When I'm good I'm very, very good - when I'm bad I'm better! - Mae West

Wednesday, June 07, 2006

They call me Miss !!

As most of my friends know, I took a bus load of children from the school where I work to a theme park last week (should have taken the advice I was given and borrowed a crop !!)_ This morning I spoke to some of the students that went on the trip about other trips that we’re planning for the long summer holidays. They asked who the female member of staff on each trip would be, and I nominated the lovely lady PE teacher (I thought she would be a popular choice). The majority of the kids actually groaned and begged me to go instead.

The kids told me that I’m a ‘fun’ miss – despite not going on rides at the theme park. I talk to them as equals, but when I reprimand them, I’m not nasty about it. The main complaint that children at our school have is the way that staff talk to them, like second class citizens. Communication here leaves a lot to be desired. On the corridors at school, when I’m on duty I talk to the kids. If they say hello I answer and we actually have a conversation. And for a lot of these kids, that’s what they want. To be seen as normal people, capable of having a discussion. Don’t get me wrong, lots of the kids here are awful, I dread seeing them, but that’s a result of their background, not a choice on their part. So except for these children that none of the staff can control (not just me), students here see me as fun, ‘decent’; they respond if I reprimand and they know they can talk with me. When they leave at 3pm, they shout bye to me and wave (if I’m out of the underground office I’m hidden away in !! *grins).

This led me to drawing parallels with D/s. The teachers at this school on the whole act as they believe teachers should – strict disciplinarians, no communication beyond barked orders, as little contact as possible, showing no personality at all. I have seen so many Doms like that online. They act in a ‘Domly’ fashion. Insist on being addressed as ‘Sir’ or ‘Master’ (yes, that goes down really well with me – have I mentioned that I have a bit of a strong attitude towards that kind of thing?)), trying to get any submissive within yelling distance to submit to them just because they’re Dom. Both the teachers and these so called Doms demand respect for no other reason than ‘because of what they are’. Both need to learn that respect is earned. It’s taken me seven months to earn respect at this school, but I really have earned it, not just assumed it.

If a teacher treats a child as if they’re stupid, incapable of making decisions, useless and worthless, the child will more often than not live up to that ‘pre-determined’ role. If a Dom treats a sub in the same way, the sub will react similarly. They will believe that if the Dom/teacher thinks that’s all they’re capable of – they must be right.

The good Masters that I know – including my own beloved obviously *grins – encourage their girls to grow, to learn, to try new things. They encourage an enquiring mind, and actively seek opportunities to give their girls the chance to develop. More often than not, rather than tell a girl how to react to a situation, they ask ‘well, what would happen if you did this?’. They mentor as much as train, two entirely different methods as I see them.

Why would any Dom want a submissive that wasn't strong, independant and capable of thinking for herself?

So here I am – in a school, being called ‘Miss’ for 8 hours a day. Grins…. But I absolutely refuse to call the male teachers Sir !!!

6 comments:

clare said...

*perks....and rushes to see the geography dept to see how I could work a trip to Oz !!

grins and huggs. Master has always said the D/s is a two way street, and I agree.

(points out at this juncture that I don't always agree with Master because I have a mind of my own *winks and hides!!)

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lessa{D} said...

OMG... grinnnnnnnnnnnn.. clare... i can see it all... and ofcourse you are a 'cool miss'.. I immediately agree on that...

hey.. if you plan a trip to down under can I tag along... with DragonM's permission ofcourse... grinnnnnnnnnnnnnn

yesterday there was a funny dutch song on the party we were... about a girl needing to be playfull, some other things and repeatedly horny... Master told me that was my job description... grinnnnnnn...

well, maybe he can get us the mp3 version so you can enjoy it to...

hugsssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss

clare said...

omg lessa...PLEASE don't let the Masters start giving job descriptions !! lol. Can JUST see what they'd write !!

hugggs Fian...and makes a note for the geography dept. We're setting up an internet pen pal club too......that could give me reason to do a field trip to Oz !!

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Anonymous said...

Its funny how we see the world through different eyes. I agree with every last detail you say but come to an entirely different conclusion.

You see the way i see it, everyone deserves respect until showing a reason NOT to show them respect, not the other way around. Also the way I see it, thats exactly what you are doing.

These kids arn't earning your respect, you are giving it to them until you have a reason not to. The same applies with the dom's online.

When a Dom starts making demands who doesn't know you, or who isn't your dom, he is showing disresect to you. As such, you do not respect him back.

A person is respectful because its the right way to be, its not because the person they are showing respect to has in some way earned it. Respect can't be earned, it can only be lost.

Anonymous said...

I honestly do think that respect can be earned... not in all situations but in some...

my Master does not have many rules.. but one of those rules is that no one but me calls him Master.. Sir will do if there is a close connection and respect both ways.. and I am his only slave... not to call anyone but him Master.. that has nothing to do with trying to prove anything.. it has to do with the way we feel about our D/s.. I show my respect by being polite.. in rare cases by using the word Sir.. I think both Fian and Mike are in that category.. but in other cases... I use name or nickname.. whatever is preferred.. and I know a lot of in my eyes great Dom's who only wanna hear their first name... like my old mentor Hans.. and clare knows how enormous my respect for him is.. that doesn't show in the use of a word.. I'be been in dutch chats were it is claimed.. you have to call every Dom a Sir.. and for me it degrades using that for those I do really wanna use it for.. so I left the room and never came back there..

I am one of those subbies who only has one Master.. and no one will be on the same height in my eyes as he is.. well, not for me that is... He is my Master, my Lord Dragon... and ehmmmmm, it feels good for both of us that way....

clare said...

smiles....just goes to show how differently people can view things Masterabd.

I show courtesy to all, but respect only when I feel it's been earned.

Master could take me anywhere, any party, any meeting, and I would hopefully leave a good impression. I would be courteous to all, engage in conversation, represent Him well. I wouldn't have respect for those people if I didn't know them, but I would be polite and friendly.

The kids at my school are different - until you've earned that respect they wont give you the time of day. I treated the kids politely, consistently and fairly from the start and eventually a lot of them earned my respect, and I theirs.

There are very few Doms that I call Sir - DragonM Sir being one of the exceptions. I know Him, met Him real time and He earned my respect. It's not a title I wil use just because someone claims to be Dom. That's why I refuse to call the male staff Sir. To me, Sir is an earned title, not an assumed one.

Smiles....I have some strong opinions, and love hearing other peoples.

Thank You Masterabd *smiles