever He said 'Come' to her ....she trotted off to Him SO obediently !! I WANT THAT POWER!!!! I wonder if she has a submissive streak ?? *grins and winks at elle about our little Domme
- Lessa patiently decorating the girls' nails with polish and gems......they loved it so much
- The ring and flogger that I was given that I mentioned in a previous post - mean the world to me - far more than I can convey here

I got to see wonderful relationships and wonderful people. I loved seeing how Dragon M Sir and lessa interact, the way she responds to Him. It brought back memories of kd's post about how someone can be submissive in the bank, in the shops..anywhere, and you wouldnt know. It's more than just play. She's His slave - totally. It was a joy to see them together, and I'm very proud that I was witness to it.

On a more personal note, I also had my share of His time. Yes, we all played. Yes, we had our 'experiment'. But He's also made me far more sure of myself in many aspects. I've realised that I need to stop questionning myself and my feelings quite so much. I've had a lot of 'firsts' this week - and all of them positive. And finally, I've realised this week that I have to try to stop pulling back and shutting off to prevent myself getting hurt, telling myself that it's better not to get involved in something than risk being hurt.

Life is a rollercoaster - I have to tell myself that the ride is perfectly safe even though at times I feel like I'm coming off the track. I went on my first rollercoaster this week. I didn't think I could do it. I buried my head in Dragon M Sir, frightened stiff, and He told me, 'yes you can'. And I did. Ohhh I hate it when He's right so often ! *groans....and lessa bought the photo to prove it !!

The picture above is the sunset over Rotterdam last night as we left the restaurant. Beautiful.

Thank you all for an amazing holiday, and a wonderful experience.

Love you all
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Vogel Rok....

I still can't believe it - I actually went onto a rollercoaster!

After months of teasing me about it, Dragon M Sir and lessa finally got me onto the Vogel Rok ride at the Efteling, and we have the photographs to prove it. I've never been so scared in my life! I spent the whole ride with my head buried in Someone's chest, the first half saying 'oh god, I can't do this!!', the second half saying 'I can do this, I can do this!'. And poor Dragon M Sir even survived the ride without me screaming in His ears *grins.

My baby girl fallen in love with Dragon M Sir. Everywhere He went yesterday, she followed. Holding His hand tightly all the way, she went on even the biggest rides including the enormous Python rollercoaster. He took so much care with her, checking rides before she went on, explaining to her how they worked. He was as careful and protective of my girls as He is of lessa, and was an absolute joy to see.

So...for a girl who NEVER went on rides, I've now been on the Vogel Rok, Piranha (a rapids ride), Villa Volte (a house that 'turns upside down'while you're in it), Dreamflight, Panda Dream and boats around the park. Not bad for someone who previously always said 'No!'.

Lessa wants to keep my girls. *grins.....I think she may have to wrestle elle for them !! And my girls are just as comfortable with Dragon M Sir,lessa and RB as I am. She loves them, and the feelings are certainly mutual. The girls are cuddled up on lessa as often as they are on me. Today we're shopping in Rotterdam this morning, and then picking up RB and going to the beach.

Last night Dragon M Sir had His experiment with us *grins. Let's just say it worked.

Spankings, floggers, wax, blindfolds, and much more.......and suffice to say I'll never taste cherry again without thinking of this trip !! I will also never, ever wonder again how hard He can play.

There's two very, very happy girls here......

.....and my daughters are quite ecstatic too ! *grins

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Monday, August 14, 2006

Arrived!

A delayed flight, enhanced security - but we arrived in Holland safe and sound!

The girls immediately fell in love with everyone, particularly our four pawed hosts!! And as a lovely surprise, Hans and Angel were waiting too - I'm so glad that I got the chance to catchuop with them too.

We were greeted as warmly as ever, big hugs all around - and RB had even been cooking ! Beautiful home made chicken soup was ready and waiting (my older daughter asked for the recipe!!).

Later in the evening Dragon M Sir arrived (frightened the lifeout of me but lets not get into THAT story!!!).

We spent a lovely evening catching up. It's only 3 months since I saw DragonM Sir and lessa, but 7 months since Bart and I met, so loads of chatting went on. My elder daughter made the most of having other people to help her to tease poor old Mum !!! My younger daughter enjoyed running up to RB and hitting and tickling him, and he chased her around the entire downstairs. She also LOVED doing the same on Dragon M Sir (and oh my god she enjoyed it !!). The highlight of her evening had to be being carried around the living room upside down by two big Dutchmen !!

When they went to bed, after biggggg hugs and cuddles with Dragon M Sir , lessa and RB. Their final words before lights out were, 'Mum....we love your friends'. Strangely enough.....so do I *smiles.

Later last night I was reintroduced to the souterrain - the equipped playroom downstairs. A couple of very happy hours later I emerged with a 'rather'*winks at Dragon M Sir sore ass. Lessa and I both enjoyed the attentions of hands, floggers and His beautiful new cane, and I saw lessa reacting wonderfully to His electro play.

I received two very special presents from Dragon M Sir and lessa yesterday. First, a ring the same as one of lessa's that I admired before. Absolutely beautiful, and it means the world to me.

The second - they have bought a rubber flogger, knowing how much I love them, to be kept to be used just for me when I visit. The thought that went into these gifts and the reasoning amazed me. I was very touched, and quite emotional ( you know me).

Today we're having a lazy morning, then - if the rain stops - going to the harbour in Rotterdam.

Both daughters are having a great time - and their Mum is happy, relaxed.....and enjoying a sore ass!!!

What more could I ask for !!

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update - elle?????? OMG it rains more here than it does in WALES!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, August 12, 2006

One more sleep !!!!!!!!!!!

