I went into my usual chatroom tonight just for a few minutes, to try and 'switch off', and I walked into a room of people being derogatory about cyber/online relationships. Pure cyber will never be for me, but the nature of my relationship with Sir , and the fact that we live in different countries means that a fair amount of our time is spent online, or the phone, or texting. That time with him is very valuable.
One of the comments I heard was - 'cyber is telling someone what to do online so that they can pretend to do it'. We keep saying that one of the beautiful aspects of BDSM is its diversity - everyone conducts their relationship in the way that suits them best. I didn't see much of that 'open mindedness' tonight.
If Sir tells me to do something - he knows that I'll do it, and if I don't, I'll tell him, whether its going to bed early or writing a business report. That's because of something basic and vital in any BDSM relationship.
Trust.
Trust applies whether you're 24/7 TPE, living together or pure cyber. I see Sir every few months in real, and I obey him the same at a distance as I do face to face.
After a long day, I really wasn't in the mood for this discussion in room, so I just left.
So many people are open minded.
When it suits them.
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About Me
- clare
- An unowned English submissive, who is rather a painslut ! I'm happily married with two wonderful children. I'm very lucky to have shared time with some lovely Doms in the past, and have learnt a lot. I've also learnt just as much from my lovely submissive friends - sometimes even more. The right Master for me is out there.....but he'll have to be one hell of a good one *smiles
For lessa....
A pure flower...for an angellic sister !
The ideal gift....
4 comments:
you know... talking in an IM conversation can be even tougher then talking real life... because you miss the touch.,.. and you still have to be open and honest... so don't let people who don't understand hurt you with stupid remarks.. they are stupid and don't know what's it all about...
kusssssssssssssssssssssssssssss
I tend to agree with both the last two sentences of your posting, and with lessa's comment. Yes, many people profess to be open minded, to accepting the validity of a diverse range of relationships, only to be found much less open minded when they they either don't like or don't understand what they see before them. Personally, I think I'd rather see such discussions conducted in the open in room where those who may be hurt have the opportunity to educate those who don't understand.
We can learn not to let the views of others hurt us. I have learnt from my own experience that our contentment with who we are and the relationships we have are the best protection from the hurtful things others say.
I read a wonderful line in a book recently. I haven't got it with me so can't give the quote properly, but the essence of it was that 'we owe it to ourselves to be completely who we are; those who cannot accept us show up their own limitations rather than ours'.
x
Hugggsss lessa...it didn't upset me...I was just too damn tired to get all defensive about choices etc ! Yes - you still have to honest, and you know how DragonM feels about honesty, kussssssss.
M:e - I've entered so many discussions in room, and yes , it gives newer people the opportunity to learn. But last night all they were learning was bigotry.
Love you both, have a wonderful day, and cuddle RB and those cats and dogs for me !!
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Clare, either you are open minded or you aren't, it's not something that you can change like a pair of socks.
I rarely visit chat rooms these days, some ignorance is invincible.
Warm hugs,
Paul.
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