I'm just printing off my travel documents before I go to bed.....then tomorrow....I'm in Holland !!!!

Checklist

1 - Practised my Dutch
2 - Packed the birthday presents
3 - Packed, repacked and packed again so that my suitcase just about comes in under my 20kg limit (damn.....my make up bag weighs 5kg on its own !!)
4 - Made sure I've got my shimmy belt and arabic music so that lessa and I can spend an evening laughing and practising
5 - Had a tshirt printed with 'redredred' for when DragonM Sir gets me near the Vogel Rok ride on Tuesday (DAMN...i forgot to get one done !!)
6 - Packed my arnica (thanks elle!), painkillers and soft cushions
7 - Offered my daughters bribes to throw cushions at Dragon M Sir and to tease Him as much as is humanly possible

Ok.....that's it - all done. Off to bed now, and hopefully a good nights sleep before I brave the high security at the airport.

See you all in a week, and to Evil Man, lessa and RB...

SEE YOU TOMORROW !!!!!!!!!!

kussssssssssss

Friday, August 11, 2006

Reactions....

Quite a lot of the people in the chat room that Mike and I go to have expressed surprise at the way I'm reacting to Him when He's in room with me. I've had a lot of concerned, and quite damning remarks made.

So I'll address them.

One - Mike and I are still friends. Just because we no longer play, doesn't mean that the friendship has ended. We've shared a lovely year together and have great memories which won't be swept under the carpet.

Two - and the one that really annoyed me. NO, I don't regret having His initials cut on me. They symbolise what we shared and to regret the initials He gave me would be regretting the past year. I don't regret a second of it.

Three - YES, I'm staying in contact with elle - she's a very important part of my life and I have no intention whatsoever of losing her. Yes, there will be awkward moments occasionally, but that's a small price to pay. She's coming to stay with me for a long weekend, and I can't wait to see her again.

Four - No it doesn't upset me when He talks in room about play sessions we had or difficult hotel managers !! Lol - it's all memories, all of which I treasure.

Five - No, I have no problem talking to Him in room about Holland, or my planned trip to France. He approved them while we were together, so why should He disapprove now? He's more than happy that I have such a close relationship with Dragon M Sir and lessa.

Six - Just because I'm not in room wailing and crying and screaming about injustice doesn't mean that the relationship didn't actually mean anything in the first place. It means that I value the friendship that we still have.

and finally...Seven.....NO I don't need to be owned again straight away by Doms I know in room!!! As much as I appreciate the offers, I'm perfectly happy as I am thank you.

I still treasure my friendship with Mike, and still have fun joking with Him in room. I'm proud of the time I spent with Him - things just changed and we wanted different things.

So please, my friends from alt who read here but don't post 'because'......kindly save any more comments about how terrible/awful/sad/ etc it must be to be in room with Him......save the comments. Just because we're not together now doesn't mean that I will 'slag' Him off at every opportunity. I know others who do that - I don't lower myself to that level.

We are more than happy to continue in room as we always have - He can make fun of Stoke Sluts and I can make fun of Him 'buggering off!'. At least now He can't thrash me for being cheeky !! lol.

I'm proud I was His girl, I'm proud of how I've changed and - most importantly - I'm proud of me.

If anyone has problems with that - deal with it.

Now I've got that off my (not inconsiderable) chest, I'll go and finalise my flight details for Sunday when I visit Dragon M Sir and lessa....

....two more people I'm very, very proud to know.

xxxxxxxxxx

Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Happy Birthday lessa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




Happy Birthday to my lovely Dutch sister.....you'll get all your birthday hugs in real on Sunday !!

All my love

Clare
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Countdown......

I'm trying to get all organised for my trip to Holland - I fly on Sunday !!! The girls are just as excited as me. I'm already mostly packed, and the girls suitcases are done. And there's a birthday present packed for a certain someone *grins.

well.......half of her birthday present *evil laugh*

Enjoy the sauna tonight

xxxxxxxxxxx

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Learning Arabic....





....the dancing, not the language - also known as belly dancing *grins.

A while ago I had my first taste of arabic dancing, yesterday I had my second and enjoyed it just as much, if not more so.

I learnt a lot of moves and a whole routine - making damn sure that all the doors to the dance studio were closed so that my colleagues didn't see!!

I wore the most beautiful shimmy belt. A piece of velvet that you tie around your hips, its adorned with hundreds of tear shaped 'coins' that make a wonderful noise when you move your hips. And when you do the hip shimmy....wow !! It's very similar to the one in the picture above, but in a deep rich blue.

There are two more lessons this week, so I'll get to do a lot of practice - which is good because I have this strange feeling that I'll be required to dance in France !!

And er.....because I loved it and because I think I'll be performing for lessa and Evil Man ....I bought the shimmy belt !! *grins

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Friday, August 04, 2006

Any suggestions?....

Ok, all you clever people.

I'd like a different style of blog - one on which I can put more 'permanent' postings, ie pieces that stay on screen and dont scroll with all the postings. I'd also love to be able to put a line drawing on the blog as a background.....

....any suggestions?

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Tuesday, August 01, 2006

Onwards and upwards.........again

As most of my regular readers know, things have changed a great deal for MasterPalmist and His girls in the past few months. And for some of us, it's become increasingly obvious that our paths lie in different directions.

Mike and I are now in the position of wanting different things, so we're now no longer Master and submissive - we're friends.

I wish Mike, elle and cate every happiness for the future. Thank you Mike for many wonderful months and many fantastic memories.

And please - take good care of that rubber flogger !!!! *smiles

Hugs and kisses

Clare